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WIP Applied Cultural Anthropology by jacobk

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by mknote, Jun 13, 2013.

  1. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage ~ Prestige ~

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    I like this friendship/uneasy alliance/truce between Hermione and the two boys, that there is this fundamental difference between them, where they are unable to truly understand the other.
     
  2. Jarik

    Jarik Chief Warlock

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    Enjoyed this chapter.

    Loved the interaction with Harry and Ron at the end.

    I get the feeling that part of the reason Hermione doesn't see anything wrong with it is because she honestly doesn't give a shit about Quidditch. For her, Quidditch is just some stupid activity that happens to win the house points, something she does care about. She doesn't really see any splendor in Quidditch skill anyway, so wouldn't really acknowledge any of the pride or enjoyment that comes with keeping it clean - it's all within the framework of the rules, so there's nothing wrong with it for her.

    But yeah, love the completely different world views they have and how it causes such hostility, despite the fact they are really tentative friends.

    Thought this exchange was quite foreboding:
    "Hermione, we're your friends. Whatever you want to do, we'll support you. But that doesn't mean we're always going to be interested in the same things."

    For just a moment, Hermione's hand itched with the need to go for her wand. She'd show Blaise just what he was missing out on with his lazy approach to magic. A single application of Dibble's shock spell ought to be fairly persuasive.


    Instead she clenched her hand into a fist and shook her head. It was an almost physical sensation, pushing down that violent urge. Even her best efforts couldn't contain a disdainful snort.


    "Fine."
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2016
  3. Tiberiusnero

    Tiberiusnero Muggle

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    I really liked this chapter largely because of how you showed Hermione's tentative friendship with Harry and Ron. However, I'm curious on how it will grow later on because of their stark differences.
     
  4. Plaster

    Plaster Muggle

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    Was anyone else confused about the result of the Quidditch match? The last chapter clearly states that "he (Harry) came in for a shuddering landing with the snitch clutched in his hand" but this chapter has Slytherin victorious. And judging by the interaction between Ron and Hermione, it seems like the animosity caused by the loss could be a plot point later on. That's a pretty sloppy error.
     
  5. Eidolonic

    Eidolonic Supreme Mugwump

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    I haven't read the chapter, but it's entirely possible Harry caught the snitch, but Slytherin still won, similar to the World Cup.
     
  6. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Did you even read chapter 14? The whole point of it was that Slytherin won, but Harry caught the snitch.
     
  7. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    So I mulled over the latest chapter and decided I liked the parts with Hermione being Slytherin. I read diary-Riddle's influence here. It took a while, but this slow burn change starts shining. That was good.

    The Occlumency portions kinda bored me, to be honest. Skimmed a lot there. It's progressing, I guess. Okay.

    Overall, I would have hoped for something more engaging in an update after a long break. On that point, I think the update was weaker than it could and should have been.
     
  8. Plaster

    Plaster Muggle

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    Yeah I only remembered the last part of the match, not the actual result. My bad.
     
  9. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I still think that Hermione's boggart was the best part about this story so far. It was done just so perfectly.
     
  10. The Iron Rose

    The Iron Rose Chief Warlock

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    Wait, remind me? I've completely forgotten that part.
     
  11. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    It's Tom Riddle. He appears, then says something along the likes of "What a perfect start to the year Hermione, I can't think of a thing I'd of done differently"

    That combined with the recent events is just perfect psychological fuckery.
     
  12. The Iron Rose

    The Iron Rose Chief Warlock

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    Right! Man, that was really well done, I can't believe I had forgotten that.
     
  13. RoninSword

    RoninSword Squib

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    Completely forgot this story existed and had been updated since the last time I looked at it. Can't wait to re-read it. Enjoyed what little I remember of it so far.
     
  14. friedmann

    friedmann Squib

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    I find it interesting how a more ambitious and much more manipulative, but still mostly good-at-heart Hermione is portrayed.

    Regarding the behaviour of the diary-horcrux (discussed earlier in the thread and quite a long time ago...) I don't think that it's unreasonable that a) the horcrux would value Hermione more as a potential future follower than as someone from whom it could drain their soul and b) the school-days Tom would be (slightly) less of a merciless monster and could be reluctant to sacrifice someone whom he liked.
     
  15. Quiddity

    Quiddity Squib ~ Prestige ~

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    Updated.

    /10char

    Edit: Not much really happened in this chapter. A few developments, but not enough to devote 8000 words to.
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2016
  16. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage ~ Prestige ~

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    Yeah, still, I enjoyed the later parts of the chapter. the scene with Justin was pretty solid and every interaction with Riddle so far has been a delight.

    I do agree though, wish there had been more or that it had been longer at least.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2016
  17. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage ~ Prestige ~

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    New chapter, with lots of little developments. Quite liked it, especially the nod towards Monty Python.
     
  18. Quiddity

    Quiddity Squib ~ Prestige ~

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    Maybe it's the gap, but I don't remember Snape and her having such an antagonistic classroom relationship. Seems like some Harry habits coming through.

    The Draco debrief/training felt weird as well. Too much of a ramp up, and Draco was too comfortable with it.

    Not sure why Hermione is being blamed by the Gryffindors (how do they know?) but I suspect we'll get clarification on that.


    Decent-ish update. I just wish jacobk would move a faster through a year which has so little plot. I get that there are character conflicts and story, but it all feels very slow and filler-y.
     
  19. JErosion

    JErosion DA Member

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    Yeah, the last couple of chapters have slowed the story down compared to the brisk pace of the previous chapter before the break he took. I don't think Hermione got cursed because they knew, it was because she is a Slytherin, unless the person who cursed her was Ron, which it would be him blaming her for 'ruining' the game
     
  20. PWIZDUO

    PWIZDUO Fourth Year

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    Mostly filler these last few chapters but the fact that we've had a couple in such little time makes believe there's something on the horizon.