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Archer by TakatoRikku - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by The Mysterious Nobody, Aug 8, 2007.

  1. The Mysterious Nobody

    The Mysterious Nobody Auror

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2007
    Messages:
    615
    Title: Archer
    Author: TakatoRikku
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure
    DLP Category: General/Independent Harry (i'm not sure on which one would fit better)
    Pairing: Harry/OC (or at least that's what the story suggested)
    Status: Work in Progress
    Summary: It's the summer of Harry's fourth year, going into year five. When Uncle Vernon freaks out on him for hiding in the bushes for listening to the news, Harry books it and lands up at Number 2 for a surprise. No paring yet
    Link: FF.net

    Well, I posted this because I fiund the basic idea amusing and surprisingly entertaining. Maybe it's not one of those works of art out there but it's fairly well written and at least it's something new to look at. It's not Dark!Harry and the last chapter was a bit off for my tastes but here it is. At least it's an entertaining lecture.

    3/5
     
  2. SmileOfTheKill

    SmileOfTheKill Magical Amber

    Joined:
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    1,146
    Location:
    Florida, Sigh...
  3. The Mysterious Nobody

    The Mysterious Nobody Auror

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    Maybe you're right, although I posted it here because I think it has some potential and it can improve over time. Besides, it's just my view. Maybe others will like it more or less.

    Anyway, thanks for the suggestion. I'll have it in mind next time.
     
  4. LogrusMage

    LogrusMage Supreme Mugwump

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    Meh, interesting idea. At least it didn't have elves... ::shudder::. It was entertaining I suppose.

    What's with naming the OC after a phone company? Bleh. I don't like the lack of magic too.

    2.6/5... I'll round that to a 3/5 if the author puts some magic back into the story.
     
  5. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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  6. Kento

    Kento Guest

    i thought it was pretty good I give it a 4/5
     
  7. Kyp's Avenger

    Kyp's Avenger Fourth Year

    Joined:
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    USA
    The writing is okay, a few errors here and there, but I just didn't want to keep reading past the first chapter. I think I'm getting pickier in my old age or something.
     
  8. LogrusMage

    LogrusMage Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
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    The tired old age of... 19?
     
  9. Kyp's Avenger

    Kyp's Avenger Fourth Year

    Joined:
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    Location:
    USA
    You know it.
     
  10. Myst

    Myst Headmaster

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2006
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    Location:
    Ahoskie, NC
    This fic had Harry shooting Patronus!Arrows. Thats just lame.

    Then you got the Harry/Muggle!OC

    Need I mention that its looking like Sirius/Muggle!OC too?

    Bleh. 3/5
     
  11. Lucullus

    Lucullus High Inquisitor

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    I'm not sure if I can even see a plot to this fic. It just has Harry taking up archery and, *gasp*, finding out a bow can be as useful a weapon as a wand, so much so that he'd rather forgo his wand in times of need. :rolleyes:

    The Harry-as-an-archer idea is original, and the author obviously knows at least a little about bows and archery, so I'll give him kudos for that, but the execution is poor. Grammatical mistakes here and there, and most importantly the lack of a plot let it down.

    While I would agree that Harry's bow could act as a backup weapon, the idea that it can replace a wand is totally ludicrous to me. Any decent wizard could easily cast a Shield Charm before Harry could even draw back the bowstring. Not to mention this will probably degenerate into Harry teaching his friends archery, and thereon it seems we will have a bunch of youths using the Power of Archery to strike back against Voldemort and his Death Eaters, if Harry's Patroni-Arrows are any indication of things to come.

    3/5 I will continue to read this if there are nothing else, but I don't think its good enough for the Library.
     
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2007
  12. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    I agree. Archery would be a nice plot point to incorporate into a fic, but to let it dominate the story... no, not DLP library worthy.
     
  13. Marie M

    Marie M Raptured to Hell

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2007
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    349
    Not worthy of dlp library, it was normal and deserves to go to trash bin.
    3/5
     
  14. Iztiak

    Iztiak Heir

    Joined:
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    2,732
    Location:
    India
    Well.........the bow being used was a good Idea, but letting it become the main focus of the story is irritating. It should have been a sideline.
    Good-
    Original idea
    Eh, the grammar was decent I suppose.....
    Um.. there's not much else that is noteworthy, that that I can think of anyway

    Bad-
    Muggle OC Girlfriend.
    Magic being set to the side in favor of archery.
    Harry becoming a archery champ in like a week.
    Patronus arrows?!?! Wtf?
    Everything goes waaaay too fast. It's like he crammed 9 chapters of material into 1-2.
    People can read for themselves, so I'm not going to list more.


    Overall? Not DLP worthy. 2/5
    It was a good idea, just badly executed.
     
  15. Zulu

    Zulu Guest

    For some reason I couldn't get the story of Eragon out of my head while reading this. I kept on expecting a little dragon to suddenly appear and give sagely advice, especially when Harry could cast magic with his arrow. Surprisingly I actually enjoyed the "Harry's OC neighbor who helps him out during the summer" idea but as others said I didn't like how archery took precedence in this fic. The OC girlfriend was also something I could do without. All in all the fic was readable and passably interesting but no where near other works in the DLP library...although it might pass trash bin standards. 3/5
     
  16. thapagan

    thapagan High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2006
    Messages:
    577
    Well it gets high points for "being different".
    But It has many flaws, some that can be fixed, others....

    I don't think this story will be a DLP favorite.

    I will vote later, maybe, if the author updates and we find out if there is going to be a plot or something.
     
  17. The Mysterious Nobody

    The Mysterious Nobody Auror

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    The guy just updated... ...and it went even more downhill. Man, when I posted this I just hoped for this to be straightened up a bit and improve, for it was an original idea, not to go down south chapter after chapter...

    This update was bad. Really quite bad. And not in a "bad meaning good" way. I meant really really bad. Sucked balls.
     
  18. Wergan

    Wergan Third Year

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2007
    Messages:
    82
    It was bad as in crap on a bun (aka McDonald's but I'll save that argument for another day). Honestly it was a, no body likes my story so I'm going to make Harry completely forget everything about anything and have him go insane in the middle of a conversation, bad.
     
  19. Lucullus

    Lucullus High Inquisitor

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    This story has finally gone to the dogs. Can't say I didn't see this happening though. But allow me to rant on something.

    Is Harry too idiotic to realise in the time he took to unzip his damn bowbag, take his bow out, unfold it, notch an arrow and fire, he could draw his wand out and Cruciate Dolores to the brink of insanity.

    Or that he could draw his wand and cast "Alohomora", then proceed to stun or bind Dolores if he wants to in a fraction of that time. No, but the moron just has to use his goddamn bow. Idiot.

    For that matter, is Umbridge that useless a witch that she couldn't have overpowered an essentially harmless Harry long before he could ready up his bow?
     
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2007