Title: Cenotaph
Author: Notes
Rating: T
Genre: Alternate Universe
Status: Complete
Fandom: Worm
Pairings: None
Summary: Taylor takes credit for the capture of Lung and propels herself in a different direction than canon.
Link: Spacebattles
Alt Link: Work By Authors
Alt Link: Archive of Our Own

This is the closest fic with Wildbow's writing style and characterization. Every character is a blast, especially Lung. I know this fic is already in Work By Authors, but it deserves to go in the library. 5/5


Checked by Minion, January 26, 2014

 

My favorite Worm fic, and one of my favortie fics period. 5/5 definitely.

 

Pretty decent. 4/5

 

I wish Taylor could cause less casualties in her activities (inadvertent as they are). But I definitely like it so far. 4/5.

 

This is a fantastic story that deserves a place in the library. The writing is very sound, the alternative plot is just starting to thicken and the action is entertaining. I think even Wildbow would approve of this fic.

5/5

 

Amazing Worm fic, and I'm eagerly waiting where it goes.

I meant to get to sleep early today, and yet 3 hours later I was still reading. The most praise I can give it, really.

 

Probably the best pure Worm fic written. When I read it I feel like I'm reading Worm. I only regret that i have but 5 stars to give this masterpiece.

 

5/5 given with no compunctions. Besides Taylor being fantastically written, nearly every character in the story is a pleasure to read about, from Carol to Lung.

Lovely stuff.

 

This is the one worm fic I am following most eagerly.
5/5

 

I love half being in this fic.

 

This fic is nowhere good as people thing it is. It's a typical fix it fic, or perhaps you can call it Indy!Taylor or NSA!Taylor. The amount of times she literally lucks into the next plot point is staggering, well into double digits probably, just because she happens to be listening through her bugs at the exact right moment.

It's so heavy handed with the author's foreknowledge that it actually rips me from the immersion. There's no reason to be name dropping alan gramme, the sleeper, or glastig, other than for some shallow attempt at worldbuilding. For one thing, Glastig has probably been in the bird cage longer than Taylor has been alive. I didn't think Lung's fight with Leviathan was public knowledge (since it was only mention in his interlude I think), but apparantly it is. And apparantly Krieg is (or was) in brockton bay, for no other reason that the author needed an E88 guy to fill Kaiser's spot, so he takes a guy from canon who has never even set foot in the city. Makes sense.

I never get the sense of urgency with this story, despite the very rapid series of escalating conflicts. Danny dies early on, but as a reader, we have no emotional attachment to this character who got 0 screen time in the story, so it's impact is largely lost, and is just a plot advancement tool. This happens, because apparantly Shadowstalker learned of her identity. well, that didn't take long.
This then begins a long series of NSA!Taylor lucking into every single plot point. First, she overhears the word Skitter and thinks THAT'S MY NAME NOW! Sure. Then he finds Kaiser, then Lung, the Lung tells her about coil's base (why would he know). Then she finds the base, and coil. SHe also finds dinah, and noelle's vault. She the follows coil home, learns of his double identity as thomas calvert, learns that dinah is a precog, learns that jackslash is going to cause the apocalypse, overhears the words Cauldron, learns that both trickster and tattletale are working for him, learns about coils 96% chance to die at the neutral ground, so naturally if he goes his power must involve a body double...

Let's talk about the actual killing. Bakuda is killed in record time. Kaiser is set up not long after. Krieg meets his end, and then coil does shortly after. I may have missed someone, but it all happens rediculous quick, but the reader never gets the sense of urgency, or desperation. It's all just a stompfest for Skitter, who happens to now be rich (including cliche shopping scenes) and have connections with both Quinn, the wards, new wave, and the villains.

Let's talk about the severe pacing issues, and the very heavyhanded method the author uses to foreshadow. I will take an example of how this is done in Harry Potter. He goes back in time to his first year, retaining all his knowledge of his future self. The first thing he does is escape from the dursleys. Then, he captures wormtail, and get's Sirius free. He goes to the goblins sometime during this, leanrs of stuff he didn't know even in the future. He also runs intellectual circles around 'Dumbles', all while hunting horcruxes and getting to know his 11 year old future wife, and live happily ever after. That is what this story is coming off as, and that's not a good thing. I guess it's the novelty of this being one of the first Worm fics, but I can't help but feel this is going to be the type of story that doesn't age well at all.

Let's take an example of some of the heavyhanded author manipulation. For example, Notes mentions that Taylor is carrying a pepper bomb. As readers, this sticks out since is different than canon, so obviously, the author has a use for it. Sure enough, like a page later, she uses it. How anticlamatic. In canon, the first mention of Taylor having Epipens is like in the first chapter. She never actually uses them until fifteen arcs later. Yeah. That's just one small example, but pretty much every single plot point is exactly like that. Setup -> brief conflict -> conclusion. Look at the parahumans online forum interlude. Someone states the obvious by saying something like 'would honestly anyone be surprised is Brockton Bay is the next endbringer target'. Of course, this author wouldn't be that obvious, would he? Yes, he would be. Minutes later, Leviathan is there. The whole story is filled with this kind of thing, and it doesn't make for a good read.

