At the risk of repeating myself, the last chapter was very nice. Your description of the Lost City was very well done and it gives me a picture of it. We can see that you put a lot of thinking in your stories and it shows.

Keep up the good work !

 

Thanks. I'd like to thank everyone that voted for this story! It won Story of the Year, Best Hero, Best OC and Best Innovative. The guys and gals who help me creatively really deserve a good deal of credit for all their assistance.

In truth for OC, I voted for Hack instead of Kwan. I looked at it like this Kwan and simiarly Draco664's Zab are both gruff angry teachers that are secretive and rather cruel. I unconciously drew inspiration for Kwan from the mentor in the Remo Williams series. I was looking for a cruel and unusual Mr. Miyagi.

Hack on the other hand is a troll. Making an intersting character out of a troll is rather daunting.

Jim

 

Jbern, in celebration we deserve the finishing of this story within the next 2 weeks. Also, your Harry/Fleur you've been talking about, and the sequel to Bungle.

Congratulations, seriously though. I didn't expect you to win so much, you were competing with some hard core fics.

 

What he said
:cheers::banana:

 

About the necro wards, its compleatly possible that theirs still someone, or somthing, in the city controlling them. My votes for a lich. On of Voldemort's follwers could have become one and is holding the wards intact and powerfull. There would be no master ward that's respawning the Necro ward like Bill thinks just a zombie wizard whos recasting the wards when the fall. Another thing to wonder about is are there any house elves in the city? and if there are will we see them soon?

 

The messages after Jims have great ideas. Especially the one about getting the end of this one the fleur/harry fic, and the sequel to bungle in the next two weeks.

The Lich idea is also pretty good but it would have to a powerful death eater not a run of the mill death eater.

 

Jesus, Jim. This thread is a monster. *Kendra really needs to catch up on her reading* I'll come back and tackle this thing later....

 

Holly Basket of House Elf Eggs! It's the Garden Gnomes of Doom!

Or worse! The Zombie Flobberworms!

If the wards affect in the same way the wizards as the goblins, trolls and even dragons, all magical creatures will be affected. The only possible creatures that would be immune would be the extreme light creatures: phoenixes an unicorns. Though I do not know that the house elfs would stay in such an environment. All the clues point that their magic is so tied to the house of the wizard they serve that the necro-wards would drive them away or make them sick. The latter perhaps is the most sure way to poison their kind.

Oh, how many possible intrigues! House Elfs Paladins vs Garden Gnomes Vampires; Hack the Warrior of Light vs Niffers Demonologists! Hahahahahaha...

 

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No.

 

They could find an old journal from one of the people who died detailing what happened.

Also I have a feeling that the master ward will be set up so that if the horcrux is destroyed then the ward destroys the town and that if the ward is destroyed then the horcrux is transported to another location or something along those lines.

Great chapter as always and the pre GoF idea is an excellent starting place.

 

.,...

 

Yes Vash, a positive review.

The chapters in question were completely action packed and overall enjoyable. Kwan is a well done OC, currently one of the best ones out.

I'm only following about 6 fics right now so there isn't a whole lot too compete with.

Pulling out an old post of mine and posting a fucking pointless picture when I have never said that Jbern is a shit author. Just that I don't enjoy his work as much as I used too, and that there are many things to criticize. I wonder what the point of that was?

I fail to see what this was supposed to prove? That I can disagree with a vote but not praise a chapter?

 

Chapter 19 is now up.

I hope you enjoy it. Our intrepid band of heroes luck just ran out. For your amusement and Omake by IP82 when reading an early draft of the chapter obviously you'd need to read the chapter first for this to make any sense ...

Lord Voldemort:
<clears his throat and then looks at his clothes>
Are these robes alright for the occasion?

Lucius Malfoy:
Err, master, we are recording a sound message, remember? No one will see what you looked like-

Lord Voldemort:
Never-the-less, my faithful dark minion, in this business you learn soon enough that appearance is everything. So, the robes? Now!

Lucius Malfoy:
Yes, of course master. The robes are fine.

Lord Voldemort:
Just fine? Not bone-chilling? Awe-inspiring? Teeth-gnarlingly delicious?

Lucius Malfoy:
Err... Yes, of course, they are not only quite dashing, but also-

Lord Voldemort:
They make me look fat, don't they?

Lucius Malfoy:
No! No, my Lord-

Lord Voldemort:
Oh, so you don't think my figure is imposing enough?

Lucius Malfoy:
<licks his lips>
Master, your robes are absolutely perfect. They were perfect at the spiraling saw trap, near the entrance. They were perfect at the gas chamber pit in the school. They are perfect now. They'll be perfect at the other 14 locations we're setting up today. I couldn't even fathom your majesty looking anything less then the absolutely perfect synergy of aristocratic nobility wrapped up in-

Lord Voldemort:
Bah, enough! I have a mirror more creative then you!
<pouting>
I order you to get the recording started immediately! Unlike you, I don't have a whole day to waste on such trivialities!

Lucius Malfoy:
I apologize profusely my lord. I'll get right on it! Ready?
<casts a spell>
Go!

Lord Voldemort:
<Reads from the script>
Hahahahahaaa! You braindead douchebags! You honestly thought that great and mightly LORD VOLDEMORT would leave his books here for you to take! See the might of the one and only Dark Lord! Fear the wrath he unleashes...

Lucius Malfoy:
Err... master... master!

