i agree with CGB. you should write the fight scene.

nice chapter, btw. only problem is:

there's no transition between these 2 sentences. it's like you jumped from one thought to the next. I suggest something like this:

or like this :

EDIT: [FONT=&quot]

should be "inexperienced"
[/FONT]

 

It'd be odd if there was no fight scene after all that... so give it a shot. We're here to help, afterall.

It's not like you can write a Naruto fic without fight scenes – even if you skip Kabuto's you'll have to write one eventually.

 

I finally decided to check out what this story and suprise, suprise I found a Naruto story that could replace 'Never Cut Twice' as my all-time favorite.

The only problem I had with the story, a small one, was the lack of reaction from Naruto at the news of the Uchiha Massacre. You said the Uchiha Elders had had Itachi stricken from the records, implying there were Uchiha left. I would expect more of a reaction form Naruto when he found out that one of the strongest clans in all of Konoha was gone.

Besides that it was an excellant read. As for the combat scene I say go for it. THe wors tthat could happen is it sucks, but in that case you could only improve no?

 

Any news on the update, Liath?

 

Don't bug him . He said he'd be busy. I'm sure we'll see it soon enough.

 

Very good, but can you please refrain from using "Believe it!"? It totally kills the naruto (the jap one)'s character.

Also, just curious, why is this not on your FFNET? Are you going to post it there after finishing it?

Waiting for an updatez ^^

 

He won't post it on ffnet until he has a few more chapters finished.

"Believe it" is fine, I think, but neither "Believe it" or "Dattebayo" are a central part of Naruto – just a stupid catchphrase.

 

yes, but the literial translation of "Dattebayo" means (vaguely) 'because it is'
gtg now, explain more later

 

Really I thought Dattebayo was a nonsense word that became Naruto's catchphrase. Kind of like what Deidara does.

 

Oh You SOB! That has got to be one of the most evil cliffies i've stumbled across in over a year! I Love it! Epic Start my friend, simply Epic! I can't wait for the next installment!

 

I don't know where "Renzhouwlawyers" learned Japanese, but for the most part, it's recognized as a nonsense word (or an obscure colloquial term similar to "dontchaknow" – though I forget where I heard that):

from http://www.dattebayo.com/faq.aspx

 

Dattebayo is kinda known for being a bunch of arrogant shitheads.

Makes for awesome lulz however. Anyone remeber the Jew scandal? Fucking lawl...

 

Er... No?

would you care to enlighten me? Please?

 

It is, there is no literal translation into English because it means... nothing. There's nothing that corresponds to it in our language either, so I can't really explain it. It just makes him seem more childish - at least that's what I've heard.

Aekiel

 

it is sorta nonsensical, but jap people always add random stuff after their sentences ~nya

Its sorta natural ~pyon

But when engirish people try to do it... Believe it! *vomits* that is just totally wrong....

(and 'datte' = because; 'ba' = particle meaning 'if'; and 'yo' is equivalent to a '!'
A VERY literal translation, i was just trying to point out it has NOTHING to do with 'believe it' in any sense of the word. And i studied jap for 4 years during highschool... and failed. But i'm pretty sure the stuff above is atleast 50% right ^^)

 

who the hell are the Engirish people?!

yeah, that really doesn't help your argument very much...

 

Err... it amounts to this: They asked for new people, basically said 'Jews need not apply' as a semi-joke. People got offended. They mocked those people. The end.

The small uproar (Dattebayo is teh racists!!!) was fun while it lasted though...

 

Gotcha.

Thanks for the the info.

 

Datte's also had a bunch of funny april fools jokes. "WE'RE GOING TO SUB POKEMON INSTEAD OF NARUTO GUYS" they got a lot of 12 year olds emailing them for that one.