:/

Kill Elaine please? And Susan?! They both annoy me so very much.

 

Alright, I can see why people would be annoyed by Susan seeing as her showing up at the Red Court party uninvited caused all kinds of trouble, but what's so bad about Elaine?

 

I thought that was Susan.

 

I forgot about that.

 

...reading your conversation is more confusing then a monkey on a race horse.

 

Sweetness.... More updates soon, plz? I needs my Dresden fix...

Edit: <_< Moved. Read the posts next time, plox. Vash.

 

I just finished reading this, and damn I'm impressed. I had put off checking this out by how it started (yeah yeah I judged a book by the cover) since it seemed stupid to have Harry insane. I like what you did with it, but what really set this out from anything else I've been reading is the slow transition. I commend you for being patient, because by doing this you allow the reader to better acclimate himself with the characters you've created, and for Harry to realistically adjust to his environment.

I like the Harry/Elaine interaction, and I look forward to seeing how you handle Dresden.


Side Note: Have you mentioned where Harry actually lives (like what state)? Maybe I missed it but all I noticed was the name of the neighborhood.

 

Im not entirely positive, Anlun, but I'm pretty sure its Washington DC.
You know... what with the taking place in the states thing and downtown DC.

 

Okay then, new chapter with a cool HP!magic vs dresden!magic fight... What more could a person ask for?

I do have to agree though, I thought Harry would be more making with the spell-slinging considering his brand new wand and chosen career path that pretty much gets him into scraps on a (probably) daily basis. He must enjoy the occasional scrap if he's an Auror, and after a few months of being somewhat helpless you'd expect him to open a slightly bigger can 0f whuppass on Peter (who I've either forgotten about or is in the TV series, could someone remind me?).

But still, minor criticisms aside, an excellent update, 4/5.

 

I liked it, for the most part. However it's biggest flaw is the speed of some scenes and decisions over others. For example when Harry makes the decision to hide his magic from the parents, it took all of a single paragraph to do. I mean come on, there should be a little more reasoning than that.

Besides that, s'all good, 4/5.

 

You, Water Mage, have inspired me to write my own short omake (if that's the correct word). Just what I think should have happened in the duel. Not really good quality, but take it as a compliment.

Actually, its less of an omake and more of an extended review. Basically, my big issue is Harry having trouble with a low-level, drunk Warden. I figure if he's confident enough to get into a confrontation in a magical bar he's comfortable enough to win that fight. Yeah.

Anyway, overall good chapter.

 

I disagree, Harry's powerful but he hasn't really tested himself against Dresden magic yet. He had no idea what to expect... I'm not saying lets have him be meek and observy for a good dozen chapters, that would be a little boring.

But if the guy's a warden he must have some skill, drunk or not. And remember, Dresden-verse magic gets stronger when the caster is emotional (i.e. angry). Which Grabby Mcgee obviously was if he was willing to wait for Harry outside.

But did water Mage say this guy was the warden he promised, everyone calling him one but I don't see it in the original?

And yes, I checked each page in this and the other thread for the word warden to make sure I didn't overlook any reference to Peter.

Edit: By the way awesome story, I just started reading it. Though, I cringed a little when I read harry tell his mom he was 20 and could do what he wants. I agree he is mature enough and all, and I'm not advocating sappy momma's boy harry but...

No offence but he came off as one of those spoilt teenagers telling their parents that they were adults and they should let them do what they want. I always want to bitch slap them and ask them who's roof they live under.

 

It mentioned a warden's cloak, I think.

 

It mentions a cloak but I mean come on... as Dresden would say, Its part of the mystique.

It comes with being a wizard... just like having sex with Paris Hilton comes with std's, or being a Disney child star makes you more likely to flash your vagina when you reach adulthood.

Unless you've been chosen for harvest of course... in which case you might not even last that long.

Rectus…
Rectus Dominus…
Rectus Dominus, Cheesy Poofs!

 

Yeah, but most cloaks aren't grey; that's the symbol of the Warden's, and since Warden's can be a bit...trigger-happy, most don't risk doing something that in any way, shape, or form, piss them off.

A way of looking at it is...like using a fake police badge. The cops are going to be pleased with you. But most cop aren't going to cut of your head for something like that.

 

Well I haven't completed the series yet so I'm not going to claim superior knowledge here... Plus I'm too lazy to look up the gray cloak bit.

Though just for the sake of arguing, from Dresden's perspective, everyone's trigger happy around him.

 

Nice. I actually liked it.

I rewrote that chapter more than twice. The ending scene in particular. Harry easily overpowering Dresden wizards is something that I want to avoid. He wont go down without a fight, but they have experience of their own. I dont know where you got low-level, but I always figured Wardens got their job for a reason.

The story that I got this premise from was a Buffy fanfiction called "Far Beyond Normal", and it was a crossover with SG1. It was cool watching Buffy curb stomp all the SG characters for all of five chapters, and then it just got sickening. That's exactly what I want to avoid. There was no need to show his full hand when he didnt even know what he was up against.

Yes, Peter was the warden I mentioned would appear in this chapter. I didnt specifically state it in the chapter, but I mentioned his cloak. I will say he's not one of the Regional Commanders though.

Thank you for that link and that wonderful video that made me rethink the intelligence of teenage girls everywhere. At least the fight between Lily and Harry wasn't about picking up a trick he met on myspace if that helps.

 

I owe you a cookie Ryuugi... My bad.

Water mage; True, it was a small thing, just thought I'd point it out. Though if you want to write a harry as a myspace stalker story, I'd read it. Don't forget Chris Hanson.