Lord Voldemort:
What!? I was just getting into the swing of it!

Lucius Malfoy:
<gulps>
That's the script for the public library. That one's next on our list.

Lord Voldemort:
It is? Oh, right... Alright, here it is. Gringotts. I'm ready. Start recording right now! I can't afford any more of your imbecilic delays!

Lucius Malfoy:
Yes master, I apologize. Here we go. Take two. Ready?
<casts a spell>
Go!

Lord Voldemort:
YOU FUCKING RETARDS! Did you really think I would...
<he stops and stares at the paper>
Damn this is getting ridiculous! Lucius, who wrote these speeches?

Lucius Malfoy:
Err, he's a new guy from the North American colonies. Our market analysts indicated we were losing touch with the younger generation, so they proposed hiring something called a PR expert, whose job-

Lord Voldemort:
Kill him. And keep him dead. I don't want him anywhere near my inferi! Next thing I'd see would be them putting up makeup so they'd look more scary to the younger victim market...
<makes alterations on the text>
Alright, this is more like it. You may proceed.

Lucius Malfoy:
Yes master. Take three. Ready?
<casts a spell>
Go!

Lord Voldemort:
FOOLS! Did you really think I would make it so easy for you? Did you honestly believe that Lord Voldemort would stack his gold here for your plunder? Perish knowing how I led you here with forged keys and that you carried the ledgers to your destruction with you. Bwhahahahaha!

Lucius Malfoy:
Stop. Err, my lord? You said...

Lord Voldemort:
I know what I said!
<looking rather shifty>
I was merely displaying my displeasure over having to waste my precious time here with you, instead on taking over the world. Record again and no more mistakes this time! You got it!?

Lucius Malfoy:
Yes my lord. Thousand apologies, I'll strive to improve led by your shining example-

Lord Voldemort:
<fuming>
Just get on with it!

Lucius Malfoy:
Yes my lord. Take four.
<casts a spell>
Go!

Lord Voldemort:
TOOLS! Did you really think...
<Stops, fuming. Looks at Malfoy dangerously, daring him to say something>
You know what? Forget it! I've had it with this tomfoolery! I have more important things to do then this! WORMTAIL!

<Wormtail scuttles over and heels before Voldemort>

Wormtail:
Yes! Yes my lord! How may I serve! Tell me and I'll do it. Anything-

Lord Voldemort:
Enough.
<gives him the script>
You're to set up this message. Lucius will record you.

Wormtail:
For real? Really real!? Wow! Do I get to use the big voice again? Do I!? Do I!? Please!!??

Lord Voldemort:
<throws him a vial>
Yes, yes, just get it done. Lucius, I leave this in your hands, however incapable they are.
<walks off>

Lucius Malfoy:
Alright worm. What you need to do first is drink-

Wormtail:
<in a squealing voice>
Hi hi hi... gulp!
<in Voldemort's chilling voice>
Hi hi hi! I AM LORD YOU-KNOW-WHO! AND I'LL TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND MAKE MY FAITHFUL AIDE PETER INTO MY RIGHT HAND MAN...

Lucius Malfoy:
Enough! We have a job to do.

Wormtail:
<pouting, in Voldemort's voice>
For that to happen, however, that mean meany of my current right hand man will have to go...

Lucius Malfoy:
Enough I said. Just read the bloody lines. We have 14 more locations to go...
<muttered>
...unless his holiness changes his mind again and come back for another try.
Alright. Ready? Go!


***
Several decades later...
***
...forged ledgers and that you carried the keys to your destruction with you! Hahahahahihihihi hi hi hi!

Harry:
Err, this may seem strange, but did Voldemort just sound a bit too eager to you?
<turns to Bill>

Bill:
Yes, actually he did... and what about that excited panting between the sentences?
<turns to Thundercloud>

Thundercloud:
Never mind that. What I want to know is why in the world did that evil laughter sound more like giggling?
<turns to Sanchez, who's impaled on a bone, blood pouring out of her mouth>

Harry:
Err, maybe we should talk about this later?

Bill:
Good idea.

 

Great new chapter. It's good to see a devious and cunning Voldemort and no plain stupid madman. The fight was, while not the greatest ever, nicely done and enjoyable. The upcoming conflict between Collins and the goblins is also interesting.
Oh, and nice Omake

 

I love the chapter. The death of whats her face was pretty cool. The idea of traps didnt occur to me for some reaon after the necro wards.

 

I figured voldemort would toatally protect one area and have nothing in it and stash the horcrux in some out of the way minimaly protected place.

 

Watch them tear the whole town apart and discover a letter saying "You fools. Its not here". That would be Ironic.

 

It was a good update and I agree that the death was necessary. At the same time I think that it was a bit of a cop out since Jbern kill the least liked character but meh.

 

There is still plenty of time to kill Kwan, Thundercloud and Collins. Don't rush the author!

That was a fitting way for her to go: A reminder of Harry's mortality.

BEWARE, POTENTIAL SPOILERS:

I'm willing to bet Collins is going down next firing his big gun Scarface style. Then Kwan has a touching scene where he's on the verge of death and he smiles and says, through a bloody mouth, "...you're not so stupid... cook". Thundercloud lives and Harry bangs his voluptuous granddaughter and then Bill and Harry head back to England.

Or I'm completely wrong. Either way, another great chapter - can't wait for the next one. Have it out by, hmmm, tommorow? Thanks