Title:Cave Ultor
Author: Lord Letumvis
Rating: T
Genre: Action/Adventure
Pairing: None yet
Status: Work in Progress
Summary: Harry has lost everything to the war, barely surviving by using the dark arts. Now, he starts over in an alternate dimension with Neville as the BoywhoLived...but will Harry defeat Voldemort, or fall to the lure of the dark side and replace him?

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2718629/1/

It's quite better thatn the rest of the 'Neville is BWL stories.' Give it a try if you think it's worth your time.

 

This is where I stopped.

 

It's just following Harry's normal mindset. It seems the author didn't want to make Harry hate Ginny. If you ignore parts with Ginny you'll find that it's ok.

 

I quite liked this and have been following it for awhile now, it is worth it even that Ginslut bit. Read more then judge.

 

Ugh. . . I tries to read the rest of it, I really did. But I failed. The writing style bothered me in some places and most of the duologue sounded corny. Then he started calling the mudblood 'Mione after foolishly showing off his power by turning pieces of wood into uber gold feather quills wordlessly. He beats Ron at chess "10 times" as he says repeatedly, and Hermione goes on a rant about how Harry shouldn't be able to do what he did and how blah blah blah powerful wizards blah blah blah bookwormish stuff blah blah blah. When in Snapes class, Harry wants Snape to provoke him so he can make Snape look stupid or something. Harry feels a prickle on his occlumency shields and "pushes back" or whatnot, when Snape replies with a "OWW" I stopped reading.

 

Well...every person has different likes and dislikes I guess, so I can't really force my opinion on anyone. If you like it, you like it and if you don't like it, then, so be it.

 

I could get over all of that if Harry wasn't acting like a complete idiot.

I mean, the guy is supposed to be the greatest dark wizard in the world, but his biggest ambition at the moment seems to be showing off to a bunch of 11 year old kids and shouting his secret plans of world domination aloud for the whole world to hear. What a stupid brainless piece of shit. Someone should just AK him and put him out of his misery.

 

I'll forgive some foolish choices and behaviors. And I'll even give the author points for trying on lots of things.

But it's not even really fun to read when it is all dialogue with basically no descriptions. I'm all for stripping out extraneous descriptive bits, but massive chunks are literally like this, without any actions at all:

"blah..."

"bleh..."

"blah..."

"bleh..."

"blah..."

"bleh..."

And over and over. Becomes tedious to read. Works in some scenes and sections but way overdone for my tastes here. And 11 year old Harry with brain/knowledge/skill of adult is truly just an excuse to make him a Gary Stu way too easily.

I'm glad to see people are trying this, and not just to make the H/G twue wuv happen at an even earlier and pervier age becomes there wasn't enough kissing in JK's first few books, but this story fails more than works for holding my interest. Nothing really creative or different about this one from others.

 

That whole thing with 20,30.. years old Harry getting reborn in his 11 year old self is flawed from the start, especially since he's always like "Oh, Ron my best friend, look he still has his head attached! Oh and look Hermione, she never had that bookshelf fall down on her..." I won't even mention that sick shit when he starts pining after 11 year old Ginny... And then he's all over himself trying to become friends with them again. Bullshit!

I mean, what would 20,30 year old guy wanna do around 11 years old kids? Run away from cooties? Exchange collector cards? Play tag? Talk about kiddie stuff? What? There's a reason why people grow up, you know.

That whole idea is stupid, unless Harry ditches Hogwarts completely and spends the next several years training... Fat chance that will happen when there's 11 year old Gionny sex-goddes to hit on...

 

The dialogue is really, really, REALLY corny. Its basically really rushed canon with a few small changes up to the point he's stopped at.

11 year old Harry just dueled the LeStranges, killed Bella. He's used AK twice now and openly admited it and gotten away with it.

It needs alot of work to be more readble, I'll check it maybe once or twice a year

 

God damn it i hate this fackiing piece of shit! i retract my past comment that this is a good fic! i hope that it can go and polute the heavens with it's shittiness! it's gonna be a fuckin Harry/Gutter slut, god damn it i cant believe i thought it was good!

 

Turning wood into gold quills? That made one of the uses of the philosopher's stone pretty much useless. >< I should have stopped at the part where it said Bellatrix murdered Ginny. That was the best part of the story.

 

same here. I got so bored with it.