Hi. Just thought I'd pop in to thank Taure for reviewing my story here in the first place. In the weeks since it's been posted here, the story alert count has shot up dramatically on fanfiction.net. I can only assume there are a lot of folks who lurk here, like I do, to pick up new and interesting stories to read.

I appreciate everyone's commentary and advice, though I do not promise to heed any of it. Also, I should probably warn that I am neither pro- nor anti-Ginny, and in any case won't write 'ship with an eleven-year-old main character. That said, I do have a long-term plot in mind, and while I concede that the story's moving slowly at the moment, it will pick up and diverge further from canon as events proceed.

I don't think my Harry will ever become quite as Dark or Super as many on these forums prefer, but I don't intend for him to be passive, either. So far, I've been trying to realistically portray a Harry who's only weeks out from having totally resigned himself to the sacrificial role Dumbledore pressed him into. It's a consequence of where I'm branching from canon, and characterization is a big deal for me.

Anyway-- thanks again, YMMV, and carry on.

 

I enjoyed this story. Although the plot has yet to separate the story from the other hundreds of time travel stories, the superior writing and characterization do set it a step above the vast majority.

Looking forward to seeing where the author is going with it. At this point it's too early for me to rate this story above a 3/5 until the plot gets further along, but it could easily rate a 4 or 5 later depending on developments.

To JediButtercup:

That's good to know. I can still hold out hope that this story won't turn out H/G.

I think I can safely speak for most here when I say we dislike Super Harry as well. Super Harry gets boring very quickly. However, we do like a competent Harry. In my opinion, a Harry that might have the potential of rivaling Voldemort and Dumbledore half a century or so down the line is ideal. He shouldn't match them in his Hogwart years .. he should always be the underdog there. A bit short of that is okay too.

The canon Harry, who is both mediocre at magic and an idiot is what I can't stand. I can't stress enough how much more enjoyable a story is if Harry's not an idiot regardless of his magical ability... although magical talent helps too.

I think you've done a good job of that, hence why I'll be following this story in the future.

 

So far there isn't anything in this story that separates it from others in the redo genre.

The writing and mechanics are done well, but the plot hasn't done anything to make me say, "Damn! I wish I had come up with that."

Right now, I'd give it a 3 out of 5, but I'll wait for the Harry in this story to make a move or suffer a consequence of action or inaction before rating the thread.

Jim

 

It's interesting and has some decent points and the spelling/grammar is decent but it's not quite good enough for me. I tossed it in the C2 because it will get read but it's not on the level of great, it's decent. 3/5

 

Shouldn't this be in Time Travel?

Anyway, I liked your story quite a lot. It's very realistic, and the characterization is excellent! The continuity between the end of DH and this fic is outstanding, and I have very little, if anything, to complain about.

4.8/5.

 

Chapter 10 has been posted, don't know if I'm going to read it like but just thought I'd point it out.

Edit: Ok, so I did read it and didn't like it at all. This Harry is pretty lame, and he apparently didn't know he had Black blood in him though Sirius did tell him in OotP. Dorea Black married William (I think) Potter. There is more, but the story just isn't interesting enough to care about.

 

I'm pretty sure Sirius didn't tell him that in canon, actually. We only know it because of the Tapestry JKR made for the OoTP movie.

I thought the update was interesting, and a good setup for future chapters. One of those necessary fillers. It looks like the plot is going to speed up soon, however.

 

First off, a comment on Super!Harry.

DLP favorites generally shy away from Super!Harry fics and instead fall under the heading of Competent!Harry. We like our Harry to be independent, somewhat forceful, and not so much of such a mediocre putz.

