Easiest 5/5 I've ever given.

 

I am halfway through, and I admit I really like it as a guilty pleasure.

The writing really isn't that brilliant, but the author has some good ideas and I had to laugh quite a few times. It's making use of loads of clichés, and half the time the author fails at turning them around, but if you are in the right mood for the writing and the style, you might enjoy it.

It's definitely not worth the library, but I don't see why it shouldn't go into almost recommended.

3/5

 

The last chapter has "The End" in it.

 

Honestly, I love this story so fucking much. Melodrama is apparently the way to my heart.

 

So because I'm a glutton for trash I just read every fic this guy has written. It's not that he wrote better when he wrote Harry Potter: Geth. That story is the guy's best work. Everything else is as bad as this fic or worse.

Reading them all just shows me that this guy does not know how to write his own story usually. He just follows the story of whatever crossover he's writing at the moment and throws Harry in there to 'fix' it. Not stop most of it. Just to fix it at the end.

1/5

 

That's well over a million words. 0.o I admire your dedication.

As for the author, if you read his profile I think you can gain a better understanding of why he writes stories the way that he does. No harm no foul imo.

 

I made it 20 chapters into this shitfic and just couldn't force myself to read anymore. I think one of things that really killed me about this fic was the Severitus undertones only instead of Snape comforting Harry it was the other way around.
This guy is going to do a Rosario+Vampire/HP crossover next, and I'm going to try and read it because I'm a closet masochist and I really want to see a crossover that doen't involve a baby Harry.

 

This story provides an incredibly vivid experience that is trying to throw up in your mouth but failing. It greatly succeeds at this chosen role, and is a masterpiece at performing its job as a story: making you want to retch.

5/5.

 

Is it really dedication when you're just very bored? Also I now really want to rewatch through Hawaii 5-0 because of one of the fics.

 

Amusingly, I too went through this exact situation, but then I realized that new 5-0 is about as disappointing as this author's works. But hey, at least I know that I can enjoy a healthy nutritious subway sandwich, made just the way I want it!

And for reminding me of that, it gets 2/5.

 

I liked Harry Potter: Geth, but his other works (notably the HP/Buffy/Marvel/DC/whatever else series) got exponentially worse and more unreadable as he kept throwing more characters into it.

This one isn't nearly as bad as that, and on some level I actually enjoy the absurdity of it (the interaction with the queen, for example), even if it falls into some (OK, a lot) of the awful cliches associated with a Harry goes back in time style fics.

So I'd say a 2/5.

 

Since I was bored and hate myself, I decided to give this a look. "Surely it won't be that bad," I thought. "It'll be a fun shit fic to pass the time. And it's got SG-1!"

Oh, how wrong I was.

Before I even got to the actual story, the title is trying for whimsy that is immediately killed by the generic, lackluster description. Not so good but still, I've seen worse.

Like the first chapter, for example.

The author's note informed me that we don't get to the crossover stuff until fourth year. Yes, that's exactly what I want in a crossover fic: a long wait till the whole point for its existence materializes. The dialogue to description ratio is heavily skewed in one direction during the first chapter. While lean description seems a bit more common in humorous fics, the stuff here is just floating on the page without anything to anchor it. The dialogue is also aiming for being "funny" while failing miles short of anything resembling amusement.

The author also doesn't know how to punctuate dialogue tags, which screams amateur.

But, like an idiot, I pressed on. I really had read worse, and besides, I was avoiding doing any actual work. The story would change.

Change it did. For the worse.

Harry gets into Slytherin and turns into Indy!Harry who keen on pointing out flaws in everything. And this is where my hopes for this being an interesting trainwreck died.

Even if this is a parody fic of those stories, it's still shit because 1) it isn't funny, and 2) it is the same type of story that it is making fun of. It's very difficult to parody a genre while also being an example of that same genre. Off the top of my head, I can think of two fairly recent movies that pull it off -- Kingsman and Shoot 'Em Up.

Those two work because they're exaggerated, larger than life, and they push things to the extremes even while having actual plots that are taking seriously by the characters within them.

This fic doesn't exaggerate things enough to be funny. There's no hint of self-awareness; no attempt to have a "straight man" archetype who questions the lunatic idiocy of everyone else; no anchoring the story in a pre-established world that the author can dismantle. Everything happens without being earned, difficult, or even questioned, which is as good a sign as any of an unskilled writer. Comedy has its tropes and beats, none of which are followed here.

This story just exists like its dialogue, floating in the middle of nothing without context.

And all that lukewarm bullshit above is just the first chapter. That doesn't change by the second, or the fifth, or the tenth. There was nothing in this to amuse or recommend. It reads as nothing more than the usual Indy!Harry tropes set at breakneck speed.

tl;dr -- On a scale of "This shit made me laugh" to "Kill me now," this rates 666 razorblades.

That isn't because it's bad. It's because it's not bad enough. It's mediocre. And mediocrity is boring.

Also, I hate this fic for involving SG-1 in any way, shape, or form.

-9000/5

 

For some reason I read it all the way to the end. Latter chapters actually reminded me of DSS Requirement and HPMOR in a twisted way.

2/5 I guess, it's not My Immortal.