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WIP Awaken Sleeper by Water Mage - T - Dresden Files

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Memory King, Apr 15, 2008.

  1. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Either that or HP was using low-end spells to incapacitate, rather than going straight in with the more powerful curses.
     
  2. Vir

    Vir Centauri Ambassador ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    there was a lot of talk about how fast the fae are, but Dresden managed to smack them around just fine.
     
  3. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    That's because he uses wide-area of effect spells like Ventas Servitas and Fuego (and as I recall he has missed on several occasions when using point-and-release spells like Forzare in canon). Or it could just be that he has a good aim? He has fought rampaging werewolves and the likes before, and has specialist knowledge on the Fae so he basically knows what to expect.
     
  4. Chime

    Chime Dark Lord

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    Great chapter... except there were a few glaring grammar errors....

    Now, I can understand in common speech people will make this grammar mistake, but Lily? She's English, I'd expect impeccable grammar from her.

    me and your father ---> "Your father and I"

    Very strange sentence. I get your meaning, but isn't "English" better than "England"? I mean, the reader can understand he's not talking about the language.

    And a few more I should have written down...

    The Harry/Harry interaction felt a little forced at the beginning, and the soul gaze came a little early on, but what's done is done. It's not bad, just a little fast on the pacing.
     
  5. Water Mage

    Water Mage Denarii Host

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    I edited the chapter on ff.net, so its a cleaner version than what's posted on the forums. I'll get to that one later. Aekial and Taure answered the HP and Dresden aim or whatever issue. Which pretty much mirrored my thoughts on the subject.

    The soulgaze might have came early, but I wanted to go the Marcone and Michael approach with Dresden. Both on their first meeting with him got soulgazed. Marcone did it on purpose and Michael insisted on it before he worked with Dresden.

    Elaine saw Harry's soul and focused in on his specific life out of all the possible lives he could live in the fandom. Dresden saw the whole thing at once. It has to do with how he crossed over.
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2009
  6. Torak

    Torak Death Eater

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    Great Update

    The Harry/Dresden interaction was on point
     
  7. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Good chapter, but Harry still feels a bit like a spectator of Dresden in the fights. He is hardly trying at all, and given that his life is on the line, you'd think that he'd put a bit more effort into fighting. Harry, after all, doesn't know about narrative flow and thus, for him, every battle could be his last.
     
  8. Jjf88

    Jjf88 Auror

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    Didn't want to necro for fear of being ass raped, even with a legitimate reason, so here goes.

    That chapter was full of win. Between this and Shezza's stories, I've fallen in love with The Dresden Files and bought the books.

    I wanted to see some more Potter action but it helped introduce Michael so I suppose it's not all bad. Harry liking the sword seemed to me to be maybe a foreshadow of him being a Knight Of The Cross?

    I enjoyed the interaction between the two Harrys and the fact that Potter's world has its own version of The Sight. The fact that they are warming up to each other shows further development in their characters and their conversations seemed to flow well.
     
  9. azrael

    azrael Professor

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    Necro? What necro? Don't know what you're talking about. And I don't think there's much chance at all of Harry being a Knight of the Cross. Indeed, I would be disappointed if Water Mage did such a thing.
     
  10. Jjf88

    Jjf88 Auror

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    No more necroposting. As I said, only post in an old thread if you have something damn good to say. Library threads are excluded from this, as we want your opinion. This doesn't mean you may post "they updated!"

    6 months with no post would be a necro (imo), and I'd rather not give anybody a reason to analise me.
     
  11. Water Mage

    Water Mage Denarii Host

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    I didn't ever have thoughts of Harry becoming a knight. Things are about to take place that'll definitely make this AU, but not in that particular way.

    The kid gloves are going to come off. And everyone will notice.
     
  12. digitalstorm

    digitalstorm Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    Water Mage are you approaching the end of the story or is this just the beginning/middle?

    Good chapter as usual. Will the Mothers reveal more about the nature of Harry?
     
  13. uriel

    uriel Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    Considering he's posted 16 chapters, but has quotes from a theoretical chapter 24 as his sig, its safe to say we're not approaching the end :p
     
  14. yojorocks

    yojorocks Seventh Year

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    Very nice chapter, nice flashback to eariler when you were talking about him being in the clouds in chapter four. You really have me curious as to what the hell is going on there.

    When I was rereading the actual DF books, something came up that bugged me. Later on in the series (I think Small Favor is the first time we see it), Mab won't speak - she ends up using a creature called Grimalkin to do it for her. There is some speculation why, but nothing definitive that I remember. Is this related to Aiden's silence at all?
     
  15. Slave to my muse

    Slave to my muse Squib

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    It has been a long time since I read small favor (or any of the books for that matter, really need to re-read them all again) but if I remember correctly, Mab was using Grimalkin (or whatever the cat creature was called) to communicate with Dresden because she was so furious about something (the attack on Arctis Tor by a Denerian(sp?) if I remember correctly) that when she spoke to Dresden in her own voice, it caused him to bleed from his eyes and ears. She spoke to him twice I believe in Small Favor (maybe it was only once) and it caused him great pain and probably would have killed him if she spoke for any longer then she did in her own voice.

    I can't remember, but I don't think it was ever said that she communicated to anyone else through Grimalkin. Just Dresden, as she didn't want to kill him with her voice (assumed). I could be wrong though, as I can't really remember off the top of my head.

    Now, whether or not this is still true in Awaken Sleeper, I have no idea, but that is what I remember from the book.
     
  16. Water Mage

    Water Mage Denarii Host

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    Mab uses Grimalkin because she can't control her voice due to some kind of injury.

    Aiden's silence is related to the same phenomena that points to Harry not being quite normal.
     
  17. digitalstorm

    digitalstorm Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    Is it possible that Aiden will become a part of Harry?

    :awesome
     
  18. Water Mage

    Water Mage Denarii Host

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    I can't see how I would be able to pull that one off without it turning cracktastic.

    That quote above is tricky. It won't really make sense till it's actually later explained in the story I think.
     
  19. uriel

    uriel Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    Was it because of an injury? I thought it was because she was that pissed off that she couldn't control herself when she talked, and caused like bleeding eyes n explodin heads n stuff when she did talk
     
  20. digitalstorm

    digitalstorm Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    Mab couldn't control herself when she talked because of an injury. Butcher confirmed it on his forums.
     
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