1. Hey Guest, welcome back to DLP

    As you can see, we've changed our look. We've migrated from vBulletin to the Xenforo forum system. There may be issues or missing functionality, if you find anything or have feedback, please check out the new Xenforo Migration Feedback forum.

    Our dark ("Dark Lord Potter") theme is under heavy development. We also have a light ("Light Lord Potter") theme for those happier with a light background and darker text.

    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
Hey Guest! Are you any good at cooking? Got a favourite recipe that you love to cook or bring out to impress that special someone? Why not share it! A new forum called The Burrow has opened and it's all about homemaking!

Agent Double O Hex, by KafkaExMachina - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by scaryisntit, Mar 9, 2008.

  1. scaryisntit

    scaryisntit Death Eater

    Jan 17, 2008
    Sydney, Australia
    Agent Double O Hex, by KafkaExMachina.

    That is if you couldn't tell by the thread title.

    Title: Agent Double O Hex
    Author: KafkaExMachina
    Rating: T
    Genre: Humour
    DLP Category: Humour
    Pairing: H/Hr
    Summary: A "tragic" accident leaves young Harry in the care of a relative that nobody knew existed. It seems Lily Evans had an Uncle named Edmund Bond who had a son he called James. H\Hr

    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1399028/KafkaExMachina

    Only three chapters so far (18k words), but shows promise.

    Basically, Harry gets raised from the age of seven onwards with James Bond. Hermione is the daughter of 'The Dentist', a supervillian who earned his title through his ability to use dentistry equipment in a variety of interesting ways.

    They both go to Hogwarts together (eventually), constantly find themselves next to each other and so on. The humour in the story is what makes me give it a 4/5. There are few 'meh' moments that drag the score down, but enough funny moments, at least to me, to keep me into it.

    M = Minverva. Lol.

    Random quote from the third chapter...

    Last edited: Mar 9, 2008
  2. Methene

    Methene Auror

    Oct 21, 2007
    Bucharest, Romania
    Prior to reading this story, I would have considered any James Bond/Harry Potter crossover to be made of instant fail. This is working towards changing my opinion.

    The early chapters seem to have a rush about them, probably due to the author's desire to get to the better years, such as year four and five. I think the Harry/Hermione is a bit too much for the early years, but since there won't be many early years chapters I don't mind it that much.

    It is good the story is listed as humour, since it would have failed at anything else. As humour it is light hearted and delightful. I especially liked Luna's portrayal in the third chapter, although I disagree with the author's portrayal of her father.

    I am not voting yet, since I wish to read more before forming an opinion, but I would give this story 4/5 for now.
  3. Humbolt

    Humbolt Seventh Year

    Feb 26, 2008
    Central New York
    I read the first chapter of this before I lost interest. I'm not much of a James Bond fan and the story failed to capture my interest. From what I remember the humor in it just made me go meh.

    I give the one chapter I read a 2/5
  4. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

    Dec 1, 2005
    I'll just quote my old post in the 'Almost Recommended' thread:
    I got about halfway through chapter three before giving up. But at least I have a clearer idea about what ruins this fic for me. It's a Harry Potter/James Bond crossover which I'm all for as a fan of Harry Potter and James Bond. But to me, the heroes and main characters are supposed to be the coolest characters. And when you make it all about Ma Sue, Pa Sue, and the bucktoothed ass-end-of-a-beaver-faced Mary Sue, and how they keep duping and getting the better of the 'heroes', it just makes for a story I don't want to read.

    Hermione fans will get a kick out of it, but for me she's just about surpassed Ginny in sheer volume of horribly annoying fanon characterizations.

    I can't stand Harry Potter fics where the OC American transfer student is the uber-wizard better than everyone in canon. So even in a parody, I can't enjoy a Harry Potter/James Bond fic where you're basically taking away what makes the two main characters James Bond-like and supplanting it with a trio of annoying OC Mary Sues named Grangers.

    My original rating of 2/5 still sounds right to me.
  5. Mors

    Mors Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Jul 5, 2006
    Somewhere they dont haet teh leet.
    This story would've found a far greater acceptance in some site called DarkLadyHermione. Grangers as a dark family kinda fails.

    I would've liked a HP/JB crossover where Harry has to confront muggle villains without his wand and with magical objects/potions in place of gadgets... a fic like that could very easily become a good one. I dunno, Bond!Harry going to Hogwarts and learning how to turn a teabag into a hedgehog doesn't do it for me.

    My rating is 2/5. Though I didn't finish the fic.

    Also: o/’ Bond trumpet riff o/’ <-- This fucking irritated me to no end.

    In summary, the adventure is stale, and the humour is not my thing.
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2008
  6. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

    Jan 3, 2008
    Washington, D.C.
    L.O.L. (Lack Of Lol'z).

    I read it solely for curiosity's sake, as failure was predestined. It read like a slightly more well-written version of the Invincible Technomage. The most creative parts of the story were the chapter titles.

