Crawl by Ryuugi.
http://forums.spacebattles.com/thre...ussion-thread-21.287392/page-83#post-13351497
http://forums.spacebattles.com/thre...ussion-thread-22.288431/page-33#post-13401321
http://forums.spacebattles.com/thre...ussion-thread-23.289653/page-28#post-13510624

 

There was another one I can't remember the name of, but like Ryuugi's didn't really progress beyond the first scene.
I guess most people don't want to write about Taylor physically turning into a monster even though it has much dramatic potential, and the two most obvious ways to get around that, could easily come across as a cop-out ie. a second trigger to gain control, or someone like Panacea to manage the mutations.

There's been a few Zerg!Taylor fics that have played around with the evolutionary aspect, sort of like a crawler-lite, but the fics were more guilty pleasure, rather than good, or too short to judge.

 

Thank you, I absolutely understand that criticism of that nature is meant to hopefully make the work improve. I'm not perfect, but I do try to see the issues that people have as things that I need to work on as much as possible. I want to do better, which means I need to know where I'm lacking.

As to easy endings, or rather the fact that the first plan tends to work, I absolutely agree that's something I need to work on. Part of that actually comes from my hesitation to drag things out, or to put people off with 'too much downer stuff.' It's a balancing act that I need to tweak a bit more so that the success in the end feels more earned.

For Coil, well

Spoiler

He was just reintroduced in the latest update, which was my plan all along. From the moment he was stopped in Arc 8, I knew he was coming back along with the original Pandora. Several things that have happened since his 'defeat' were actually orchestrated by him. Things that people questioned like Madison not running into him in the Birdcage even though it would have been a good scene were actually hints that he wasn't actually in there. He and his new group are going offscreen for awhile now so we can get back to more street level/fun interaction stuff, but hopefully Coil Plot Redux will end up feeling like a more balanced storyline as it plays out.

And as that goes, I'll absolutely keep that 'too easy/first plans work' thing in mind.

On the ellipses, people have mentioned it and to be fair, I attempt to only really use them that much in those parts where it's very important to me to portray the exact kind of pausing that's going on and how long it's taking the person to get out what they're trying to say. It's not perfect, and to be honest it's probably equal parts a product of my being insistent on exactly how I want dialogue to go including specific long pauses and emotional beats as well as my much longer history with online roleplay than full length story writing (which itself probably strengthens the former). Some people it bothers, others are fine with it.

That said, I'll keep it in mind.

For Madison herself, I think I understand what you mean. I mean, she is supposed to be cute and adorable and such with the people she cares about and feels safe with, cocky and jokey with the villains because it's how she copes, and when she thinks about Taylor, the guilt catches up with her. It's the different groups that inspire different parts of her personality to shine. With that in mind, however, there should be more bleed-over between various types of scenes, such as a brief feeling of guilt while being happy with Marissa or Ethan and Sam. Not just to be like 'oooh look downer downer downer', but to show that she doesn't go through things robotically like 'Now is the time for focusing on Taylor, guilt period commencing for sixty minutes.' More... again, balanced. Struggling a bit to keep things separate. With the way the last arc ended with

Spoiler

Jack forcing her to admit what happened to Taylor on camera

there's plenty of reason for her compartmentalized feelings to bleed out more as it goes.

So yeah, overall, more balance on several things is needed. I'm definitely going to work on that among other things. Like I said above, hearing what needs to be improved is extremely useful, so thanks for that.

 

I forgot how much I liked this story. Of course it would also be by Ryuugi. Damn it!

 

What are those two fics he's finished?

 

Here be Dragons is one. Not sure about the other, but the fact that it isn't Ice Age makes me sad.

 

Slane

Not going to write a more complete review now (and who knows if ever). I found Atonement well done, but dropped it a bit after the Birdcage arc. I agree that Madison just seemed to have it to easy, or at least her and her circles victory seemed a foregone conclusion.

You also repeatedly had the Protectorate proper isolated so Madison and her friends would have to deal with the problem alone. And they did. I really didn't like that - the're lower on the firepower scale then most grown up hero's or the Protectorate proper, which I am reminded of by the Wards regulations. Yet they deal with S-Class problems that the Protectorate has pretty much given up on dealing with, on their own and without much preparation. It makes me wonder what the hell everybody else is doing.

 

Holy shit that's finished?

