Its great, but I feel like you're doing something closer to a sitcom than getting the heart of Firefly down. And that's fine. This story is fun and fantastic, and like your other work, I really dig it.


However, Firefly has more drama and conflict to it with darker aspects (torture, betrayal, death, isolation, etc.)


Also, in Firefly River is BRILLIANT (and crazy). She's a great fighter, but she's also incredibly smart (see the episode with the assasin on board, and the flashbacks Simon has to her being a child-prodigy, and being selected to go to a "gifted school")

Anyway, I like crazy River and Whedon certainly used her for comic relief, but it feels like you're not getting the aspect of someone who is INCREDIBLY prescient and lethal (see her killing people with a gun and fighting in the movie). I REALLY love your story, and I am a big fan of firefly. You get this stuff down, and I think this may be the best Harry Potter story I've read.

P.S. Sorry if it seems like I'm nitpicking. UPDATE SOON!!

 

i have a small request.

for the sake of my sanity, when you write chinese, can you write how the chinese would spell it in pinyin, instead of how it sounds phonetically?

if you're getting the translations from browncoats.com...the pinyin is the the stuff in brackets

the chinese in the show was laughable, there's no reason why it should be the same in fics.

it's a peeve of mine.

 

Alright. First, I'd think most people will have learned to be careful drinking beverages while reading my fics. They've long been rumored to be dangerous to read while eating or drinking.

Second, this chapter I knew before posting, and even while considering whether to keep it as planned, that this one was going to be one of the silliest/zaniest chapters, and potentially offputting to some people wanting a more serious fic. In some ways, it's sort of a weeding out point. But it's not as random as it first seems.

And yes, I've known from the original brain-storming and plot planning that River was going to be the most OOC of the Firefly bunch. Simply because in the tv show, she was so much more in the background and the episodes were about the jobs, experiences, and just getting by. The movie made her far more the main central character or at least impetus for the plot. She sort of came out of her shell in Objects in Space with Jubal Early (the bounty hunter who snuck on board), but in the majority of the first dozen episodes she just sort of hid quietly and occasionally would slice Jayne with a knife or repeat things that would make sense later. She is still the genius and will be such, but Harry is throwing her off her game so to speak. Early on here, he's sort of weirding them out.

And please do nitpick and criticize. As much as I love the praise, it's the criticism that helps more.

As for the darker aspects (the torture, betrayal, death stuff), I'm not discounting any of it happened, but it won't be very prominent in this fic. This fic is to give me a break from the semi-angry, bitter, sarcasm of Dimension Hopping, and write something more pleasant and light-hearted. There will be some drama, and we will be unraveling more of the mystery Harry is to the crew, as well as the running theme of figuring out what's happened to the wizarding world. But Jayne won't be selling anyone out anymore. Inara and Mal won't be angsting away their unrequited tension. Tears, romance, excessive emotions... have their place in fics, just rarely in mine. This won't be the movie. I'll tell you right now, I'm not going to be killing any of the main characters, or torturing them (physically at least). I simply want to write something a bit happier. Just my tastes, and catering towards my skills as a writer.

And finally, the translations are probably mainly phonetic, but I think some of them are pinyin mixed in. Not sure I've used any pinyin in the fic yet or not, because I'm not sure I can recognize the difference (yes, lazy blind american I know). I just grabbed all the translations out of mainly the online scripts. Some at fireflyfans.net, some at browncoats.com, FireflyWiki.org, Whoa Good Myth, etc. When they'd have just the chinese and no translation I wouldn't copy it. And I've got like just a list of the 80 or so I've copied out of scripts. Another dozen or so from other fics, and maybe a few other places. I think I have another htm file that was a small translation dictionary on some other site. It's all kind of a mix. And I'm not even certain any of it is written right, translates correctly etc... another reason I don't want to put translations at the bottom. Because those would undoubtedly be corrected frequently. And I think the gist or meaning of them should be roughly guessed from the context, not that any of them are important to the plot.

Thanks for all the comments, praise, nitpicks, and requests.

 

Let me tell you, happier is better. There are far too many "suffering the wounds of the past" fanfics. Sure River's been hurt, tortured, abused, etc, and sure Harry's had it a billion times worse in his (however long you said he'd been alive) years, but, personally, I'd rather read something cheerful. Destracts me from reality.

 

I agree with that. So far, it's been pretty up to par with the humour you would expect to see in an episode that was written by Joss. I would have been unhappy if you tried to take the piss out of Firefly.
Also, I'm so glad you didn't wimp out of using the Chinese. It wouldn't be the same without it.

 

I know.

Almost a week there between updates. Not quite but still. I am so ashamed.

CHAPTER SIX - Frankly, You're Dead went up this afternoon. A bit less humorous and more furthering the plot this time. Probably going to have more along these lines for a little while.

