Can you say they're enemies after that meeting?

As for the story itself...the writing isn't bad, but the story is rather uninteresting.

 

If any of you are tempted to read that Worm/Luna Varga crossover after seeing references to it in other threads on SB, then I can spare you the pain. It is poo.

The fic starts with a long, pretentious author's note about how this fic will have a heavy focus on characters and relationships instead of action, so I had high hopes. Good characterisation is my catnip.

The characterisation was the worst.

Taylor and Danny are OOC. Personality transplants. I don't care about breaking canon Worm if it helps the author to tell the story they want to convey, but this appears to be a result of ignorance on the writer's part. For a story with a character focus this was my first disappointment.

My second is the writing skill of the author in conveying character emotions and character building to the reader. He treats his audience like they're autistic by using dialogue to tell us directly the emotional state of the character instead of allowing us to intuit it. "I'm feeling a little depressed and mad, but mostly just overwhelmed, Dad" is an example I made up, but similar direct statements of character emotions are plentiful. This is a boring technique that short-circuits the reader's wonder and delight in exploring a character.

My third dislike is the surreal Pleasantville-isation of the characters. Taylor and Danny are both ridiculously cooperative and accepting of their situation. They decide to improve their relationship and immediately it is so. They're instantaneously comfortable with each other and teasing one another when they've never tried being so close before. This is uncharted emotional territory for the both of them, but there's nothing tentative about it. They should be slowly exploring the limits and balance of this new relationship between them. Instead, it's instantly fixed.

One example of the Pleasantville effect that disturbed me the most was Danny's near instant acceptance of the Varga's presence dwelling in Taylor's head and as a defacto part of their family. He should be deeply concerned, or attempting to ignore it, or wanting to protect Taylor from the influence of this third party, or jealous of his lesser role in his daughters life. I would be horrified and terrified. Instead, Danny's wisecracking about Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy references with it.

There are other problems, such as the awfully convenient plotting the author uses. He railroads Taylor into revealing her Cape status to her father by changing her body, and straight after opening up to Danny, creates a way to hide her deformity removing much conflict.

I read the first few chapters and then skipped to the end to see if the author had improved. He hadn't.

Spare yourself the pain. The only relief I had was the cathartic one of writing this warning.

 

I just binged Skein, its not so bad. The power is interesting and the story is written well enough, but its just lacking attention to detail and the pacing is horrendous.

For example: there's a scene where Taylor pulls out her phone and pretends to text someone. We never get any explanation of why she has a phone. This is jarring to me because the story doesn't seem to be an AU, but for some reason Taylor has a mobile and it isn't even worth commenting on.

I can understand why she has a mobile, given her powers, but how she got it really isn't explained at all. Did she have to persuade her Dad? Did she steal it? Did she find it? Having these questions answered in the story would have been so much more satisfying. We could have seen Taylor tentatively experimenting with her new abilities to persuade her Dad to allow her to have a phone. Maybe she could have even felt guilty after it. It would have been a great character moment and it would have let us see how her powers work without beating us over the head with it.

I also can't remember for the life of me whether or not Taylor has a computer in her room in canon, but I am pretty sure she and her Dad were facing pretty rough times, and she did most of her PHO trawling in class and at the public library. It feels like the phone and computer are placed within the story to give the author convenient access to devices that expand Taylor's powers.


My biggest gripe with the story is that nothing is happening. So far, there have been six straight chapters of power explanation with brief interludes of power-wank in between. The only thing of interest to happen was Taylor meeting Tattletale, which was brief and underwhelming.

I just want the author to get on with it. I wish the author would stop telling us what Taylor's power does and show us what she can do with it instead.

 

I spent some time trying to figure this out a few months back. Taylor does have a computer in her house (though not in her room, it's shared), as well as an internet connection. I believe she used the library computers for security reasons.

