Not I, for I do not venture near strange penises. It's against my religion.

Is it against yours?

 

I'm not religious, and I've never had a problem with venturing near penises.

Do you have pubic stubble?

 

I will willingly admit to never having shaved. Which makes that a firm and -hyphenated- no.

Was that too much information?

 

Yes it is.

What is my stupid question?

 

That is something you will have to decide for yourself, young one...

Will you all join me on the hyphenated path to enlightenment?

 

I am already on board, and am living in ----HYPHEN---- as we speak. It's quite nice this time of year.

Donde esta el queso?

 

Cheese.

Repetitive, but when did the HBP move to an alternate universe where Snape really is just an evil asshole?

 

It was directly after Deathly Hallows when all hope was lost for this sad canon universe. It was like a time travel fan fic. Everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong, and I went to a different dimension in order to make things right. Or in other words make Snape nothing more than a death eater, spy asshole.

That enough info for ya?

 

No Albus Severus love?

 

Screw Albus Sirius! Evil!LilyHating!Snape FTW.

Why not just have Snape be a Death Eater and name the kid Albus Sirius?

 

Because that would be very wrong.

Would those children be the product of a Snape/Mitch ship?

 

Stop in the name of chicken!

What are my secrate passions?

 

You have none, they are all already known on the forums due to your shameless flirting (does it qualify as flirting?) with the other users.

What shameless, possible flirting, am I speaking of?

 

EDIT: I am way too slow. And you are, of course, implying nothing deathinapinkboa's love of boas.

/me resists urge to pun.

Figure skating.


Fill in the blanks:
Snape and Mitch did _________ to ______________ with ________ joining in.

 

Honey, I assure you that I have no idea what you're talking about...unless it's the dry humping.

It's the dry humping, isn't it?

 

Well dry humping is still saying too little.

Try again?

 

You want him to try the dry humping again? Sounds homoerotic!

 

If you failed the first time, chances are you'll fail again.

Viagra?

 

Let's ask Google...

How would you know of this Viagra, Lorelei?

 

TV.

What would Enoby Dark'ness Dementia do?