JKR basically gave us a hero that only won through dying. It was a huge fucking letdown given that Harry appeared to have initially had the potential to be a powerful and heroic character... only to have him turn into a ambitionless cretin who can't even hold his own against one of Voldemort's meanest underlings, much less someone of Voldemort's caliber

That said, I want you to consider something very carefully. There are Wizards like Dumbledore and Tom Riddle that are genius prodigies... wizards in classes all their own... but apparently even they went to school and took their owls just like everyone else ...and while they were lightyears ahead of the other students... they still were able to be coped with by the teachers and were still able to attend school with everyone else even while they were far beyond them.

That indicates that there are methodologies in place in the wizarding school system to aid gifted wizards and witches to reach their full potential if they are in need of zipping past the standard curriculum.

Consider that Granger got a time turner and special dispensation to go to extra classes in POA. That right there tells you something. It tells you that the wizarding world recognizes ability and allows children that are gifted to work ahead if they so wish... so you really don't have an excuse not to let the Harry of your fic reach for potential skills and powers that he could reach for with his foreknowledge.

There's nothing saying that Harry has to muddle around in the muck as a mediocre student... or that he can't just stride forward and show himself to be a sort of prodigy rather than fitting into the mold that all the other students are in.

With a little effort, Harry could reasonably fake the situation to look like he'd been repressed all his childhood by his guardians and that he was actually a genius waiting for the right soil to sprout in. And that only now is he leaping forward and showing his true abilities. Dumbledore as a boy corresponded with the greatest minds in the magical world. So don't let your bias against seeming to writing Super!Harry stop you from letting him take advantage of the knowledge he actually does have. Having Harry get another crack at school is okay, but him squandering it isn't okay. Guided advanced studies would serve him well, and could end up making him an actual power of his own in the story.

If however you're going to have Harry squander this situation and let himself be just Mediocre!Harry or Pussy!Harry then let us know it right now. Because only a dipshit would squander the opportunity he's been given to gift himself with the power and knowledge he'll need to kill Voldemort, and I've no intention of reading further if that's the case.

If however you're going to have Harry make the most of this opportunity to push himself and gain the power and allies he needs, then get to it already! Harry is basically sitting around playing with his pecker while time is speeding by. He needs to get his priorities straight and start making revolutionary strides forward in getting HIMSELF ready for the coming conflicts. Its nifty he's trying to set up Black's release... but he's taking too much fucking time talking about it and too little doing something about it. Shit... look at him pussy footing around Remus.

Have him just come out and say. "Remus, I've been looking into my mother and father's death by looking at some old copies of the Wizarding newspapers. But rather than read about it, could you just tell me the whole story... some things aren't adding up." Let Remus think that anything that isn't adding up came from the newspapers, then let Harry spring the whole thing of Sirius's innocence that way. All this penpal dancing around the issue became time wasting bullshit a while ago.

Harry doesn't have time to dick around... so while it's nice he's being all maudlin over stuff... get to it and have him start being a little... no strike that.. a lot more proactive for fuck's sake. We're 9 chapters in and you've done diddly squat with getting the pace of the story moving. In short... stop fiddle fucking around already.

 

Garrett P.I.,

It isn't my bias against Super!Harry that has made the ramp-up part of this story slow. In fact, I'm not convinced it *is* slow; I'm actually not all that far into the story, compared to how long it's likely to be in the end, and rising action is an inevitable part of a longer story.

One thing I'm consistently seeing in reviews, even here, is a confusion between author-POV and character-POV; what Harry thinks is happening, going to happen, has happened, etc. is not necessarily the objective truth. I do have a longer-term plan in which Harry will get over his attachment to the mold into which he has been forcibly squashed by canon events, and progress; but that just doesn't happen in the extreme short term, and I've never made it a secret that characterization is a big issue for me. Considering that those nine chapters of "fiddle-fucking around" have only covered a few weeks' time...

Canon Harry doesn't need an excuse to muddle around; that's all he's ever done. The setup portion of my story starts with a fairly canon Harry; therefore it's taking time for the blinders to start falling off. One man's "pussy footing around" is another's "testing of the waters", if you please.

