That chapter was really weak. If you have some secret organisation the last thing you do is make their members public in a newspaper. That felt like the typical wank job in certain stories where the writer thinks it's cool to reveal all kinds of secrets to other characters without any need. The same with the wandless magic stuff, just feels stupid without a context besides showing off. So I share your expectation of a fail here.

 

Lupin might've met her during Harry's third year, when he's a professor at Hogwarts.
I don't mind the Seer part -- maybe I haven't read enough stories but that's kinda rare, thus not unwelcome -- but I really don't like the sudden ultra mad skillz! in wandless magic.

 

I'm not sure if this has been posted yet. It was on TVTropes; that's where I first bumped into it.

Title: The Real Memory
Author: Enigmaticrose4
Pairing(s): A lot, all non-slash. It's difficult to explain.
Rating: T
Story Summary: Voldemort strikes and Harry falls. When he comes back to himself he isn't at Kings Cross with Dumbledore. Instead he's at the Dursleys, going to Stonewall High instead of Hogwarts. Why?
Status: Complete
Words: 66,235

A story had a plot, but it was very confusing at times. Basically, the author makes you question which memories are real and which are false. Eventually, Harry starts living his new "life", but every time he dies, well, something strange happens.

We start with DH canon, so don't be surprised to see Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione. However, every time Harry "dies", everything changes, including some of the pairings. Note that not all of these pairings are great. Hey, at least they're not slash.

The writing is decent, with manageable grammar and spelling.

The pros is that the plot is semi-intriguing. We want to know why the strange event happens whenever Harry "dies". The notion of which memories are real also is an interesting question. And, if you're interested in Muggle!AUs, you will get your feed.

The cons include the fact that you have to endure many sedentary, slice-of-life scenarios, while you wait for Harry to "die" and the overarching plot to be unraveled. The inclusion of canon pairings might deter some of you as well.

The ending was a little surprising, though. Not what I was expecting. And the Fridge Horror of it dawned on me.

Basically, not Library-worthy as the content isn't propelling, but if you'd like an intriguing and lighter fic, this might be for you.

4/5, but with a warning to DLPers about its forewarned content.

EDIT: Some mysteries were left unexplained; that annoyed me a little, so heads up on that.

 

I like it, but mainly because I have a soft spot for that plotline. Execution is decent, writing is a little vanilla.

 

I agree that the writing needs some work, but the plot is pretty interesting.

 

I'm assuming that you haven't reached the twist ending yet? Because it will either make you jump with surprise and joy... or gasp in horror.

I can see canon!Harry making that decision, but argh...

 

TBH, the ending was executed pretty poorly, imo.

 

Title: Memorium
Author: Aesop
Pairing(s): None
Rating: FR7
Story Summary: Memory alteration spells are a common tool wizards. The need to maintain their secrecy justifies anything, or so they think.
Status: Complete
Words: 26,723

An interesting oneshot that deals with the repercussions of muggle-worthy excuses and obliviations from the viewpoint of a muggle who is forced to remember for the benefit of the DMLE. The story hooked me from the beginning and was an interesting read - highlighting especially how helpless muggles are against the magical world. There are no commandos running around willy-nilly with guns in this story to prove the superiority of muggle over magic.

The downside to this story for this site at least, is that there is no Harry Potter in this story. The only canon characters are Dumbledore, Fudge, along with Susan and Amelia Bones. Additionally, the timing seems off compared to canon. Even though it is set in the summer after GoF, the aurors at least seem to recognize that Death Eaters are active, which runs contrary to what I recall from canon.

5/5 - and if there are enough positive responses in this thread I would consider submitting it For Review.

 

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6685668/1/A_Switched_Chance

Found this while sifting through the new updates on ff.net and was pleasantly surprised. The writing isn't great but rather readable and the premise is interesting enough- Harry and Hermione on a gender-bender trip in their 11/12 year old bodies. The quality actually rises with the chapter count and even in the first weeks of Hogwarts it's evolved to be much more than just another canon rehash. Another Plus: There are no hints of any ships yet unless you count the fake "crush" on Cedric Harry "admits" to Lavender to get her out of "her" bushy hair. ROFL.

