Key factor in rating this story should be the following: Published: 07-15-04

 

Even if the ideas - which weren't even that groundbreakingly original anyway, even for a story written years ago - were put aside, the writing itself is only barely readable at the best of chapters.

Sure I've wondered why all the Mafia crime families are Muggles, but we all knew we'd eventually find a Wizarding mafia sooner or later. It's just a shame it had to be wasted on this.

The start was piss-weak. Naturally, Harry would carry his identity as the descendant of a Dark wizard. Naturally, no one is suspicious of him whatsoever.

Even if the author made him related to Grindelwald, it doesn't mean Harry has to wear that sign on his back.

Alright!

Sure, an author can expect some leeway on the part of bad grammar (and spelling, sentence structure, dialogue, ahem), which is sacrificed for originality - but this is way crossing the line into shittiness.

Originality is good, but the writing has to be there.

A 2/5 for being readable-

Alright alright, I can't type that with a straight face.

I'd only be giving it a 2/5 if I were to try to avoid seeming like I was bandwagoning. Which I'm not. Apocalypso liked this, so I thought to give it a try. I didn't even have high expectations for this fic, yet it still managed to dissapoint me on every front.

1/5.

 

Updated. YA RLY.

This came out of nowhere on my FF.net list, but at this point I barely remember what the story was about...

EDIT:

Yeah, I read the chapter (it took a year to write that? Really?), and I still have no idea what's going on.

 

This story is almost completely incoherent. Mother of God.

 

I wrote this almost 3 years ago, and it still works.

 

Would someone add a 2 or 1 to the vote total so it can get gone? It might have had some promise years ago but not so any more.

.5/5