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Almost Recommended VI

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by Dark Minion, Feb 9, 2013.

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  1. NTD

    NTD High Inquisitor

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    I wouldn't be so critical of it. Admittedly The massive difference 200,000 words makes in writing ability means the beginning is utter shit and the later chapters well aren't.

    This was easy to get through the early chapters because the author was pretty up front with what they were going to subject us to and none of the huge cliches were horribly bothersome, if at all. Plus 300K and it's really starting to take off now.

    Now that I think about it the best parts were the scenes with Harry and Dumbledore as well as Daphne and Harry.
    So with Dumbledore dead I hope they can keep my interest at least.

    Still, having read it I wouldn't recommend it unless it met someones search criteria.
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2014
  2. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    I hadn't kept up with The Legacy, and I'm still convinced I skipped entire chapters in the middle somewhere and don't feel like I'm missing anything, but ... wow, that sure came out of the left field, didn't it?

    Crazy!Draco, Voldemort ruling ... it got more interesting in one chapter than the entire rest so far combined. Whatever I expected, it wasn't that. Add to that the author didn't pull his punches --
    not that I like it, but disfiguring Daphne is certainly not something you'll see in your average story, where per rule of self-insert, Harry must get an uber-gorgeous girlfriend
    -- and I'm almost baffled that the story had it in it. Now if we could get rid of the contract business ... ;)

    The best and worst simultaneously that can be said about the story is that it's readable despite the contract, not because of it. This story, started right at the end of HBP, with a hook to get a situation similar to the one we have now, would be library stuff.
     
  3. SmileOfTheKill

    SmileOfTheKill Magical Amber

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    So what chapters should I skip to get to the interesting parts?
     
  4. deathinapinkboa

    deathinapinkboa Minister of Magic

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    I'd be grateful for this information as well.
     
  5. Nuit

    Nuit Dark Lord

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    Chapters 1 - 31.
     
  6. deathinapinkboa

    deathinapinkboa Minister of Magic

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    [​IMG]
     
  7. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Short answer: chapter 21. However, you probably need to know some brief summary of what's gone before...

    I think you could skip all the chapters prior to the one in which Harry absorbs Voldemort's soul fragment in chapter 21, which essentially invalidates all of the prior characterisation and education.

    The only other things you have to know, leading into chapter 21:

    1. Harry found a book on occlumency in Grimmauld place during the summer after OotP, and used it to start teaching himself a different form of occlumency to that Snape uses.

    2. Daphne had a marriage contract with the Black family, which at the start of the fic means Draco Malfoy. Harry is a distant second. However, she doesn't want to be married to Malfoy because he's a piece of shit, so she persuades Harry to go through some complex legal processes which result him him momentarily being the head of the Black family, placing him in place number one.

    3. Daphne and Harry are on civil terms - just. They are by no means friends. Daphne is self-interested and believes in Pureblood supremacy (but isn't a fanatic).

    4. Harry and Daphne arranged things so that it appeared that Harry had accidentally activated the contract, so everyone thinks they have to get married by accident rather than design. Neville and Bill Weasley helped with this.

    5. Two students have died in apparent accidents: a Slytherin girl and Cormac McClaggen.

    6. Harry has developed a talent at "sensing" - the ability to feel magical traces. It is not a very rare talent, but Harry is unusually good at it.

    7. Harry suspects Draco Malfoy of being a Death Eater with a recruitment mission. No one really believes him.

    8. Hermione is depicted as being borderline sociopathic. She had a PoV chapter that was full of fridge horror, but luckily it hasn't been touched back upon.

    9. Harry realised he was a horcrux and has opted to absorb the soul fragment as an alternative to dying. Dumbledore has reluctantly agreed to help. Harry and Dumbledore are allies but not friendly.
     
  8. Odran

    Odran Fourth Champion

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    Hey now, which chapter is this?
     
  9. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The Legacy updated with what is probably the most fillerish of filler chapters ever lol.
     
  10. Odran

    Odran Fourth Champion

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    32 chapters and yet I feel like barely anything has happened.

    296,950 words later Daphne just might be willing to work with Harry and his friends.

    I'm sorry, it's just... will it take another 32 chapters before they become friends perhaps?
     
