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WIP Black Luminary by YakAge - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Sataniel, Aug 6, 2017.

  1. Sataniel

    Sataniel Professor

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    Why would you not attempt hard things when writing fanfiction? It's not your work where staying with something safe may be more profitable. Fanfics are all about overly ambitious ideas, that's why the most of the best fics end up being unfinished.
     
  2. GreatRedDragon

    GreatRedDragon Banned

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    Why I personally wouldn't attempt such hard things? Because I'd be attempting a Magnum Opus if I wrote fanfiction, one great story to end them all, but the idea of trying something overly ambitious over and over again with no attention to detail makes these fics no better than that guy DZ2 that spams FF.net with a new fic every week.

    I wouldn't necessarily say any of what most people view to be the 'best' fanfics are ambitious. What is Forging The Sword? AU. On Way to Greatness? AU. Ectomancer? AU.
     
  3. Sataniel

    Sataniel Professor

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    How does this even connect to the fic we are talking about? It's the author's first fic (at least on this account) and he clearly pays attention to details.

    What?
     
  4. Athreya V

    Athreya V Squib

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    Is yakage still active?
     
  5. 99redbloons

    99redbloons Third Year DLP Supporter DLP Bronze Supporter

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    He posted a one shot in mid May and from what I remember about this story it was at the end of second year. So I think he's just taking a break to build up a reserve of chapters before he starts posting again.
     
  6. Athreya V

    Athreya V Squib

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    Oh! Thanks for telling me
     
  7. Crash

    Crash Third Year

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    So, this is back to updating once a week.

    This definitely has quirks – ex. the frankly really odd decision to make Harry really afraid of women for 'reasons' ... great. Big time anime vibes lol.

    But all in all, enjoyable to read and interesting.

    3.75/5 rounded up to 4 because I think it's worth reading. Not necessarily in the same conversation as a Renegade Cause or Circular Reasoning on an absolute scale of quality, but on the relative scale of the fandom as a whole, especially if considering other stuff being written right now and the availability of quality material, this is worth reading.
     
  8. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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    Black Luminary has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 50
    Words: 406,937
    Updated: 2018-11-01 20:23:54 UTC
    Published: 2016-08-29 17:55:34 UTC
    Previously updated: 7 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  9. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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    Black Luminary has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 51
    Words: 412,200
    Updated: 2018-11-08 22:08:15 UTC
    Published: 2016-08-29 17:55:34 UTC
    Previously updated: 7 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  10. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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    Black Luminary has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 52
    Words: 416,727
    Updated: 2018-11-18 12:38:18 UTC
    Published: 2016-08-29 17:55:34 UTC
    Previously updated: 10 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  11. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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    Black Luminary has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 53
    Words: 422,277
    Updated: 2018-11-25 16:21:09 UTC
    Published: 2016-08-29 17:55:34 UTC
    Previously updated: 7 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  12. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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    Black Luminary has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 54
    Words: 428,136
    Updated: 2018-12-02 16:21:23 UTC
    Published: 2016-08-29 17:55:34 UTC
    Previously updated: 7 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  13. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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    Black Luminary has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 55
    Words: 436,246
    Updated: 2018-12-16 16:14:57 UTC
    Published: 2016-08-29 17:55:34 UTC
    Previously updated: 14 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  14. bluemooks

    bluemooks First Year

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    This premise was interesting, now I really don't understand what the point of this story is. The characters are not as amazing as he thinks they are. The "mystery" of this story to me at least has been drawn out for too and to no real end goal. I can't tell you who the 'big bad' is. 2.5/5 rounded to 3/5 because I hope it gets better
     
  15. Socialist

    Socialist Professor

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    Yeaaaah. It feels like YakAge has lost control of the scope of the story. I think the problem is that he can't limit himself. Thousands and thousands of words have been spent on Daphne for example, and the important information we get is that: a) she's a teenage girl, b) her father is dead and c)she likes Harry a lot, basically. There's a lot of repetition, useless character interactions, flowery descriptions.

    > The characters are not as amazing as he thinks they are.

