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WIP Circular Reasoning by Swimdraconian - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by ip82, Apr 10, 2006.

  1. Swimdraconian

    Swimdraconian Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    I am never writing another chapter this long again.

    Never. Pain in the fucking ass.

    Now watch me try to outdo myself next time and go for 15,000.

    OFF TOPIC: Who would I go to in order to get a kick-ass banner thingy like NMB?
     
  2. Garrus

    Garrus Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

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    That's the best news I've heard all day.
     
  3. Swimdraconian

    Swimdraconian Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    I'm just waiting to hear back from my beta and then I'll start putting things up in WBA.

    Edit: Chapter posted on pc and ff.net.
     
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2009
  4. redshell

    redshell Order Member

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    I was a bit leery of this fic at first, due to it being multi-het. Call me old-fashioned, but there you go. It just doesn't work out 90% of the time. In any case, this fic is incredible. The fact that the war is portrayed realistically is a great plus to it, in my opinion. A bunch of wet-behind-the-ears kids aren't going to be able to take on hardened killers in a straight-up fight without some serious luck, divine influence, or significant help.

    If I'm not mistaken, the reason that Harry uses charmed pistols is because of the war, and the Light getting desperate for an edge.

    As for the interaction between Harry and Shorner as well as the other members of the Department of Mysteries, well, I'm getting the impression that he actually realises that these people are fundamentally different than the ones he knew during the war, which, in my opinion, is a very good thing and something that some authors could potentially overlook, so I applaud you for that.

    My sentiments on his interactions with his classmates are much the same as the above, especially his realizing that he's talking to a 13-year old, and not the man that he's bled alongside.

    His personality, though, I think, is one of the best parts of it all. He's ruthlessly efficient, and his jaded views are very realistic for what he's done and seen. I would like to see some Harry/Death Eater interaction in the future, since I, for one, would find it very amusing for them to be expecting some angsty teenager only to find themselves on equal ground, if not slowly being beaten.

    I can't wait for more, and I'm hoping that this doesn't end up abandoned, so keep up the good work.

    5/5
     
  5. Swimdraconian

    Swimdraconian Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Updated again at pc and at ff.net.

    My plans are to finish reworking chapter six and then I'm going to tackle the prologue.
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2009
  6. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    Great twist on Pettigrew's location - he's totally nowhere anyone could have expected him to be. I'm hoping Harry's going to go over to Egypt and do some hardboiled investigating. I believe the setting shifts, namely the fairy Hall, Knockturn Alley and Brazil, are part of the early stage of the story's charm, and I personally would welcome more of it.
     
  7. Swimdraconian

    Swimdraconian Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Hee! I have places to go and things to describe! Next chapter I'll have more on Knockturn Alley, a bit of Egypt, and possibly a trip to Wizarding Miami. I'll probably also play around with the Chamber of Secrets.
     
  8. Amerision

    Amerision Galactic Sheep Emperor DLP Supporter

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    I've held this opinion for a long time, so I think it's time I come clean with it. I'll c/p my logs from DLP, edited for clarity:

    I want to clarify and say that it's some of the best Third Person writing I've seen.

    RustyRed is doing some fairly good work for her content, but her ace in the hole comes in the sheer mood and atmosphere of the story, not actual style. You tie Michael Carey in overall (he's got some amazing first person going on in Felix Castor).

    Yeah, the story itself is interesting and all, but I'm not ashamed to say I would read your work if it described paint drying. I read it for your style. The story is just a plus.
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2009
  9. Swimdraconian

    Swimdraconian Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Amer, I have a shit-eating grin stretched ear to ear across my face. I'll make you a deal, if I ever become rich and famous, I'll be happy to send you a free copy.

    Seriously though, this forum has been instrumental in my improvement as a writer. People don't give this place half the recognition it deserves.
     
  10. jpdt19

    jpdt19 Fourth Year DLP Supporter

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    I'd have to agree with Amer

    This story is absolutely fantastic. Words don't do it justice!
     
  11. psihary

    psihary Groundskeeper

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    I got an e-mail alert from PatronusCharm for Circular Reasoning being updated (it was about time for that to happen!), but since it's been quite some time since the story has been updated with full chapters, I want to reread it from the beginning.

    So I was wondering if the version at PC has all the edits and changes Swim was talking about in the WbA thread (can't find the relevant posts, but I remember reading something about a rewrite of the beginning of the story), or is it the same story with new chapters posted to it?
     
  12. Swimdraconian

    Swimdraconian Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    I'm not through with all of the rewrites, but I'm working on it. I'm using PC as an archive atm, so I can look over the story as a whole and figure out where the plot breaks and other inconsistencies are.

    As of right now I have the first two rewritten chapters up along with the new material. I'm working on finishing the rest of this redo project as soon as possible - I'm sick myself of going over old material time and time again.

    Hope this answers everything.
     
  13. Rubicon

    Rubicon High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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    4/5. Could by 5/5 once you're done with it.

    I have to say, you have a really sick mind. The part where Harry wears the sliced-off face of a dead guy over his own face... is pretty disturbing. But in a good way. I bet you read a lot of Chuck Palahniuk, because you write a lot like him.

    Are you planning to have Harry stay at Hogwarts long? Part of me hopes not...
     
  14. Swimdraconian

    Swimdraconian Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    I'm sad to say I've never read Palahniunk despite the fact I have one of his books sitting in my bookcase. And the way things are going with the story, I sincerely doubt Harry will be at Hogwarts for more than six more chapters.
     
  15. 13thadaption

    13thadaption Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, get around to reading Palahniunk. I've never read anyone who writes quite like him.

    Beyond the fact that you both write about some pretty sick stuff (a practice I urge you to continue*), I don't think the two of you sound very similar. His stuff is kinda surreal(in some cases a lot surreal), where as your writing is gritty and realistic(ish, considering the setting). I'd say his writing is more gory, but yours is more violent, if that makes any sense to you.

    * It's alright when it's you.
     
  16. Swimdraconian

    Swimdraconian Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Gory?

    /raises eyebrow

    I can only imagine the direction my writing might take with his influence.
     
  17. 13thadaption

    13thadaption Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

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    I'm going to refine my previous statement. Not everything he writes is gory. A lot of it is mind-fuckery a la Fight Club (to use the commonly known example). On the other hand, Guts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0ln9ZQY_V4
     
  18. Swimdraconian

    Swimdraconian Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH THE REWRITES! A REGULAR POSTING SCHEDULE WILL NOW COMMENCE. WOO-HOOOOOOOO!!!1!!!!11!!!11!1!!!

    /crying with relief
     
  19. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Which chapters apart from the Prologue, 1, and 2 have been rewritten (significantly)?
     
  20. Swimdraconian

    Swimdraconian Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    I know this is going to sound flippant, but all of them. I've made a number of small, yet weighty changes to all of the chapters in CR - you find a lot of things falling out quite a bit differently than they did before.