I was just looking around to see if someone else had already posted this here, but Taure beat me to it. Anyway, fairly good writing, and the faults aren't grossly obvious.

I actually thought it was going good on the becoming a dark wizard front, he was being pushed and pulled by the nose into it. If it had stayed like that until he was older it would have been pretty sweet, but it degenerated into "I'm a dark wizard, I wish my parents could except that" at the age of 11. 11 year olds have no idea who or what they are.

4/5 'cause I haven't seen much original content recently, and Quirrel and Lyrian are that if nothing else.

 

I agree with you on everything you said, it was going so good to fail miserably well it didn't fail to bad already still some time left to it up.

2.5/5 from me.

 

Well, I was looking for some good fic to kill time when I saw this story. The writing is very good and the faults is rarely seen.

Same old concept of "Twin Boy Who Lived", but the writing is better then most of the fangirl stories in FF.net. I reallly like the OC characters in this story, Moon and Lyrian add depth to the story. Slytherin Harry is always a plus and any fics that have a possible ship of Slytherin girl (Daphne or Tracey) with Harry is defenitely a win to me.

Too fast for Harry to go dark though, I don't believe that it is possible for an 11 years old child to already start plotting a plan to murder someone. He wasn't even abused by his parents.

4/5 because of (possible) ship and good writing.

 

ok i feel as if this thread deserves to be bumped. Its been updated recently, August 28th of 09. Its definitely the best read i've had in this genre. Its well written and i'm not sure how much of a plot the author has planned out because at the rate he's going harry and his twin will be beacons of dark/light by the time they're going into their 4th/5th year. Both are doing complex magic but they do have their weak points.

 

Wow. I love this fic... Seriously, I think it is so far, hands down the best TWL fic I have ever read. Or for that matter, the best fic I've read in a while...
God/Schrodinger, or 4.5/5

 

It took this guy approximately... oh, one chapter to establish this as the best fic in its category. No caricatures, an interesting situation with the wand, and high quality in writing. The pace, descriptions, dialogue, everything's there.

I'm somewhat annoyed by the random OCs littering the story, the one that attempted to befriend Harry in the train and the wondrously handsome OC in Slytherin. Really? There are dozens of blank-slate canon characters, and someone conjures up an OC? You don't need to make frivolous decisions like that in Harry Potter fanfiction.

Another shortcoming is the dialogue. In general it's fine, but the author falls into the trap of trying too hard to make the Slytherin students (eleven year-old Slytherin students) sound sophisticated. What kind of fag uses "Indeed" in a conversation, after all?

Edit: Oh shit, I accidentally gave a number rating. I meant:



I give this a strong Iliad out of an Odyssey. Recommended for transfer to the library.

 

I tried to read it, but the horrid characterizations of James and Lily just killed it for me. It's a general problem with Twin!BWL fics. They all have to make the Potters into shitty parents who are neglectful if not downright abusive to poor widdle Harrykins so that he can go dark and still maintain some kind of moral high ground. Just have him be a nasty, bitter little shit who's jealous of his famous brother. It's not that hard.

 

Well I think it's been hinted that someone is fucking with Lily's when it comes to her perceptions of Harry, but that's not all that original either.

The big rub I have with this story is that Harry seems far, far too ready to even consider joining Voldemort when he still seems to be clinging to some sort of amicable relationship with his twin brother.

Does Harry not realize that one of them is going to kill the other?

 

More than hinted at. Dumbledore's thoughts in chapter 6 tell us he is responsible. Quote below.

What I don't understand is why Dumbledore doesn't cancel the spell once he realizes it's gotten out of hand. I guess for plot purposes. Unless the damage is done and there's no way to undo it, but I'll wager it gets undone at some point in the story.

 

That's all fine and good, but I don't really care WHY the Potters mistreat Harry. I dislike the fact that it was included at all. It's cliche and not needed. Frankly, the 'Dumbledore did it' explanation amounts to little more than a cheap cop-out.

 

I agree. From the authors viewpoint, once she set out to write this type of story, I imagine she thought her choices were to either have Lily and James out of character for no reason or use a cliche method to get them out of character. Although Dumbledore's reasoning behind casting the spell in the first place is questionable.

Of course, the author could have built up Harry being an outcast subtly over seven years and have him only turn dark later, but I guess she thought that would be to much work. Plus she probably wanted the drama early.

 

I'm not quite sure how Lilly and James are OOC, after all, they aren't even in the books except in short excerpts where James is being a douche.

 

Maybe it's the fact that over and over again we hear how much everyone liked them, except Snape, who only liked one of them.

 

Yeah, but sometimes nice people make fucking horrible parents, and besides, Harry only talks to people who were friends with his parents, so of course they are going to be thought of as nice, especially when you factor in the whole do-not-speak-ill-of-the-dead thing.

 

This story was alright, dark!Harry probably isn't my favourite genre of story. It's pretty hard for an author to to have a dark/evil protagonist that is likeable. I think this story also had some really shitty line when Harry was being sorted, where the Hat was all like 'Oh I'm so dissapointed in Lily + James'. That really drove me nuts. The Hat has probably seen them sparingly, it sorted them when they were 11, and has probably viewed some meetings that were held in Dumbledore's office. Screw you judgemental hat, screw you.

 

see but the thing is though that i found this to easily be the best in its sub-genre. All the other TWL are horrendous with the exception of maybe one. It did aggravate me that he had to go and create new characters despite the numerous players without a background, especially those in Slytherin and early on. But i doubt you'll find a TWL story as good as this for quite some time.

 

I read this story awhile ago, While the beginning was good, and the writing was quite well done i just didn't like the idea that, one, not only did the parents have a 180 on there perception of Harry, but dumbledore just seems...wrong to me. At some points the author makes it as if he needs to somehow brute force his way into Harry becoming dark!Harry while keeping his brother king of the world. While an alright read to pass the time, the seemingly forced nature of the story just doesn't catch me.

3BWL's out of 5.