 

For some definition of finished. Ryuugi considers it finished at least, but from what I recall the story didn't really come to anything like a resolution.

 

Well that's depressing

 

The story was one big fight scene. The fight scene ended. Thus, story complete.

 

Well, it's more that the story arc ended. A lot of people focus on the fight which, honestly, surprises me me since out of the three arcs of that story, only the first one was really about the fight itself--and even then, it was about the fight only insomuch as it was really about Taylor hitting the breaking point. The next arc was mainly people reacting to that, trying to figure things out in her wake, and either pushing Taylor or trying to reign her back in, with only 2.2 and 2.4 really having much to do with the fight--again, secondary to what's really happening, namely what Taylor's done and the attempt to bring her back under control. The final arc had a fight in it only in that Taylor had hit another breaking point and finally reached the point where she asked for help putting the broken pieces of her life back together. How well that works is open to interpretation, because the scene where she flies off at the end and seeks refuge somewhere else could be viewed as her finding a second chance or, well, running away from her problems.

HBD was pretty much all about Taylor fucking up her own life by making a completely understandable but unfortunate decision and using her powers to take revenge on her tormentors. Things then proceeded to escalate horrifically because of her power, making things worse and worse as she hurt people until she hit what she thought was rock bottom at the end of the first arc and decided to, essentially commit suicide by cop and go down in a blaze of glory--but then it got even worse. The entire thing last until she managed to...not really make peace with herself or fix things, but ask for help, so the story ended. The hypothetical sequel, if/when it gets written, will focus on what goes from there.

(Also, it kind of surprises me whenever people talk about HBD having too much fighting and not anything else, because the entire thing was a character piece and the fight was in the background for about half to two-thirds of the story. It was a thing that was happening throughout the whole thing, but most of it wasn't fighting. In fact, something like half of it was just people talking about stuff, IIRC. I think there were, maybe, three different chapters which could literally be described as people watching TV and thinking about stuff. I guess I'm glad people considered it action packed anyway, because I remember being a bit worried about boring people with that stuff, but yeah.)

 

I think the issue is that you tend to use fight scenes as a vessel for character development rather than the traditional bip bop wham. As someone who has never been a great fan of your standard fight scene I think that's awesome and a sign of good writing, but reading a constant action scene can get really exhausting, even if it's a metaphor for what's going on at a deeper level. Hence the complaints.

At least, that's my kvetch on the whole matter; I would prefer more straight out talky bits without the fight overlay, but part of the problem of a serial work is that if a scene drags on then it really feels like it drags on.

 

Well to me it felt like one big fight scene. It involved an enormous ammount of character development, but the story itself was a fight scene. I thought it was a well written fight scene, but it was nonetheless a fight scene.
If it was intended to be something else, then I don't know what to say, it read like a fight scene.

 

Very, very, very short one-shot, that is really not all that special but it makes you feel one of these rare "oh shit" moments and for that and its novelty alone, I think it is worth a read.

It's really too short to rate, but I don't think one will regret the minute one sacrifices to click and read this thing.

In a Word by Lavanya Six

 

It really does have that oh shit moment

Edit

He has another one of those where Victoria's aura made Amy terrified of her

 

Just read through this last night and really enjoyed it. Strictly speaking, in any other fandom this would be nothing special, and they would be rife with fics like this. But given Worm has so few, and basically zero Dragon-centric fics, it really stands out as unique.

Concept is based around the Dragon/Defiant epilogue, except when Colin unleashes Pandora (the Dragon backup), she decides she doesn't want to die and escapes. So now you have two Dragons floating around, slightly hostile to each other, along with all of Teacher's machinations and a sub-plot revolving around Saint/Pandora interactions.

Would recommend people give it a try for something different.

Wow, this was just painfully awesome to read. Don't think I've felt pity for Taylor like that before.

Edit:

Just read through this and was really surprised with how you felt about it. Could be a bit biased seeing as I just got up to date (and unlike most Worm fics I've been reading, actually had that huge feeling of frustration when I realized there were no more chapters), but this is probably one of my favourite Worm fics.

Not sure if a summary was mentioned earlier in this thread, but the concept is basically that the group that went to Cauldron while the Irregulars were attacking are transported back to a time where Allfather, Butcher and Marquis are all active in Brockton Bay. So that's Golem, Imp, Rachael, Cuff, Lung, Shadow Stalker, Canary and a few others.

