As some of you know, I'm writing my first serious attempt at FanFiction, with my story Harry Potter and the Crimson King.

It's not gotten off to the best start, but I am on the right track now. I am about half way through the third chapter, which will probably be the make or brake for my fic. I would like some feedback from DLP on the setting for the plot of this chapter and the next few.

Be honest, I need all the help I can get. Also I suggest before giving advice it would be better to read the fic if you hadn't, its not a big read and can be found in the work by author section

Chapter 3

Begins in Diagon Alley, with Harry meeting Narcissa down a back alley, to complete his plan. He needs her to assemble a team of wizards to go hunting for an artifact in a huge magical Eastern European Forest. He also needs Narcissa to get his wand from Hogwarts, where Dumbledore took it once Harry underwent his change.

Narcissa agrees to this, for Harry has several bargining chips. One of these is that he states he will get rid of the Death Eaters now following Narcissa. Harry then proceeds to trick the DE's to think that Narcissa is in a room in the Leaky Caldron, and Harry proceeds to slaughter all of them.

Chapter 4

Harry gets his wand back, and the student that helps them names their price for getting to wand back. Harry learns that his magic has become erratic and uncontrollable. He sets out with Narcissa and the student to meet the rest of the team Narcissa has hired with her contacts.

They arrive in Eastern Europe and go into the forest and find that Voldemort has changed Durmstrang into a Dark Wizards training Narcissi. Harry must find a way to find the artefact (which is guarded by Ancient Vampires) and deal a blow to Voldemort with the Dark Wizard School.


That is the basic premise for the fic, also with Harry trying to deal with his new powers and trying to become more human, though still a bad assed mofo.

I would like opinions on the storyline and setting, cause I value DLP's opinions, for we are the Elite of HP fanfiction.