Obviously I would chose to answer Inq's
Crescents are not real - they are just a figment of your imagination.

Why are there 15 days in a french fortnight? (Always wanted to know the answer)

 

because 2 * 2 = 4 + 3 - -9 / √6 + y = x

Obviously

When a smurf and a dwarf make love, what kind of love-baby will they have?

 

uhh I dunno.. but I don't think that baby's gonna win any beauty contests

How many keys on a keyboard?

 

a 104, but it depends if you have some added buttons like volume or email or maybe a my home page button or other useless keys you'd rarely use anyway.

How many trees does it take to make a forrest?

 

Such a silly question! Everyone knows that is isn't the number of trees you got, it's the number of birds you got living in them.
Big birds=forrest.
Small birds=small forrest.
No birds=No forrest baby.
pow wow chika pow!

Why is mayonnaise so goddamn fattening?!

 

Jesus ate a fish while he fucked a group of nuns in their cave. They were there because he decided to screw them.


How many people can fit into a telephone box?

 

As many as you goddamn want. Wanna fit a hundred in there? Then you bloody well do that. Don't let any telephone box tell you any different!

Who the hell were the Vikings?!

 

The ancestors of DLP members.

If you expect the unexpected, wouldn't the unexpected be expected?

 

Only on Wednesday mornings.

Why was 6 really afraid of 7?

 

6 has never been afriad of 7. In fact, 7 is afraid of 6 because 6 killed 77 and 777, who are 7's parents.

Why did 6 kill 7's parents?

 

so 7 would be afraid of him... and because 6 is evil, in fact, 6 is the guardian to the first gate of hell.

what did 7 do after he found out he was an orphan?

 

Condemn all number 6's to hell, because number 7 was indeed a great and powerful wizard.

Why does number 6 enjoy guarding Hell, and being evil?

 

um........9?

why does 7 get to be a great and powerful wizard?

 

Cause he stole one of Marios mushrooms then Fire plants!11!!

If toodles and foodles sat with a poodle. What are Hoodles and shoodles doing?

 

Drowning them there perhaps.

Is a 9 a clone of Surrain who was turned 180°?

 

Jon can't just be turned 180, his greatness is such, that once he starts moving, he nevah stops! (Until you tell him to sit his ass down and work on Veneficus that is.)

Why is Jello so good?

 

Because it contains:

• gelatin
• water
• sugar or artificial sweetener and artificial flavors
• food coloring

................yummyy

Why is it that water is always so wet?

 

Because its suppose to be.

IF driving and drinking is against the law, why do all the bars have parking lots?