Title: Undead Secrets
Author: BitterIcing
Genre: Independent
Summary: Alternate Universe. Neville is the Boy Who Lived and Harry is a quiet boy of 17 years, nothing special right? Just a shy, unpopluar kid right? Wrong. Harry's got a secret, a secret that sticks him right in the middle of a war.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3258545/1/Undead_Secrets

Pretty much Harry got bit by a vampire as a kid but didn't get turned into one. As he grows up he starts killing them off and ends up with the order eventually.

*Shrugs*

Its different and decently written.

That is one hell of a downside IMO.

 

I thought Bond was MI-6?

 

Get out. Now.

Harry/Snape should be an automatic fail.

 

There's a reason I put it in barely readable, rather than For Review. Personally, I can ignore pairings altogether, and so this is for those who can do the same. If you can't stand slash, fair enough, that's why I put the warning.

 

JKR's "Dumbledore is gay" thing kinda surprised me, simply because homosexuality wouldn't be very socially acceptable in the world she set up. I mean, the morality seems to be fairly close to Victorian England, (The phrase, 'Scarlet Woman' is from that era, IIRC) which means that it wouldn't be at all accepted. Bastard children would have a hard time, too.

I don't like slash because it's waaaay too OOC for my taste.

 

Something to pass the time. Classical DrT effort.

A decent beginning to a Slytherin!Harry fic, looks like it's heading for H/Daphne at the moment. Short chapters.

The only new H/C fic I've found in ages. Quite interesting, but follows canon a bit to closely IMO.

 

This isn't good enough, nor long enough for DLP, but it's a good way to kill a few minutes. I think all writers have a few plot bunnies that we don't know what to do with. Here's Laume's file of one-shots from her plot bunnies:

Plot Bunny Storage » reviews Basically a place to store the short little plot bunnies that hop into my mind, especially late at night. Placing them here will hopefully keep them containedHarry Potter - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 9 - Words: 11,444 - Reviews: 201 - Updated: 12-31-07 - Published: 9-17-07

 

I just dug into this one to pass the time. I suppose this is the sort of thing ripe for this thread, but for me it leaned closer to the 'barely readable' side than the 'almost good' side. Big bonus points to the author for basically finishing the fic before posting, thus she can post a new chapter nearly everyday. The final chapter isn't up yet but will be soon (35 of the 36 are up). I'll tell you right now, the first four years are basically canon. Not a drop of ingenuity or originality in any plotlines. But a nice little twist at the end of fourth year sucked me in and had me interested. And then such a quick clean wrap up of Voldemort. It was admittedly a letdown to me at how uninteresting and anticlimactic Voldemort went down.

I lasted one whole chapter after that point, giving up at the end of Chapter 24. Knowing there's still a dozen chapters left, I suspect there won't be a single redeeming moment in the rest of the fic. Frankly I'd rather read go read some graphic mpreg than the whiny shit-filled angst, romance, and broken fucky pussy-ass bitch Harry that's bound to follow from here on out.

So, in summary for those with a mild interest in a (practically) completed fic that's generated a fair amount of interest and reviews in a short time, I'll summarize it for you: Cliched Harry abuse meets four years of canon summarized in a few chapters. Cliched Azkaban plot line where Harry gains knowledge from his link to Voldemort. A final battle that takes about a paragraph with a horribly uninteresting 'reveal' scene. And what I suspect to be an extremely cliched and typical 'healing Harry' storyline about how he needs to feel love, to belong to the wizarding world, to understand his parents wanted him to live and be happy culminating in him accepting the love only Ginny and all the rest of the weasels can offer and returning it to her. Snape and Draco will most likely become characters worthy of respect and understanding and eventually Harry will basically forgive everything bad anyone's ever done to him. The end. Now let's go smother some babies.

Admittedly, everything after the final battle is merely my expectations. The story has offered barely anything original, and all the main plot points have been done hundreds of times before.

That said, the writing is a very simple clear style. Few if any spelling or grammar mistakes. And finishing a lengthy story is something somewhat rare. Still, 2/5 is about the most I'd give such a standard and unoriginal storyline.

Frankly, if you like this kind of fic, you should get put on DLP probation.

 

No, you are right: Draco teaching Harry politics, finances, pushing him towards Ginny; Snape concerned about Harry and detentions that follows his heroics or disobedience, with Harry swallowing all this shit. All wizarding world concerned about his health of course.

Ginny immediately falls in love with Harry as soon as plain, poor, muggleborn, boring Mark Twist becomes rich, powerful (however too pussified to use any of his power and knowledge - for fuck's sake, the stupid idiot is even afraid to fly like Voldemort, because it "reminds him about the Dark Lord") influential and handsome Harry Potter (which confirms that she is a fucking whore and gold-digging bitch)

Harry afraid to have a girlfriend, because he saw that Voldemort once raped a woman and he is "afraid that he will hurt Ginny". All this shit is listened patiently by Snape and Draco, and they, of course will help him to "heal and adjust"

I don't even want to start about that "forcing Harry to slavery to save him" shit. I would fry the bastards in Harry's place, instead to comply like a stupid sheep.