Not library worthy, but a good time waster for everyone who likes redo fics.

 

Finally updated. Harry goes Rambo. Insane revelations in chapter 9. Story just got a whole lot crazier.

Might be library-worthy in the future, despite the meh writing.

 

My God. That is a brilliant fic. It made me want to despise wizards. I love seeing something in another point of view. Oblivate combined with the lack of muggle knowledge would be devastating to a muggle.

5/5 easily, even without Harry Potter being in it.

 

I agree. I'm not done reading it yet, but it's very good, definitely one of the best short stories that I've ever read. I'd easily give it a 5/5 unless the ending turns out stupid, which seems unlikely. Has a place in the DLP library for sure.

---------- Post automerged 06-24-2011 at 12:19 AM ---------- Previous post was 06-23-2011 at 11:58 PM ----------

Finished the story - not disappointed at all. I think I'm reccing this.

Fuck, just re-read your post Kensington - I managed to steal your thunder >.>

 

comment moved to For Review thread.

 

A Switched Chance was surprisingly decent, though Harry acted a bit like a girl at times. That would have been fine had it been a deliberate attempt at the author making a point about the switched bodies, but then it probably would have been done differently and better. What I did like and suspect was deliberate was the pronoun confusion they started experiencing later in the story - self-referencing using their body's gender, not their mind's.

Anyways...

This story could use a decent beta, and I don't really like Dumbledore very much.. but it's something to read. 2.5-3/5, maybe.

 

It's a slow read thus far, that's got something of a pacing issue. There's not much plot besides Harry going to school.

That said, there are a few interesting changes. He's put Hermione in Slytherin, and introduced an older Gabrielle, and it has a fem!Dumbledore. (With a cane of all things.)

The last I haven't seen before, so I'm interested to see where that goes. As to the characterization, I've got mixed feelings. She's a hard-ass for rules, so I'm reminded of Minerva, which is putting me off some.

I''ll give it a few more chapters to see if anything happens.

EDIT: I feel I have wasted my 789'th post.

 

The high points of this story:
The writing is decent, even by DLP standards. Not amazing, but far better than 95% of the drivel on FFN.
The characterizations of canon characters are also done fairly well.

The 'eww' of this story:
It's a blatant self-insert. It's not the most terrible I've seen, as the author tries to avoid making her character a Mary-sue by giving her some superficial weaknesses, but it still comes across loud and clear. A better idea would have been using an empty canon character and characterizing them accordingly.
The random "electrical" feelings. Those serve no purpose except as incredibly blatant foreshadowing (more like ramming it down our throats, really) and it's frankly jarring to read them in what is otherwise decent prose.

As I'm bored, I'll keep reading this unless there's a shitpile somewhere down the road or I find something better. Probably a 2.5/5.

 

Had a whole long review written out for All Good Things, but then my computer went and lost it.

Short version. I like it quite a bit so far. The characters and the emotional reactions were handled pretty well. I don't think the Dumbledore is a fem!Albus. I'm pretty sure it's Ariana. Her references to a non-physical disability that plagued her for many years beginning in her childhood seem a pretty big clue.

The world has enough clear differences that it's not a rehash of canon, and to me they seem planned out. The pacing is smooth and flows well, and by the end of Chapter 3 we're done with set-up and the author has shown what the over-arching plot will be.

3.5/5 for now, and if we were to vote I'd round up.

EDIT: Just realized it's written by Zephros, who did the "Lies that Bind" Harry/Daphne story where Harry was captured by Voldemort with Daphne's helped. That one was pretty polarizing with some great reviews and some terrible ones. The writing stylistically so far was a little better on that one I think, but in terms of characterization/the emotional ideas he's exploring I prefer this one so far.

 

Yeah, the writing doesn't seem nearly as good as it did in The Lies that Bind. Especially in the new chapter.

 

Yeah the latest chapter was terrible. The writing was just bad and there was nothing worthwhile in it. It was entirely pointless filler riddled with cliches and basic errors.

"Blaise Zambini"

Seriously just GTFO with that.

 

If you look at then end of Chapter 2, you'll see Hermione threatened to call "Madam Poopfry", a misspelling of "Madam Pompfrey" used earlier in the chapter, which is also incorrect.