    Both the James Bond and Harry Potter series are British; therefore, there should be NO references to goddamned "omakes". It would've taken two extra letters to type "out take" instead.

  7. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

    Apr 7, 2007
    Nowhere does the author say right out that the Grangers are a dark family. The Dentist is a mercenary, and M(invera) asked Bond to recruit them. Where KafkaExMachina messes up is making Bond using force at a conference where instead he should have talked to them first. After the Grangers' refusal, hilarity could then ensue.

    There are hints though that the Grangers will join up. I'd love to see Hermione's reaction when she meets M.

    If I rated it now, it would get 4 stars (a high 3 rounded up-- there are misspellings and such) from me simply because it's designed to be popcorn entertainment, and you're supposed to suspend disbelief. The author does a decent job of doing that.
  8. Kang

    Kang Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Nov 5, 2007
    Huh, amusing until you realize it focuses on beaverface.
    Then it was
    However, it was a good comedy while it lasted = 3/5

  9. hance1986

    hance1986 Card Captored and buttsecksed

    Sep 2, 2007
    why is this story getting trashed? i happen to like it quite a bit. i have entertained the idea of doing a james bond/harry potter crossover myself, albeit with a more serious and violent undertone. the idea is solid. in terms of humor, this does have it.

    in this case, hermione is harry's foil, keeping him on his toes more so than voldemort, in a way. there are inclinations of a romantic undertone to bond!harry and chibi!villian!hermione, and it works. the early years remind me of a less violent version of mr. and mrs. smith trying to kill each other, but they're both talented in their own right.

    the grangers as international mercenaries? win. don't forget this story is massively au in character development. i especially liked the beginning of chapter 3, when hermione's device apparently summoned something from...beyond.

    cthulu, perhaps? it's commented that hermione has to be grounded for breaking a few laws of man AND god. apparently she brought across something MAN WAS NOT MEANT TO KNOW.

    all in all, i don't see what the hate is about. its funny in a spymovie sort of way.
  10. yak

    yak Moderator Moderator DLP Supporter

    Jul 28, 2007
    Hermione is pwning Harry every time. The Granger's have won every altercation with Bond and Potter. When one side always inevitably wins, and one side always loses, that's a hero/villain dynamic. At the moment Harry and Bond are on the villain end of that slider. It's emotionally unsatisfying to read.

    This isn't a balanced hero/villain relationship at all.

    No, it doesn't. Even though the author said the kids are too you young for romance she's still pushing them on it.

    They're also experts in horrific torture. Horrific enough that the father is nick-named in reference to his skill. The Dentist.

    This fic has some neat ideas, and it's worth reading at least a bit, but there are several problems that quicly cripple it.

  11. hance1986

    hance1986 Card Captored and buttsecksed

    Sep 2, 2007
    yak, is it so much that hermione pwns harry every time as it is that in reality they are breaking even? in terms of talent, hermione and harry are about equal, although they have different areas of expertise. hermione with her breeding dangerous magical supermutants and harry siccing a CIA killsquad on her.

    as far as a romantic undertone, in chapter 2, harry is able to get hermione a minion, in the form of one big-ass troll. being the daughter of a mercenary/supervillian, a minion would appeal to her.
  12. Jibril

    Jibril Headmaster

    Jun 7, 2006
    50.26°N, 19.02°E
    Maybe it's just me but I don't like this story.

    It tries to be a pulp story but it fails miserably.
    In pulp main character usually does all kind of wacky shit and ownes almost everyone (eg. Indiana Jones).
    Here all the light is taken from Harry by Herman and her Mary Sue parents.

    Personally I would prefer a more grimmer kind of world-view - like in Casino Royale or [spooks]. With people dying because of their stupidity.

    Oh, and that.
    Fail. M is head of SIS and has no time to be a teacher.

    Another problem - long-ass spells. In second chapter Herman uses an SIX word spell on the devil snares when she could use just two one word spells with just the same effect.
  13. underachiever1991

    underachiever1991 Backtraced

    Mar 10, 2008
    Prior to reading this story, I would have considered any James Bond/Harry Potter crossover to be made of instant fail. This is working towards NOT changing my opinion.
  14. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

    Apr 7, 2007
    I'm sure Minerva has access to time-turners. That being said, you're absolutely right with regard to Hermione's six-word spells.
  15. belladonna16

    belladonna16 Second Year

    Apr 22, 2007
    Kentucky, but my heart is still north of here...
    I enjoy this for the strict humor/crossover that it is. Then again, I admit, I like a lot of odd crossovers. I admit to odd-duckness.

    I'd give it a 3.5/5... there's a lot of improbablity mixed into the story - but I can ignore 'reality' when I read a story :D...
  16. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

    Jan 31, 2008
    At your mothers house
    3.5/5 just because it's different. And it did make me laugh. A little........sort of
  17. pontfirebird73

    pontfirebird73 Third Year

    Aug 7, 2006
    New Jersey
    2/5 It started off somewhat ok but the grangers and hermione involvement in this story made me want to puke.