That said, he has started to realize how much time he's wasting in the most recent chapter, and received another long-planned plot-slap at the end of it that will make him revisit a lot of his assumptions. I most definitely do not intend for him to end up "mediocre" or "pussy". But if you expect me to update this story weekly, or accelerate Harry through the collection of plot coupons with the goal of conquering Voldemort anytime in the next twenty or thirty chapters, "Back Again, Harry?" may not be for you.

 

Heh, plot coupons, I like that one.

I like the fic, I read every update. I agree with some of what Garrett said about Harry muddling around. However, after your response I see your reasoning. Last thing you want to do is pull a postOOtP indy fic where Harry knows the answers to everything and gains power over the summer.

The one thing I don't agree with what Garrett pointed out was Harry should be stepping forward showing he is a prodigy. Yes, I would love to see it, it isn't done enough correctly.

However, Harry just has a repertoire of spells most students don't know. And that isn't enough to be considered a prodigy. It isn't that uncommon for a first year student to know a few powerful spells. If I recall, Sirius said that Snape knew more hexes and jinxes than most 7th year students. We also have Hermione who also know quite a few pieces of magic.

The comparison to a prodigy is best shown in Dumbledore and Tom Riddle. What is the main difference you can see between those two and Harry? Both were able to do things with magic that no one could ever dream of. They have a this creativity that lacked in canon Harry, they both had a drive to be great and do amazing things with magic. One of the main reasons Dumbledore is considered a prodigy as a child is that he was actually being published by various magic journals for subjects like Transfiguration and others. He has also won every award Hogwarts has to offer.

We don't know much about Riddle's school performance, but we assume that he was like Dumbledore when it came to ingenuity.

If Harry is going to be considered a prodigy in this fic or any fic he has to replicate some of those achievements. He has to become a public figure for his ideas of advancing magic, win academic awards, show a certain prowess with magic that sets him apart from everyone else.

Luckily Harry has a head start. He knows most of the theory for everything he learned in Hogwarts. He could use that to start the foundation for understanding deeper magic.

 

Sorry for saying this but a really dont like this story. I dont really know why but I cant just sit down and read it, it just doesn't interest me. I guess I find it a bit to slow.

But I have to give credit to the author because it is really well written, you dont see that often.

 

Well, maybe you aren't convinced it's slow... but I am.

Precisely my point. 9 chapters... and tens of thousands of words... and where are we as far as plot advancement? How much progress has he made?
I'm going to pass on a piece of advice that Nonjon was quoted as saying... That noone ever got negative reviews for having too much "action" in a story.
They have however gotten negative reviews for needlessly dragging plot points out when said plot points should have been over and done in one chapter. Case in point... Lupin. You've dragged that whole kettle of fish out for too many chapters already. Lupin connected with Harry in PoA quickly... having him write him would have likely moved things even faster. Don't be afraid to have the characters act... that's what makes action.

Which is precisely why JKR got eviscerated around here for the Half Baked Plot and the Half Baked Plot Part II (aka DH) Harry was a thorough disappointment as far as a hero goes. He completely lacked any ambition at all (but in the first book we're told he HAD tons of ambition to prove himself) and instead fiddle farted around and never TRIED to actually push himself the way he needed to to step in and actually do everything he could to face off with Voldemort. He never really applied himself. In your story, you're giving him a shot at undoing all that dirrectionless waffeling and apply himself to solving the problems he needs to face... but what is he doing? Not a lot. He's mentally old enough to start applying himself... and can see that he doesn't have time to squander. He should be freaking DRIVEN... because he should want to do everything he can and then some to save the people he cares about.

That's fine, and logical, I'm just saying that after 30k words, you'd think he'd have dipped his toes enough and would be getting down to brass tacks and pressing forward. And yeah, I caught how he'd figured out that he's been laboring under a false assumption about the Trace.

