In Time travel fics, where Harry always heads to the same compartment as he did when he went to Hogwarts first time round

 

Pshh, Harry is far too powerful for a wand. He gets a staff. Made from about seven different woods and about a thousand different cores and a black diamond and runes written all over it in permanent marker.

 

How about having it enchanted by Merlin and founded in a secret comparment in the CoS?

 

Can't forget he's gotta have a phoenix-familiar AND a phoenix animagus form. And he's gotta bang Ginny too.

 

inside of his trunk mansion made of basilisk oak and mithril hinges with runes of indestructability

 

Also, don't forget the portraits of Merlin, James, Lily, Salazar, Gryff, Rowena, Helga, Sirius and Remus teaching him everything. Oh, and the Sorting Hat lives with him.

 

And Salazer is actually misunderstood, and is a proud supporter of Muggle-born wizards/witches. And he want's Moldypant's head on a silver platter to boot.

 

Oh, and if you hate Gryff, Salazar was with a muggle girl and Gryff raped her...and she enjoyed it. That's why he left Hogwarts, not because he hated muggleborns and tried to kill them all with a snake.

 

Salazar also considers harry his true heir and his actual heir a nasty disgusting creature who he wants to help harry destroy voldemort by seeking out the ultimate horcrux Merlin's Penis of awesomeness to the 6th power 4 shizzle

 

If Salazar is not paired up with a muggle, then it is only natural that all the founders are paired up.

Salazar usually getting whoever Gryff doesn't want. Gryffindor is a pimp.

 

And Harry being one of the Horcruxes is a hoax because he has to live after the final battle and has to repopulate the world with more Weasley look-a-likes.

 

I don't have the book at hand, but didn't Sirius allude to that fact with his brother? He said something along the lines of he wasn't important enough to be one of the main Death Eaters, though he was a recruit.

Draco

 

I'm not sure where, but I'm pretty damn sure they do say something about the Inner Circle. I think it's in the fifth, or fourth when they start to talk about Death Eaters and Lucius Malfoy.

 

Yeah, they say "He was a part of You-Know-Who's inner circle."

 

The cliche I hate above all others is when Voldemort is incompetent to such a degree that the pubic hair of Virginia's **** is smarter than he is. How can a Dark Lord be stupid?

Another recent one is sex-god Harry. The guy who has never had 'impure' thoughts before in his life suddenly, wit no 'training', and over night becomes the guy to your brains screwed out by.

 

The best beds are the luxurious four poster beds (of course Hogwarts style).

 

Amazing first-time sex

'Real' wand are not sold at Olivander's and use different cores, which more often then not are the blood of some poor creature.

Animagus!Harry learns this ability in a few months while the Maurauders who are better students take years to master the skill.

Pup, Cub, Pronglett etc... GAH

The DA is an organized fighting force, after the DoM episode I can totally see how they can orchastrate a raid that would put the SAS to shame. note: I have actually read fics in which Harry actually phyiscally bests a bunch of Special Ops guys.

Molly Weasley is not a home maker but has the fighting skills at which top DeathEaters shiver in fear.

Basilik skin anything

 

In indy harry or dark harry, harry always calls dumbledore "old man" or
"that old coot". The man is 150 years old and quite possibly the most powerful wizard of his time both magically and politically .....You may hate him but be respectful same goes for snape. The best way to change the attitude of snape is to slowly take away everything he would use against you and then find a common interest (ie) voldemorts downfall

 

Taken from Potter Law:

 

- Harry wielding Gryffindor sword (it is usually changed into katana) - and he can use it without any training or after minimum of training (something like weak).
- Harry reading and learning faster than Hermione Granger - I like smart!Harry or Intelligent!Harry stories, but for God sake - in canon Potter is... well, not of the brighest bunch of people. He cant read through Hogwarts Library in a month.
- Harry having a six pack after working in the backyard of Privet Drive #4
- Harry creating spells/charms that allow electronics to work in Hogwarts. OK - it is not so bad idea, but creating such a charm in ONE chapter (usually it is just a couple of hours in fiction time) is stupid.