P.S. And lets mention in the conclusion about actions taken by Harry after defeating Voldemort: the stupid idiot is working in diner cleaning tables - with all the skill and knowledge of Lord Voldemort at his command. I wanted to scream at the author in that moment. Of course he doesn't even carry a wand when he is captured.

1/5

 

Damn, that was certainly something I did NOT need to know. I stopped reading after chapter 20 or so. Turns out that was a very smart decision indeed.

 

*snort* I scan FFN at least once a day for new stories, and the summary was enough to turn me off.

 

I've seriously never seen a HP fic go that bad that fast. Up until Voldemort died, it wasn't the most original piece of work but it was interesting and Harry wasn't a total retard. Actually, he showed a pretty good amount of independence.

Then within the space of three chapters he's been kidnapped, made Snape's slave (literally) and forced back to Hogwarts. And he comes to thank his owner and Dumbledore for forcing him back to the wizarding world, enslaving him and ripping memories out of his head. If you read the author's previous work they seem to have a creepy obsession with the idea that it's perfectly fine to enslave people and take away their control over their own body "for the greater good". My jaw literally dropped when I read it, at the idea that someone could be that delusional. Honestly, reading some Draco/Harry Veela mate mpreg stories would be far less disturbing.

 

WHAT?!!!!

http://fc02.devianta******/fs4/i/2004/267/e/3/Snape_x_Harry_for_Ellandan_by_chi1986.jpg

Kudos to Deviantart.

Oh, I and just had to find Ron/Hermione in the same pile as Harry/Snape, didn't I?

 

...Why is Harry's hair a fairly light brown in that picture?

 

This looks decent from the description, and the author's solid grasp of grammar, spelling, and characterization will even mislead you into thinking that this is any good. I wasn't too suspicious of the fic until the (uber long) third chapter, then I read the author's profile's bit on the fic and came across this little gem of a quote.

The second clue I had was that there was no real action until the 20th chapter or so, and that was a fucking dueling tournament in Hogwarts. Oh, and the new spells were multi-syllabic, and almost less effective than the canon ones.

 

Yes there are plenty of readers who would fall into the trap of thinking this fic was interesting and any good. Not that it is badly written or garbage per say, but that it isn't horribly dry and boring.

 

That picture is just wrong on so many levels...

Absolutely true. It started out as a decent smart/sneaky!Harry after Voldemort died in a ridiculously lame duel it went to total shit. I mean seriously why the hell would he let himself be enslaved when he is shown to be one of the most powerful people on the planet. Ugh fics that go like this just disgust me.

 

I have a couple that I've been enjoying. I don't think they're DLP material, but they're fun, anyway.

The Hardest Riddle » reviews Harry acquires the ability to travel dimensions, gathering training and skills so he can eventually defeat Voldemort. Independent Harry, Manipulative Dumbledore, eventual HPGW. No slash.Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Adventure/General - Chapters: 37 - Words: 105,164 - Reviews: 869 - Updated: 1-7-08 - Published: 10-12-07

Honestly? Harry Potter: The Lone Traveller was better. It's the same sort of Quantum Leapish story. But it's well written and amusing. I especially liked the idea of "The Great Scrap Heap."

Heir of Slytherin » reviews Voldemort needs to find a worthy Heir in order to assume the title of Lord Slytherin. Fortunately, he planned ahead, and his grandson Harry Potter is the perfect candidate. Sort of Severitus. Rating is for Sirius' pottymouth. No pairings.Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 54,013 - Reviews: 1130 - Updated: 2-8-08 - Published: 4-21-06

Any fic that has Voldemort suddenly becoming fatherly is usually a big squick for me. This one, well, he doesn't, but he has a damn good reason for claiming Harry. It's fairly well-written and one of the more original that I've seen. I wouldn't submit it for review, but I think it fits in here. (And no, it's not a 'Luke, I am your father' kind of story...)

 

Did a quick search and didn't find this anywhere.

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This has got to be the worst HP/SW crossover I have ever had the misfortune to read. It has taken some of the best plots from all the HP/SW crossover and made them into something that is barely readable.

The author has rushed the writing, added no details to the characters, and has a sub-par writing style at best. All of this blends together into something that just make you wonder why some people publish their stuff on-line.

 

This one's not even DLP trash bin worthy. But I know some members like Viridian's Nightmares of Futures Past and this reminds me of that one.

Yes, it is Harry/Ginny. Super-trio of Harry and the last two Weasleys go back in time to do it right. It'd be easy to hate on the way too oft-repeated "always and always" in this fic, but the closet romantic in me thinks it's done pretty well.

Spelling, grammar, writing style are all quite good. And the volume, 26 chapters 150K+ words in just over a month is mighty impressive. Some very interesting and original ideas too, with a less predictable and more complicated plot than the millions of other fics doing this same sort of generic redo story.

But the plot just couldn't capture me. I know its good, and if I were less prejudiced or if I were new to fanfic, I'd probably think this is great. But I still had to skim and just jump around the chapters because reading it properly didn't interest me in the slightest.

Basically, exactly how I feel about S'Tarkan/Viridian's NoFP story.