 

The guy who is writing Intrepid has now created a new spin-off which is Vista centric. You kind of have to read Intrepid to understand Odyssey

 

I need to get that Aliens guy from the History Channel to say Dinah. It fits for what I think of that 'story'. That's just one part though. His biggest issue is his writing continues to be terrible. It's like bad Joss Whedon.

So funny. Much wows. This is on top of the amazing info dump he gives for the people that didn't read Intrepid.

No.

 

Has anyone read either of these?

E.L.F, Extraterrestrial Lifeform (Worm/Warhammer 40k), by Shujin
Magical Girl Lyrical Taylor (Worm/Nanoha), by Marsyas aka P.H. Wise

Any good?

 

E.L.F. starts decently, but there's an endbringer battle that the author is struggling with. Magical Girl Lyrical Taylor is fun, but I'm completely unfamiliar with Nanoha so it's possible that I'm missing things that would make it intolerable for a more aware fan. I don't think it's the greatest thing in the world, but it's written competently and has had some nice scenes.

 

Thanks. I'm completely unfamiliar with Nanoha too.

 

It's good, I'm only familiar with Nanoha from a ranma crossover and it's explained well in the story.

 

I read up to a certain point, but since then never bothered to follow up on the updates since then. It's passable, I guess, but nothing more. It's generic, I'd say.

Also ignorant on Nanoha though, so maybe there is something for a fan of that but to me, it was all around just meh.

 

Being a Nanoha fan doesn't really enhance or hurt that story. The Nanoha side of the cross is handled about as well as the Worm side in that there's nothing horribly wrong but also nothing all that exciting.

E.L.F.'s introductory arc is significantly above average for an alt-power intro arc, but it's still fundamentally something you've read a whole bunch of times before. Unfortunately the next arc after the intro sort of flopped. I hope Shujin manages to salvage it as I think the story does still have potential.

 

Frankly, at this stage it has begun to smack of 'rationalist' fics where writers try to explain the awesomeness of their characters by dissecting a power/technique ad nauseum.

The only reason I'm checking out the updates now is to see how the whole Tattletale vs Taylor thing pans out. Whether it's allies or enemies, it has potential for conflict.

I can speak to Magical Girl Lyrical. I don't know anything about Nanoha and had no trouble following it. I read quite a bit of it but it has a pet peeve of mine that made me drop it. The pet peeve is a bit spoilery so under tags:

Spoiler

Several people get Taylor's ability and power. I hate when this happens in any fandom, because it makes the MC just like anyone else. For example, in this Taylor's power is some sort of magic, and soon you have several characters (friendlies and enemies) learning it.

Other than the pet peeve that made me drop it, it does have a bunch of good things going for it. Though it does seem to meander a bit.

I did start ELF as well but grew bored fast. Can't recall why now. Would have to reread the first few chapters to jog my memory.

 

I happen to think the Nanoha crossover is extremely good - the story has a sense of direction that most fanfics lack. Combine that with good characterizations, solid prose, and the seemingly magical ability to avoid rehash... I consider it one of the better fics in the fandom.

 

Back to Centipede. As much as it is a good story, I can't help feel massively disappointed by it currently. I think it's more because I was hoping the story would keep Taylor at a mid tier on the rating scales. I'm more interested in the kinds of tradeoffs she had to do with drugs and the like. It feels like the story has lost all sense of tradeoffs she had to deal with, besides the tiny amount of drugs in the background that don't seem to matter at all for the narrative.

I just don't see a way Pangolin will make the story interesting again... spoilers.

Spoiler

As much as Eidolon was quite funny, I felt like I lost all care for the story at this point. Taylor only has Lung left to fight and The Slaughterhouse Nine once they show up. While it is in canon with Theo, she now controls The Empire. She just stopped The Fallen. She is the Merchants. Maybe because I don't ever feel like Taylor has really lost, I don't trust Pangolin to do anything interesting with the remaining bad guys. Taylor is now apart of the Super Illuminate. What is left?

Is it just me? Am I missing something from Tokyo Ghoul that would spice up the story? Am I just being overly critical?