Also, someone above me mention that the writing style is silimar to Wildbow's, and having read the various Arcs of worm ranging anywhere from 1 to 4 times each, I can say that's not true at all. The exposition is very lacking. It's all inner monologue, with Taylor 'cleverly' (and I mean, not cleverly) figuring out the thinly veiled plot. An overabundance of exclamation marks are use to denote when Taylor makes a 'great discover' but it's always with flimsy or obvious logic. Emotional scenes are written strictly with one sentence paragraphs, which aren't nearly as hard-hitting as you think they are. And the inner monologues just tend to drone on and on. The funeral scene was just a shapeless mess of words, with no real emotional impact. And a scene like where Taylor is rationalizition that coils soldiers have military training just goes on and on. Then you have the near constant introspection of 'Should I kill Bakuda?' Should I not kill Bakuda? 'Should I kill Krieg?' Should I not kill Krieg?' Should I kill Coil? ' Should I not kill Coil? And then theres some mental terminal after actually seeing the results of her action, but again, it never feels real. I never get the sense of urgency or desperation or remorse during any of her actions, unlike what the author wants us to think.

So yeah, there's some honest criticism for you

 

I honestly don't think we're reading the same story the way you describe it.

 

You think this is a fix-it fic, Anarchy? Have you ignored the way the city is worse off than canon due to all the destruction, as Taylor kills all the people who could have helped fight off Leviathan? She doesn't even have any emotional support due to Tattletale keeping her distance (and seeming being afraid of her). If this fic doesn't have a sequel, I'm genuinely expecting Taylor to commit suicide by Lung.

 

I think what Anarchy's comparing it to are all the Indy!HP fix-it-fics where Harry grows a spine and then WTF!pwns everyone.

To be fair, Taylor does pretty much WTF!pwn everyone here.

Also, to be fair, Anarchy spelled a lot of shit wrong and had terrible formatting in that post, so I'm sort of convinced he was hammered when he wrote that. Or at least, in such a rage that it simply poured out of him vomit style.

 

I have to agree on some points, now that I'm caught up. I haven't liked some of the more recent developments (the thing with Krieg namely), and you're right, some stuff is too convenient and it does get a little too close to bad indy Harry Potter stories in some ways.

What I liked from the start was that Taylor was independent of the heroes or villains, and that's still something I like (though I'd also like to read a story where she's a straight hero -- joins the Wards like in the beginning of this fic, but no bomb or dead dad). And I like how she does everything remotely.

 

Anarchy, I've never read Worm, I've never read this, but sometimes I think you say you don't like fics just because they're highly rated.

Are you done with that Iron Maiden loving Daphne Greengrass fic yet, btw? :awesome

 

I kinda felt it was a bit of a fix-it - all of Taylor's plans work without a hitch and she manages to orchestrate or personally get involved with taking down pretty much all the villains in the city. And while doing that, she pretty much maintains a positive relationship with anyone that is likeable - the Undersiders, Purity, the Wards and New Wave.

But at the same time, as a person, she's transforming into something pretty ugly. Unlike her canon-self, she's not even keeping the unspoken Cape Code. It's going to bite her back. So I think despite the fact things are going so well now, it's just building up to something a lot more negative.

4/5. Despite being the best Worm fic I've read so far, don't think it's quite 5/5 material.

 

I had a longer post to begin with, that I started the night before I went to work, but when I got back home, I lost it and had to redo it (something about the post timing out), so I sort of rushed it since I was frustrated. The original was much more focused and categorical (and proofread). Plus I only had 2 hours of sleep. I was originally going to post it in the actually WBA thread, but it didn't look like anyone was actually giving any criticism, so I figured that this site isn't where it originated from and would be pointless.

Also, I don't hate every fic just because it's rated high, I hate reading a highly rated fic and being disappointed. For the record, I read Ryuugi's LungPowerset!Taylor and enjoyed that, since it had no pretenses about what the story was trying to do. This story just has many of the things I dislike about fanfiction, without any particularly brilliant insights that would otherwise make it enjoyable.

Oh, and for the record, I don't think this is a bad fic. I think it's the extreme lack of noncrossover Worm fics that makes the readable fics seem better than they actually are. I don't rate fics by comparing them to the fandom. If every fic was a 2 star fic, then I would rate them all like that, and not take the best fic and scale the rest to it.

 

Heads up, looks like Notes is writing a sequel. It's only on Space Battles at the moment so if you can't tollerate the mindless drivel of their threads, you are out of luck.

http://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/working-title-worm-au.305014/

Only what looks to be a prologue at the moment, but hey, it's a sequel to one of the best completed Worm fics.

 

Blame the present lack of mirroring on some ridiculous travel issues. Haven't been back at my computer since before I started. Assume people here would rather have it here, in WBA?