From the oil tree just North of here. I thought everyone knew that.

Why is this tree North of here and not South of here?

 

Because it doesn't like all those spiders staring at it.

Why are there so many spiders in your dwelling?

 

... if you're talking about the dwelling I think you're talking about, then sorry to disappoint..but there are no spiders here.

Were you talking about the dwelling I thought you were thinking of?

 

I thought he was talking about the caves on Spiradon.

Why is cricket so entertainingly dull?

 

*wide eyed blink*, sorry if you took that to offence, Skittles.

Because It is better than watching cretins run around with a ball for 90 minuets only for two people to score a goal.

I like spiders. Do you like spiders?

Edit: give a 2nd answer if you truely must, Skittles. (Yes, we all hate the dreaded lag)

 

EDIT: Dango got there 1st.
No I hate spiders.

Why?

EDIT2: my answer/question for Inq's was so much better than this one >_< Stupid lag. STUPID STUPID LAG.

 

You had a poor childhood.

Uh... Why am I on fire?

 

Because Pyro!Harry peed on you and lit a match.

How could you not notice?

 

Because his nerve endings had already been scorched off due to an unfortunate game of "bobbing for onion-rings".
Why am I so goddamn twitchy?

 

Withdrawal from Skittles for over 5mins can make a person twitchy.

How many weeks in a year is a week = 75 days?

 

xion says the answer is four point eight six.

Why couldn't you use your own bloody calculator?

 

'Cause my calculator is in a mood with me since I made it make-out with my ruler in Maths yesterday...

Ehhh...Why did I make my calculator make-out with my ruler in Maths yesterday?

 

Because you asked them to sudduce your Maths teacher.

What do you learn in Maths?

 

The life-style of wandering Hippies.

Now why would they do that?

 

They wander to find stones.

Why do they want to find stones?

 

To round all the stones up and send them to a secret penal colony deep below the earth's surface, to which David Blaine is the leader of. There, they will be forced to fight to the death - in a way not dissimilar to "Battle Royale". The winner shall be given a voucher for 15p off Tesco value batteries. Which the stones will usually trade to the hedgehogs for cocaine. The stones will be totaly wasted and spend the remainder of their life, pissed and shit-faced in a dark sewer.

Why do hedgehogs want the battery vouchers?

 

To power flashlights, so that they may see in the dark, get rather aprehensive, and slaughter small gentlemen.

Why do hedgehogs want to slaughter small gentlemen?

 

Because the gentlemen keep the keys of hell. Once the gentlemen are removed, the hedgehogs will be free to take the keys and in-slave all of humanity. They will create a new world. A world where Bananas are executed for dancing and chickens may cross the road without fear of having their motives questioned.

But since the hedgehogs are not yet in control...

Why do the chickens cross the road??

 

Because they thought that is was really an asphalt path.

What is the difference between a road and an asphalt path?

 

Nobody is allergic to a road, but everyone except chickens are allergic to an asphalt path.

Why are chickens not allergic to asphalt paths?