Who the hell said anything about weekly updates? Hell... I'm mr. patience when it comes to waiting. you take as long as it takes to do an update... I'm talking about the torpid pacing of the story. You update plenty fast... faster than most of the authors I follow in fact, but the excitement and voom factor could use a little gasoline added to the fire.

Hell, when it comes to updates, you don't hear me bitching at Jbern with his monthly or even further apart update pace, or Nonjon with his even slower updates do you? I'm happy whenever an author does an update and I don't bitch at them about the speed of their writing. I prefer quality over quantity personally...so take your time and get it right... an update comes out when the author is danm good and well ready to update as far as I'm concerned.

It's when a story starts spinning its wheels I have no qualms about telling the author to get the plot out of neutral and give it a good solid kick in the seat to get it moving.

 

Great story Jedi. This is one of the best Harry-goes-back-in-time to PS stories I've read. I pretty much agree with what the posters above have said. The plot with Harry and Lupin could go a little faster, but who am I to complain. As long as you keep updating regularly, I'll be satisfied.

4.5/5

 

Updated:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3693052/11/Back_Again_Harry

Fire away!

 

I hate those damn cliffhangers!
They always make me want to write reviews that contain something like, "Great stuff! Really enjoy the (nifty idea/plot twist/character interaction/kinky sex.) When will you update?"
I suspect that other authors hate that last sentence as much as I do...

Other than that, I'm really enjoying the story. It's slow paced, but that works with this Harry's personality. I don't see any of those boring "filler" chapters. Harry's being slow and careful.

4/5

 

Thanks! It's been so long since I last posted, I was a bit unsure what my reception would be like. Rest assured, the next chapter will be posted sooner; it took awhile to regain my motivation for writing after my friend's unexpected death, but I had fun finishing off this chapter, and I have the skeleton for the next one roughed out.

Well-- this part of the story is technically "filler" in that JKR skipped right over the first two months or so of term with barely a few paragraphs' worth of content. I couldn't do the same; it would hardly be "business as usual" for someone in Harry's situation, and I'm doing my best to make him react like a "real" person. I suspect it will pick up for some readers once I run into the next series of major canon events.

FYI: the final encounter of this chapter has been one of the planned developments from the day I sat down to write the first word. I know exactly where I'm going with it. And I'll try not to torture the readers too long before resolving it.

 

Updated again.

Fairly interesting chapter if a bit on the short side. The reasons for why Lupin would have flashes of knowledge about the future is something that I haven't seen before, but then again I've never seen a fic other than this one that had the same circumstances that would allow it (that actually makes sense if you read the chapter.) Hopefully the next chapter won't take quite as long as this one did.

 

I stand by my earlier comment. Easily one of the best and well thought out travel-back-in-time fics.

The ONLY problem I have is the update rate. It's criminal that you don't update more often, Jedi.

 

The twist at the end was pretty interesting, doesn't look like we're getting a Third Floor Corridor rewrite this time around.

 

I finally checked this one out this morning, and I'm glad I did. Pretty damned interesting. I won't say it's groundbreaking, but the characterization is spectacular.

I agree that Harry seems to be testing the waters before making a move, and that it's easy to differentiate between this and pussyfooting around. This Harry is doing something so far that we rarely see a canon-based Harry do: taking time to think things through.

No, he isn't a prodigy. And I don't think I'd have been as entertained if he had been. He's already begun taking small steps to improve himself, and that works quite well for me. The research he did to augment his own potions text with cross-referenced data and improvements to standard potions-preparation was nicely done, too.

I like the way this has worked with Lupin in the latest chapter. The justification I've given myself for Lupin's dreams forwarning him is that Harry (Master of Death) managed to bring an awareness of the dead-future-Lupin back with him and the living-present-Lupin benefited. Either way, this gives him a competent adult wizard to talk to and confide in about things he can't share with others yet. It'll be fun to see how they approach Dumbledore about Pettigrew and free Sirius from Azkaban.

As much as I know authors hate this, I'm gonna say it anyway: Update Soon.