 

Oooh, interesting.. Can't wait to see if Hogwarts moved to a new planet (maybe a hidden one!) or if it's still on Earth That Was.
Wonder if that's where River found herself before she got taken by the Alliance..
Don't take so long to update this time, please!

 

Nah, Everything from Earth is gone. My question is what happened to all the wizards. IF there are some "Readers" still out there, maybe there are some other people with weird individual powers. People like Metamorphs, who can change their appearance, and maybe "Parseltongues" are still around also.

I REALLY like how you've given River more depth rather than just making her a punchline. Will it be explained how she's so deadly and well trained in terms of combat? Will this be an issue how she cad do this?

I would LOVE to see River become more reality based. Not like Jayne or anthing, and still eccentric, but somewhat like LUna, only an INCREDIBLE fighter, and a Reader (I think it would be a nice twist if she ultimately became more gifted in the mind arts than Harry, who if you'll recall, was never really that gifted. Harry did struggle with them for a long time afterall.) Anyway, great story. I can see a nice romance developing between Harry and River now. Before I couldn 't, now yes.


UPDATE SOON!![/i]

 

I'll disappoint you all and say that I highly doubt any other odd powers are going to be popping up. Considering the fear and rarity of parseltongue I kind of like the idea that Harry and Tom were the only ones in canon times (it always bugged me when everyone and their mom had such a rare and 'dark' ability). Harry killed Tom. Harry have no kids, so that power's unlikely to resurface (assuming it's genetic).

And we will be seeing a bit more of what made River the way she is. This next chapter Harry and her take a dive into her head. As for Harry's skills in the mind arts, true, as an impetuous youth they were lacking, but I figured a century plus would give him some of the wisdom and patience necessary to improve. No need to claim him the best in the verse at them, since there really isn't anyone else. And my original inclination is for him not to teach her how to read people, but how to stop herself from reading people. It's a sort of delicate balance too, because I've always felt a big part of the 'mind arts' seemed more simple focus and concentration and less 'magic'. I think I'm going to treat it as though with understanding a sort of 'reading' could be done by anyone, but with a wand and trigger word like "Legilimens" you have a magically strengthened version of reading. Which is about all many can do without a natural gift for it. Readers are those with significantly strong gifts, but there's never been any study of it or understanding of it. Although River's is more volatile than any others as they cut up her brain trying to learn about it, improve on it, etc.

And of course, with all of River's training and skills, she was a weapon they were building. It's just there's safeguards in her brain keeping the control of those sorts of things out of her hands. If she is able to reassert control of everything in her head, well then... that'd make her an even more dangerous person, now wouldn't it? :]

We won't be exactly romancing the two of them, but she obviously has and will continue to have a sort of reliance on him. And you know Harry and his saving-people-thing. And really, who besides River could put up with this Harry? Or who besides Harry could put up with this River?

 

Hmm. This is the trap I fall into every time I get into a fic. When a new chapter is posted, I am happy for the ten minutes it takes me to read it. Then I become either depressed of angry that the next chapter isn't up yet and I stay that way until it is posted.

That said, I can understand how Chuck can see a romance coming. But I doubt it will get here because I know the author's stance on romance fics.

I have figured out what happened to the wizards. The muggles killed them. Set their space ships to blow up. Never trust a muggle. The only ones that made it were on the mixed ships.

 

I have been enjoying the theories I've heard so far.

1). The wizards are living completely secluded on a planet of their own.
2). The wizards are still on earth, having survived.
3). The wizards are completely integrated into muggle life just beyond anyone's notice.
4). The muggles created a virus that attacks the magical "gene" and killed them all.

5). And now I'll add space-ship abduction to that list, tongue-in-cheek noted.

I've even heard mention of an uber-powerful Dark Lord on the wizard planets that Harry will be needed to combat.

Any other theories?

 

Ooh, I got one. The wizards are actually the top supream head honchoes of the Alliance. They make all the decisions and run everyone's lives.

 

In charge

If you go with that then the person who was in charge of it all would have to be descended from Dumbledore because only he could be that manipulative

 

Funny, good update.


I have a theory for your new chapter...

The Wizards Magic cancelled out the technology (remember Magic shortcircuits things..)

All the Wizards died. They couldn't stop using magic/ never realized they were destroying the space shuttles until it was to late. 50 years is a long time.

Now, I'm sure there are still wizards in the 'verse, but they are untrained Muggleborns who couldn't use magic on the ships and left with the all-muggle shuttles.

That's what I think.

 

Interesting! Now we're getting some thought-provoking theories finally. All the wizards died, but not as a result of the conspiracy of muggles, but due to their own use of magic aboard the ships. And still muggleborns show up, just no one notices or believes what their accidental magic is doing.