    You can expand that to the writing in general not being as interesting as the author thinks.

    A good editor could prune this to half the words and end up with a decent 4/5 story.

    There are some good pieces in this (and a few brilliant ones) but they aren't arranged well and there's a LOT of clutter.
     
  16. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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    Black Luminary has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 56
    Words: 441,918
    Updated: 2018-12-23 16:58:49 UTC
    Published: 2016-08-29 17:55:34 UTC
    Previously updated: 7 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  17. Sowaka

    Sowaka Squib

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    I've read up to the current chapter in the last few days and I really enjoyed it. The premise is interesting, the worldbuilding feels fresh, the main characters are intriguing and I like the details being slowly unfolded across chapters. That said, I have some things to complain about.

    For one, unlike in typical HP fanfiction, there isn't really any concrete end goal for Harry. The closest thing is probably reclaiming the Blacks' reputation, but that's way too vague and doesn't feel realistically achievable for him in his current circumstances. Hilariously, the closest step Harry took towards achieving this yet, and conversely the most important thing he did so far, was starting the rumor about Prewett killing his wife.

    Honestly, years one and two are basically a long, long prologue of sorts that sets up the characters. I was especially miffed about how in year one the main mystery was something mysterious only to Hermione and the readers only, and everything was happening according to Harry's plan, and then in year two once again Arcturus and Aenor already knew about the Lethifolds before Harry discovered them.

    The pacing is just way, way too slow. Once again, I like the in medias res approach to characters, because it allows them to be strongly characterized, yet mysterious at the start of the story, but for example Harry's main backstory being revealed only in chapter 27 feels too late. It would be really clumsy if the author wrote it in a note at the start of chapter 1 or revealed it too soon, but chapter 27 is late. Similarly, the secrecy around the Black family is interesting, and I really wonder who those mysterious Blacks attending those meetings are, but as of chapter 56 we only got confirmations about Bellatrix and Narcissa in text. This is especially hard to forgive cause the author seems to have the story preplanned and is writing a fully original AU, meaning he isn't bound by canon plot progression and could have planned differently. Looking back, personally I'd prefer the plots of years one and two forming year one together, e.g. fall term being the attacks on Harry and spring being the Lethifolds.

    I do like the overall scope of the story. It doesn't feel too expansive and over-stuffed with random ideas, unlike for example Harry Potter and The Prince of Slytherin, but it's fair to say some characters feel underutilized. Specifically the Lestrange siblings, Draco and now Astoria. The author even admits this in one author note. Hermione, on the other hand, isn't underutilized, but feels like a complete tool character clearly existing for a distinct purpose and nothing more, in this case the reader learning about the Wizarding culture through her.

    Now we're in year three and it finally feels like things will get moving. There's some interesting foreshadowing about Aenor, the Grindelwald plot, the reason why Potters got killed etc., so I'm looking forward to reading more. I'm also interested in seeing which girl will Harry end up with. Although at this point in the story anyone else than Daphne doesn't feel plausible.
     
  18. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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    Black Luminary has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 57
    Words: 454,078
    Updated: 2019-01-06 18:47:49 UTC
    Published: 2016-08-29 17:55:34 UTC
    Previously updated: 14 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  19. reputlet

    reputlet Squib

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    I'm rating this story a 3/5.

    My reasoning behind this is simply because the character development and growth is seriously lacking compared to its world building. I can't say enough good things about the world building but it feels like the way the characters react and behave in the world is profoundly flawed. Harry can go from being ruthless and almost remorseless, to floundering in social interactions. Its like taking a rated M world and throwing in the characters from a K+ story.
     
  20. Sowaka

    Sowaka Squib

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    Is it, though? Harry not being directly engaged in the "dark dealings of Blacks" is justified in the story simply by Arcturus existing and taking care of that instead. Similarly Harry's ruthless when he does deal with something that affects the Blacks and floundering elsewhere because of his instilled fear of women.

    You might dislike this setup overall, but at least inside of the story it's all justified and I was mostly okay with it. Though I doubt the mystery of who made Harry afraid of women and why will have a satisfying conclusion.
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2019
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