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Abandoned Child of Mercy by Fayr Warning - K (but its hardcore)

Discussion in 'Dark Arts' started by ChuckDaTruck, Oct 8, 2005.

  1. Mage

    Mage Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Apr 18, 2006
    Washington, DC
    Well I finally put down a good review for your other story so I suppose its only fair I do the same for this one. Il start off with what just strikes me right off the bat, first off excellent portrayal of Harry as an emotionally detached independent but you also manage to factor in that he is a young kid, kudos for that. The story also has interesting take on magic, what with the wavelengths and such it's always nice as a reader to find new takes on it.

    Now onto the parts I feel are a little week in your story. First off does Harry use a wand or not, you seem to give the impression that he doesn't yet he is always using it, or is that just for show around other people? If he doesn't need it then is it possible for him to use it, or can he just manipulate the molecules around him with his mind/hands/w/e due to the results of the AK.

    Another thing that strikes me as a bit OC for your Harry are how easily he takes to people, you describe him as being solitary and cold, and when he first meets people he does have that reaction. However it seems like he is at least vaguely friendly to everybody that doesnt try to harm him. An example of this, while not so much friendly but still OC, is Harry going back to the Dursley's. I know you gave a reason for it but it honestly seemed half-assed, he really didnt have anything to gain from it and even if he did think Hogwarts was going to be boring wouldn't he have free reign of exploring the castle and not have to put up with his relatives?

    Lastly is that this story seems to lack a distinct plot. You seem to just be writing as you go along with no clear idea of what direction you are going, and while it is still a great read how long can you keep up the same level? Although with the last chapter there seems to be some more plot development so we'll see where that goes next chapter.

    Now onto the ego stroking, jk just well deserved compliments on things that I found great about this story. It is one of the first stories that gives a reasonable picture of Harry growing without him being an emo convinced his life is worthless. Most stories just gloss over it or doing a ** job of it. You even gave a very plausible reason for Dumbledore so all in all a great job on this part.

    The middle is a little more bland but there are some very good points to it such as Flint. This is first time I've really seen him characterized and is done very well. The conversations between Harry and him flow nicely and are entertaining to read. His group is also unique and having him almost mentor Harry should be interesting throughout the story. Also having Harry drink firewhiskey as a first year made me lol.

    The latests chapter is excellent, it really kicks up the story now that things are finally happening. THe mirror exploding was a completely new plot twist as far as I have seen, and hopefully it will create some interesting things. By interesting I mean good, I'll be disappointed if he gets weaker or something.
  2. AllieWay

    AllieWay Backtraced

    Oct 19, 2007
    I wont say this is dark harry... >.>
  3. ligerzero

    ligerzero Looked into the void

    Dec 19, 2007
    why would i tell you
    good story

    finally a harry potter acting like tom.:) :) :)
  4. Chicklepea

    Chicklepea Third Year

    Jan 4, 2008
    This is a great story, but not a DarkHarry. In fact, the author states that in the notes at some point.

    I do really like it though, and Flint is well done. I'm curious to see how it will turn out, but I'm also not too sure if it will be updated. I mean...it has been a while.
  5. Demons In The Night

    Demons In The Night Chief Warlock

    Jan 11, 2008
    Yeah. Fayre Warning is a great author. Reign of Power is a classic and Child of Mercy is a really nice take on the whole first year rewrite where Harry is Slytherin. It avoids a lot of the cliches and it has a lot of great ideas. It's just too bad she updates really infrequently.
  6. MellowYellow

    MellowYellow Fourth Year DLP Supporter

    Jan 8, 2008
    Good story, good author and good characters. Its too bad she doesn't update frequently.

    I give it 3/5.
  7. Cathal

    Cathal Sir Nils' Right Hand

    Nov 23, 2007
    One of the best stories I've read in a while. Its only downside, in my opinion, is its update rate. (Nothing new to say here) Everything else about it is brilliant.
  8. Syndari

    Syndari Muggle

    Feb 22, 2008
    United States
    Like most of the others who posted, I too think that the story is very good, and it's sad to see that her updates are so infrequent. The way she portrays Harry is fascinating, and I really do hope that she hasn't abandoned the fic (although I think that that hope is in vain).