 

Concur, actually. While I praised the initial Endbringer show-up scene for creating this pure anime-about-to-get-awesome feel, afterwards I cannot help but feel that Endbringers and other high end stuff like Cauldron, S9 and Scion are poison for most Worm fics.

I get that they belong to Worm, but large scale things really end up ... diluting the story. I also feel like remaining street level and dealing with the various gangs and Protectorate, making carving out a place there a difficult battle.

Kinda hoping this will be the path the fic will go, that Eidolon was only brought in to explain why Cauldron won't be interfering via sending one of the big 3 to deal with Taylor and we will get back to see the tongues struggle against the Teeth and Accord's crew, maybe having to look out for Empire backstabs and Lung, all the while the Protectorate is making things difficult.

That we won't get any more Endbringer battles, that the S9 won't be coming into town and we won't see Scion rampage.

 

No, it's not just you.

I still enjoy and look forward to updates, but the story has plateaued. Danny could have been a damn annoying antagonist showing up at the worst moments, but instead he's barely present in the story. Taylor has the Tongues, Undersiders, Travelers, Medhall Empire, and New Coil under her thumb. Even Leviathan's attack on BB and Sophia going rogue solidified and legitimised (with Eidolon no less) Taylor's control of the Bay. And she demands rebuilding money from him and gets it.

It's all too easy now. The struggle, stress, and compromise is over. If we're supposed to be following Taylor's personal journey from naive well-intentioned teenager to ruthless, well-intentioned warlord, then that character arc seems to be done.

What’s left?

 

Anyone following

Title: Monster
Author: Ghoul King
Rating: T
Genre: Alt!power/AU
Status: In-Progress
Pairings: None
Summary: Not every problem can be solved by stabbing it repeatedly. In which Taylor has a different power, because she is a different person, and the consequences therein.
Word Count: 139,010
Link: fanfiction.net, SV

Rather interesting fic. Basically, Taylor triggered with Night's powers, in that she transforms into a lethal monster whenever no one is looking at her and she wants to improve the world by removing the big threats so she starts big.

What works in the fic is the tone, the atmosphere and the really interesting duo that is the Taylor and Cherish team-up. What doesn't is that Taylor herself can be a bit grating/annoying at times, especially her thoughts on Dragon, which are just stupid.

Overall, interesting concept rather well done. I especially adore Cherish in this, she's a lot of fun, and it's a rather accurate portrayal of her, if you imagine her before the S9 happened to her.

 

Sorry to tell you it's been confirmed that S9 will be coming to town for the final arc (or maybe it was second to last, don't quite remember).

But yeah, the story was far more interesting before the Leviathan came to town, and I don't see it getting better now that Taylor is Cauldron's approved feudal overlord of the Bay.

Following that, really like it actually. Interaction between Cherish and Taylor makes the story for me.

 

Following and quite enjoying so far. I like both of the MCs characterizations and the struggles Taylor has with her emotions and with the mistakes made in regards to the PRT and Protectorate. I only have one gripe with it, and that is

Spoiler

how the author dealt with Saint. I feel they got to them too fast but that might be just me

All in all very solid story, would recommend it further.

As for E.L.F. by Shujin, the biggest problem in the story is the actual Farseer part. He handled it well with the Eldar being angry and disappointed that their collective souls and memories (quite complicated to explain without 40k knowledge) went to a human and thus not teaching her about her powers. Otherwise Farseer!Taylor would just roflstomp everybody instantly except the Endbringers and Scion probably.

And there lies the problem I think. Pitting Taylor against all three Endbringers just seems like a climax that's coming too soon. And that I don't know for what he is setting things up. More 40k? Or does he stay with Worm?

Spoiler

As I understand it, the Simurgh is currently assembling a Tinkertech device which would allow her to create a Warpstorm similar to the one Taylor created when she triggered. That would open the world to the Immaterium and thus potential daemon invasions from the 40k lore. Which would be bad...