Umm, first thigns first, I think unsung hero is actually in the library and was recieved quite well, I know I like it.

And next I come with a fic.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3001500/3/

Warfare by doRodrigo

After a swift decision and a huge inheritance Harry wage war the muggle way against Voldemort. Now the Dark Tosser is going to learn that muggles can teach wizard something about real power.

Its not bad, its even got some quite interesting and fairly original ideas, like Harry becoming a majority owner of Gringotts and stuff like that.

However the author forgets few quite important things, like guns being illegal in the UK, and having it that his bodyguards (who are all ex-special forces, which for us means they were either SAS or SBS) are all packing 45's. And then advising that they go and get some bigger equipment. Thatw as where I stopped.

Its an ok fic, but there is a certain lack of skill with the way the story flows, and Harry is a bit OOC.

Overall, I'd give it maybe 4 out of 10

 

Sorry, I didn't see the fic looking through the Library, I saw it now that I look for it though. I never said it was bad and I also enjoyed reading it and I thought that it fic the focus of this thread:

Perhaps it wasn't extremly angstsy or fluffy but recently harry's main worry seems to have become hiding his abilities from Hermione and dealing with having a girl friend. Also the characters of James and Lily seem irrationally abusive towards Harry, not signing the permission slip, blaming everything on him, making him wear hand me downs, making hi fly an ancient broom.
These don't seem like the actions of rational and farily well of people such as james and Lilly.

As far a Warfare goes the author dosn't give a good reason for Harry to be at Gringotts in the first place. The strike was original so was Harry's inheritance, at least Harry dosn't simply become heir of multiple families. The author dose violate Potter Law when he makes Harry's relationship with the Goblins influanced by Harry meeting Griphook in his first year. The shoping trip was actually barable until I got to the Versailles Trunk, the most illogical part of it was the cost which was around 5000 compared to the 200k he was quoted for the potions lab I don't see how a trunk with that type of equipment inside of it would cost that amount. IMO the trunk is honestly one of the most annoying cliches around, with trunks like that, why would anybody ever need a house or any building for that matter.

The bit with Charlie was amusing as was the confrontation with Dumbledore while not particularly believable. The Goblin Warders seem to be an original concept.

As for the muggle guards, I suppose they weren't too bad, the way I understood it the guards were going to get additional equipment not guns of a bigger caliber.

A agree that Harry is OOC in the fic

Overall a readable story but not excellent. 5/10

 

I jsut found out that the author's first language is not english, which explains the occassional word order problem and such like. They were taught english in the US which explains the american rather than english.

To me it doesn't matter if the guards were going to get battle axes or bazookas, guns are illegal to carry without a special permit if you are a civilian. I read once that there are like 15 civilians permited to carry guns on them in the UK, and the majority of them are required to carry the gun unloaded, and the ammunition seperately from it. Gun ownership for keeping a gun at home is also rigourously examined. There must be an extremely good reason for it, like you are a member of a rifle or pistol club.

You simply do NOT get unofficial bodyguards carrying guns of anysort.

And I think you mean Bill not Charlie.

 

As far as the guns are concerned British anti firearm legislation came into effect between 1996-1997 so it is possiable that at the of the fic they were still legal. Even if the fire arms are illegal it is entirly possible that the guards are willing to break the law for the substantial payment that they are recieving. Also there is nothing stopping them from being armed when they are on magical properties or in the magical world since this is were they seem to spend most of their time. Its unlikly that the magical world has any law about guns since most members of it don't know what one is.

You are right about Bill though, my mistake

Edit: The author explains the gun situation in latter chapter, weather or not it is a good explaination is another matter. Also he has Harry's guards buy MP5's from a shop in London, that's totally irrational no matter what the law is.

 

After struggling to decipher what you actually said, I think I got the gist of it. But you know what? We don't know shit about James and Lily except for biased opinions from their best friends and James' worst enemy. All the evidence that we have for their personalities wouldn't fly in an airplane. To me, James and Lily are OC's. The only thing that we definitely know about them are their physical appearances and that Lily's wand was good for charms, James' for transfiguration and James was an Animagus. So authors can write them however they want, in my book, because they are blank slates.

 

^I agree that there is alot that we don't know about these two characters. However what we do know can tell us some of the basics.

We know that both were Head Boy and Girl, this is a position with the responsibily to keep the students in line and assign some sort of punnishment, they would not have been selected for these possitions if they hadn't had some how shown some key traits, impartiality would definetly have been among them. We see in the books that the Prefects can sometimes not be the best choices but I don't think that its logical that both the head boy and girl would be rotten people.

Both fought for the order of the Pheonix, this tells us that they are conserned with doing the right thing, they could have easily gone into hiding and ignored the rest of the world since from the books we know that they had the financial resources to do just that.

We know that Lily disaproved of James's behavior in school, his flaunting his popularity etc... I doubt that she would allow similar behavior to exist within her own household.

I understand that they are both human beings and are enitiled to make mistakes in the way that they raise their children, however I doubt that they are the type of people to deliberatly favor one child to the other. The way that they treat Harry in the fic is just short of malicious, many of their actions simply cross the line from subconscious and unintentional favoritism.

 

Okay...let me say this:

1) James and Lily were Head Boy/Girl in their day. Okay...Ronald fucking Weasley was a Prefect, so it really doesn't say much. Knowing JKR, he'll probably end up as Head Boy too, while Harry dies and 'meets' his parents again. Or so the Mirror of Erised would have us believe.

2) Both fought for the OotP. Okay...Snape is in the Order. Not to say that James and Lily were trash, but if somenoe like Mundungus can be an Order member, and a fucking squib can be an Order member (Arabella Figg) it obviously isn't all that exclusive. They're willing to take in anyone who volunteers. And since Arabella Figg is part of the 'old crowd' mentioned in GoF, we know that she was already a member, and didn't exist for the sole purpose of minding Harry as a kid.

