Title: Bloodlines by mcknz.blck - T
Author: mcknz.blck
Rating: T
Genre: Romance/Drama
Status: WIP
Library Category: Romance
Pairings: Harry P. & Daphne G (I think)
Summary: Harry's friends abandon him after his name comes out of the Goblet of Fire. He finds an unexpected ally and an underground secret society that shows him that not everything is what it seems.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8818451/1/Bloodlines

So far it is a good read and I like the way it is going but I also think that it is missing something as well although I have only read up to chapter 4 I am starting to like the story, a blood feud between Potters and Weasley is one thing that peaked my interest in this.

 

Wow, run on sentence. You didn't offer much of an introduction to the fic. Probably should've read all of what's there, too. Four chapters isn't much to go on for any fic.

Basically, Ron and Hermione don't believe Harry didn't put his name in the Goblet of Fire so Harry is out on his own. Daphne approaches Harry and offers to help. He eventually agrees. Neville, too. Daphne and Neville are part of some society filled with students who have power in the world, or will inherit it. Usually the society talks about changing the world for the better, but nothing ever happens (says Daphne). Daphne wants Harry to join and actually make changes.

There's Ron or Hermione bashing in almost every chapter. The Weasley's only care for Harry to hope to regain their former status as in the 1800s a Weasley murdered a Potter and have since been called "blood traitors". Hermione believes Dumbledore implicitly, she's oblivious to Harry hating her now and refuses to believe Harry whenever he tells her he didn't put his name in the cup, House-elves needing bonds to survive, etc etc.

Yes, it's a Harry and Daphne fic. As of chapter nine, they are not together yet.

What's here, I'd give no more than a 3/5. It's passable at best. Every good aspect is ruined by some annoying bashing or cliche. The society hasn't become a huge factor yet either.

 

I don't like the way Daphne introduced the information about the blood feud; it seemed very rushed. Daphne's dialogue sounds forced. Everyone that harry has so far interacted with has an hidden agenda, plausible while speaking of teenagers? Harry trusted neville very soon after a recent betrayal with his one of his only mementos of his family, Suspension of disbelief is required.

All that being said, I don't like this. It's a good scim through to pass time, but when I Pay more attention to the words and the setting behind them I start to reel.
I don't like how the summary gives the future of the story away.

2.5/5, Rounded up for a somewhat original plotline.

 

Everything in the story is forced. It's some of the most unbelievable dialog and attempts at retconning canon events I've ever seen. You really have to suspend both your disbelief and ability to reason to accept what's taking place in the story.

The writing is fine, if not elegant, but the premise and plot are not.

Now, if you absolutely hate Ron, Hermione, and Dumbledore and the concept of Slytherin females makes you all hot, then this is probably for you. Otherwise, there are much better stories out there to read.

 

Average story - not good enough for the library.

Same old stuff about everyone abandoning Harry but !surprisinglygood Daphane and !Weasleyreplacement Neville.

Character interactions seem forced.

Read through the 10 chapters, not likely to continue when the story is updated.

2/5.

 

I couldn't get past half of the first chapter. It's not that the writing is bad. There's just no depth. Dialogue are stilted and characterization is shitty. The whole premise is also quite lacking. There's nothing outstanding about this fic.

1/5