I shall neither confirm nor deny anything straight-forwardly.

But if magic and the space-shuttles goes kabutz, then that does not bode well for Harry on Serenity.

 

My theory is that the wizards magic is dependant on the planet earth and the wizards that left lost their powers and married into the muggle world. Those who have talents such as reading are the decendants of those wizards, who still have the gene but as it is a different solar system, the magic manifests differently. Though I can't explain how Harry can still do normal magic.

I think that the muggles killing off the wizards with a virus is good too.

Another theory is that all the magical population became squibs as on the ships on the way to the new solar system there was a limited gene pool - mirroring what happened to the old pureblood families.

EDIT: The wizards can't all have died because their space ships blew up due to over use of magic as otherwise none of the magical artifacts that Harry collects would have made it to the new system. Also, Weatherby is there.

 

Now we're getting some critical thinking here! So leaving earth, they lost their powers, squirt out the occasional 'reader', and Harry's a freak? Interesting!

Though I'm not so sure the 'limited' gene pool is such a strong argument when we're talking about basically one, maybe two generations (I'm saying fifty-odd years or so). And the "purebloods" have been restricting themselves to a gene pool for a while, leaving all the other wizards who weren't restricting themselves free to bed all the hawt and secksee muggles around. Or at least the mudbloods.

 

I thought of that. The items were brought over by squibs and people who took the Statute of Secrecy so seriously that used magic rarely enough to not damage the electronics. (This is from GoF.)

Anyway, because they didn't use magic often, it meant that they were UNABLE to teach the next generation to use magic. Hence, a whole generation grew up with very little magical knowledge, and limited practical understanding. Plus, there weren't enough wands.

These un-educated wizards carried the few magical devices with them that weren't destroyed. (Notice no powerful magical items have arrived, something on par with a Philosopher's Stone.) However, the little knowledge they had was lost because of the lack of new magical tools. (Wands most important).

Doesn't Percy seem like the kind of guy who would have been a real stickler for the rules, and rigidly followed the Statute of Secrecy?

Plus, you forgot Squibs.




Squibs brought shit with them, I think. You can't tell me that someone like Arabella Figg, someone truly immersed in both the Magical and Muggle worlds, would have not taken a couple of Magical items with her.


And yes, I thought of Serenity. It adds a lot more interest doesn't it? How long until the magic fades from that piece of equipment Harry gave to Kaley (sp.) ? He'll have to learn to use it in moderation I figure, and not make it a grand fix-all. That said, he can still use it on missions, and on ground where it won't affect Serenity, or on rare occassions.


P.S. I originally only went with the squib theory, which explains why the items are SO hard to get, but I figured I'd throw in the wizard one also. But Personally, I think the Squibs brought stuff with them, and Percy's descendant was a squib. This makes the most sense to me, but I didn't want to exclude REALLY uptight wizards. Although, I doubt any could be that uptight for 50 years, and I'm still inclined to believe they blew-up in the "Black."


P.P.S. Nonjon, you have an answer right? I mean, you know conclusively one way or the other yes?

P.P.S. Even if my idea is wrong about the Wizards dying two things still have to be answered. 1.) Where did Harry get a wand? No more are being made, so where did he find it (let alone the other one!) and 2.) What effect does Harry's magic have on technology. So far in canon, it doesn't work on electronics and all electronics break down (Hogwarts is too magic rich.)

Maybe Harry's not powerful enough to do real damage, who knows, just give us a one-liner addressing it. Other than that...

UPDATE!!!

 

Maybe it was as simple as all the wizards converging on some new planet, building new magical comunity, when some dissaster struck. They are forced to errect some wards/shields that eats on their magical power. They survive, but they are left magicless, with only the most powerful of them keeping basic mental skills (readers)...

Or some variation of that...

 

Yes, I have a plan for all the big stuff. I know where are and/or what's happened to all the wizards. And I'm not certain everyone's going to like the answer. But I love stirring the pot and hearing guesses. And I don't think I should even tell you if anyone's close yet, but there's still some ideas that haven't even come up at all yet.

I do have like the eight biggest points/events planned out. It's all the stuff in between that I'm making up as I go.

And just in case people are curious or don't realize:

1980 Harry born.
~? Harry was Headmaster
2097 Fullerton born.
2122 Harry's wife dies.
2132 Harry goes to sleep.
~2155 Science of Magic, Magical Genetics
2157 Fullerton becomes Deputy to Headmistress Gordon
2164 Fullerton becomes Headmaster
2190 Hogwarts school closes
2193 Harry's edition of H,AH
2194 Last magic-only ship goes out. Another three years of evacuation with 'mixed' crowds.
~2250 Estimated date of arrival in new solar system

????

2518 Harry wake up. Events of movie Serenity.
2520 - the fic...