  11. samkar

    samkar Temporarily Banhammered

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    This story is aimless. I don't even really get this contract angle. First I thought this should result into the usual romance angle in some kind of screwball concept perhaps. But whatever happens now there is nothing both have in common. Daphne is just a cold fish with no redeeming qualities to make a relationship or friendship working. At the moment she is just some different perspective the writer uses to make us guess about what's going on. But that feels pointless to me.
     
  12. Anarchy

    Anarchy Half-Blood Prince DLP Supporter

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    I've been reading it as well, and it's just very, very bland. There are parts where I just want to smack the author and ask what they were thinking, such as why the hell Hermione is so nosy about what's going on in Gringotts - who gives a fuck, seriously? No need to blow it out of proportion for two whole chapters. I've been having to skip pretty much every passage about Harry discovering some innate detail of some magic theory, because I'm not Taure, and it's just outright boring, and happens quite a bit. I don't care about Occlumency at all, and don't want to read 25,000 words about it. The story is still readable, I'm just not sure why anyone would want to. It's about the least exciting thing ever, and just reading the summary is a good reason as to why I've ignored the story up until now.
     
  13. pidl

    pidl Groundskeeper

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    How the fuck can you write 25k words on Occlumency? It's literally just three words:

    Clear. Your. Mind.

    That's it, that's all Occlumency is, no matter what fanon thinks.
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2014
  14. Trig

    Trig Unspeakable

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    This is a fanfiction forum. The whole point of fanfiction is either expanding upon canon or taking it in entirely new directions by changing parts of the original story.

    Yes, many authors go way over board with things like mindscapes, layers, shields and traps, but I still like that they're trying to elaborate. The great thing about the Harry Potter universe is that there's magic. That's worth expanding.

    Clear your mind is as boring and simplified as you can get. It would be really sad if "Clear your mind." is the entirety of Occlumency. That would mean that a swish and flick and an incantation is all there is to a levitation charm.
     
  15. CrackedMind

    CrackedMind Chief Warlock

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    I agree with Trig, but there's characterization and then there's being excessive. Expanding on an idea is all well and good, but you risk becoming boring if you beat an idea to death.
     
  16. redshell

    redshell Order Member

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    Stalking Harry Potter
    Basically it amounts to a story in which Pansy is stalking Harry, for reasons that are explained later. It's relatively short, clocking in at just under 40k words for 4 chapters. It's done, as well.

    Anyway - my recommendation stems from the fact that the story is, in a word, cute. Characters appear to be more or less in character with some allowances made for the vague timeline of this happening somewhere after Harry has killed Voldemort but before he has any children, and has broken up with Ginny. There is something of an AU element to this that helps to explain exactly why Pansy is stalking Harry when you find out exactly what the AU entails.
     
  17. Anarchy

    Anarchy Half-Blood Prince DLP Supporter

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    I want to fix what I posted. I'm halfway through the fic now, and I'd say it's closer to 50k words on Occlumency now. First, there's an infodump on Harry figuring it out for himself. Then there's an infodump on realizing that Snape did know what he was doing, just the technique wasn't right for Harry. Then theres' an infodump on Harry discussing it with Dumbledore. Then there's an infodump on discussing it with Hermione. So we pretty much read the same infodump 3 different times (which is a common trend with every little thing Harry does, first there's self discovery, then the meeting with Dumbledore, then Hermione grilling him). The sad part is, at where I'm at in the story right now, there's literally been zero need for Occlumency at all, especially since he's realize that Voldemort has 40 years of experience on him in the art, so it's pretty much just wasted words, like pretty much the rest of the story.
     
  18. Baradine

    Baradine Seventh Year

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    I have little else to add except for another recommendation. A humorous and well put together piece.
     
  19. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Ugh. First chapter was ok, except for all the blatant americanisms and such, but then a wild ANGST appeared, followed by a CONTRIVED PLOT DEVICE and ruined my day.
     
  20. Spyder

    Spyder Third Year

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    Maybe its just the mood I'm in, but after the first 20 or so paragraphs, I just wanted to shove needles in my eyes. No hook from the author, and zero interest from me in continuing to read about how Harry apparently shops for underwear in a secondhand shop - even though the author went into excruciating detail explaining how the underwear itself wasn't secondhand. Now maybe if he was buying a trunk with expansions charms, followed by rare books that the ministry has banned - except for this undiscovered olde bookshoppe in Knockturn... now that's a story! [/sarcasm]
     
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