I think this fic does a good job of avoiding many of the pitfalls that you generally see in this style of fic. Taylor decides she doesn't want to be at the mercy of Cauldron with their knowledge, and focuses on amassing influence in the only way she knows how. Ie, despite her continuing claims of aiming for being more a vigilante group, she makes enemies with everyone of them and acts the part of an even more aggressive Warlord than she was as Skitter.

What makes this work and not just end up too cheesy is that whether Taylor is justified in her methods is something that isn't clear. The heroes under her feel very uncomfortable with what she's doing. Rachael and Imp aren't the sort to really care either way. And without Tattletale (which I think was one of the best things of this story - Tattetale would change the dynamic a lot), she finds herself interacting a lot with and bouncing ideas off Lung. There's certainly none of that superbestfriends stuff in this team. The Undersiders were generally happy to follow Taylor because they either didn't really care or were close enough Taylor to support her. Definitely not the case in this story and instead of growing bonds within the team, the role Taylor plays seems to just destroy most of the ones she had.

Also loving all the younger versions of characters from the series - the villains, the heroes and Taylor's parents as well as some of the new characters which have appeared.

Some of my favourite quotes by other people on Weaver:

Spoiler

Lung: “You remind me of Marquis. And of Teacher.” I reminded him of those psychopaths? “Calm, collected on the outside, you present a façade of control over everything you do and everyone around you. You think yourselves so smart. But I see past that. On the inside burns a fire, a savagery unmatched and unseen by all. Me? I can see it in your eyes, the raw burning to take and take all you can. You are not one to compromise, Skitter. We set terms, and you will stretch them to their limits, take from me to strengthen yourself. No… no compromise.”

Canary: “I’ve listened to you this past week. You’re charismatic, a powerful speaker. Do you think I haven't noticed, considering my powers? It’s the little things, things people usually don’t pick up on. Like whenever you’re saying something important or convincing, a crux of an argument, you use a lower intonation so they have to strain to hear you, which you use to make them listen. You have a silver tongue, Weaver. Which is why I can’t let you near her.”

Golem:
He turned his gaze back to the ground floor to Lung who was grappling with one of the more troublesome dogs. “Your pattern has changed. I told you before, back when Jack and his army emerged, that I felt like the true Weaver was finally waking up. Feeding on the conflict your nemesis brought. But now… you’re angry; like, really angry. You’re not just awake; you’re riled up. Most people wouldn’t be able to tell with the way you internalize things, but we’ve been teammates for two years. And I’ve picked up on some of your ticks. Tiny bugs buzzing in the background. Using words with violent connotations. You’re being confrontational and reckless, just like Lung.”

“Calculated recklessness,” I assured him. I couldn’t quite shake the feeling of déjà vu in that statement. “This is what it takes to win when Jack isn’t throwing his troops away like cannon fodder. This is what it takes to win back a city.”

“That’s not very reassuring,” Golem replied, a fist clenching. “I’m not here to just win. I’m here to help people, the innocents in all of this. I’m concerned about you. This focus on winning and losing is what villains do, people like my father and Lung. Cuff mentioned that you’ve been having private conversations with Lung. Just what exactly have you two been talking about?”

But yeah, overall highly recommend.

 

@Jarik - I'll give it another shot, then. Truthfully, it was one of the first ones I tried, and it wasn't sharp in my mind when I wrote that review. Given how well our tastes have matched up based on previous posts, I'm in for another try.

Dragon Unbound is also going on the list, if only because I feel really drawn to post-epilogue fics and there are like two of them. Anyone know any other decent ones? I read Zenith and liked it.

 

I think I would enjoy this story more if not for the fact that the author is a massive Lungs/Weaver shipper. It makes every interaction between Weaver and Lungs to feel incredibly forced. Such as her bouncing ideas off of Lungs. It doesn't feel like a desperate action taken by Weaver because of the lack of Tattletale, it feels like a reason to start the shipping.

 

I don't understand the idea behind Lung/Weaver. I mean, the guy is a villain, through and through. He's pretty awesome in terms of characterization, sure, but it's kind of funny to see people push him onto the protag like that while simultaneously demonizing the likes of Armsmaster and Alexandria. Hell, Lung is far, far worse than Shadow Stalker, and she's practically the fandom's favourite whipping girl.