EDIT: Mundungus is also a part of the old crowd, He was introduced in Book 4, and the guy is a scumbag. For crying out loud, he tried to needle money out of the Ministry claiming that his destroyed tent was damned expensive. If the OotP can take the scum of the earth in, it stands to reason that it shouldn't be used as the Golden Standard for what the Light Side is. Mundungus is the sort of guy who is more comfortable in Koncturn Alley than in Hogwarts.

3) Lily would not have allowed behavior similar to James' to exist in her household: No...Petunia is an absolutely stellar example of how Lily's enforcement of family discipline worked out...

That said, I cannot view James and Lily as anything except pure, intelligent people who might have had some problems with childishness/immaturity in the past. Who doesn't? Still, as the parents of the protagonist, the tendency is to treat them as the ideal parents, loving, supportive, intelligent, generous...you get my drift.

 

To me, James and Lilly are basically just names. We know their past, but thats no indication of what they would be like when they were grown up.

It would make sense to me that Lilly is somewhat like Petunia in her attitude. Very pernickety and opinionated.

As for being Head Boy and Head Girl, I think that that post is basically given to those who have the highest mark, or show the greatest promise. I sincerely doubt that anyone in their right minds would expect James Potter, stuck up prankster extrodanaire, to make a fair and impartial Head Boy. However, IMO, to make a good prankster you would need a decent brain, showing that if he applied himself he may well manage to get top marks.

Lilly, we know even less about her than we do about James. To me she seemed, in that Pensieve memory in OotP, to be a bit like Hermione is portrayed in a lot of indi!Harry fics, a stuck up prissy bitch with her head stuck in the cloud rather than in the real world.

but thats all just my opinion.

 

I think Yarrgh! covered alot of what I would have wanted to say, but on the Head Boy/Head Girl issue:

1. I may have taken this from fanon, but didn't we hear somewhere that part of the reason James was given Head Boy was because they thought it would temper him? That doesn't really say much on his character at the end of Book 6.

2. The best candidates for Head Boy and Head Girl are people who the other students would listen to and go to, not necessarily the ones who are stellar (morally) people. So long as they weren't dark and evil, merely the fact that James was so popular would do a fair amount towards getting him the position if the teachers thought they could control him enough as to not encourage the younger students to break too many rules. If any of you have read Unsung Hero, the author has Harry not become prefect despite him being top of the year since no one knows him or would respect what he says. While that fic obviously under-appreciates Harry, at least that part of it is extremely thought out on the teachers' part.

 

Err... Lord Voldemort was a prefect AND Headboy..

 

but he wasn't necessarily dark and evil back then.

 

What, are you serious? He let the basalik out two years prior and killed Myrtle. Summer after fifth year (possibly sixth, but ...) he went out and murdered his father and grandparents with an Unforgivable. He created a horcrux - supposedly the most evil of evil magical devices before his sixth year. Hell, according to HBP before he even went to Hogwarts he was hanging animals from the ceiling and terrorizing the children around him.

 

He couldn't have murdered his muggle relatives during the holidays, the ministry would have detected the magic use. I would imagine that he killed them either just after his 17th birthday, or immediately after his 7th year.

 

No, I'm pretty sure he killed his father and grandparents the summer after his fifth year. FFS...if he can make a Horcrux, i'm sure he's smart enough to get past the Ministry Detection. Or, its just a plot-hole, but I remember that he did it in the summer after his fifth year.

 

Mordecai: As much as I would recommend you re-reading the books, and, you know, highlighting all the parts where Dumbledore and Diary Tom explain to Harry all the evil things Voldemort did before he even managed to leave Hogwarts, I'll be nice and simply give you a link to HP Lexicon's index on Voldemort.

 

Athenia, you may wish to try and correct your attitude. I don't object to being corrected, but I object to being insulted by a person who has been on the forum for a mere 3 or so months.

I simply pointed out, that according to canon, no underage wizard is allowed to do magic outside of school. Going by this, Riddle would not have been able to kill his muggle relatives.

He may have been on the path to evil in school, but on the path is not the same as being evil.

I maintain my point that the Headboy Headgirl positions are most likely given to those who earn them through grades, rather than anything else.

 

Tom Riddle was made head boy but many of the crimes that he commited were not attributed to him at the time. The majority of people didn't see him as the person that he would latter become.

 

You should remember that Tom Riddle was popular. No one outside the Order of the Phoenix seems to connect the Headboy who was respected and listened to despite being a half-blood with Voldemort only because he hid it from all but his starting followers. And he did have followers in school. Of course he could have made haedboy by removing the compeition. Speaking of which that would be an aswome idea for someone to work out. An alternate sixth year where Ron, after realizing that he's squandered his fifth year sets up a plan to discredit the other male prefects and make himself as the optimal choice for the headboy badge.

 

Why the fuck would anyone want to read a story about Ron?

And Mordecai, you're just wrong. He was doing evil things since his pre-hogwarts years. He set the basalisk loose in his fifth year, it clearly states he killed his father at 16 in canon. He created a horcrux at 16, and Dumbledore knew all along that Riddle was a messed up kid. And there are obviously ways around the ministry detection for underage magic, as Petunia mentions Lily doing magic during the holidays. There is nothing to suggest in canon that any position of power in Hogwarts is actually worth anything. Look at the DADA teachers for fucks sake. Look at Snape, if he acted like that in a regular organized school system he'd be placed on probation immediately, and they would probably end up firing him if he didn't stop.

 

Rowling has stated that Petunia was exagerating when she mentioned Lily doing magic during the holidays. She says that it isimpossible to get around the ministry detection charm. At least, thats how I remember reading that interview.