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Abandoned Control by Anonymous58 - M

Discussion in 'Dark Arts' started by Andro, Apr 13, 2010.

  1. Speakers

    Speakers Backtraced

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    Knowing dumbledore, he'll probably put Tonks down there in the lake. And then Harry will tear shit up because of it.
     
  2. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Murdering the village merman was done by Shezza imo.
     
  3. Knyght

    Knyght Alchemist

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    Yeah, but they were possessed and attacked him first.
     
  4. hexokinase

    hexokinase Banned

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    @vincent: "Dragons also breath fire."

    Yeah that could certainly be one theme amongst others in the first task. Another might be (heard the phrase look underneath the underneath? this is a bit far-fetched I know but..) money, or gold and treasure in specific. The proof I offer: golden egg, dragons dig treasure (lord of rings hobbit dragon treasure etc), the tournament has prize money. But they seem to be minor in comparison to flying. We only see the tournament taking place through third person personal rather than third person omniscient. We see through Harry's eyes. How does he deal with the dragon? By outflying it... hence maybe flying and more general, keeping in line that each task is tailored to a certain element, air is the element for the first task, water for second task, land for third task.
     
  5. frosty

    frosty Muggle

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    5/5

    Incredibly awesome fic that is worth the effort to read
     
  6. Nauro

    Nauro Headmaster

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    @hexokinase & vincent:
    Actually, supposedly* Rowling has said something about the task elements in an interview.

    On the fic itself, it's kind of crazy from my point of view - i definitely remember reading something from it... The beginning, at least, seems awkwardly familiar. Yet I don't remember anything about reading past three chapters, maybe I just didn't mark it, and was reading something else at the same time...
    Will probably try another go. In general, the start is moderately strong, and at least it has explanations for Harry trying to get control of his life.
    I'll probably say something more only when I finish it, though.

    Nauro.

    *I can't find the source quickly, just the same thing quoted a few times in the internet.., supposedly it was said at q&a session in Edinburgh International Book Festival. It's Rowlingish enough to be true, so it probably is.
     
  7. psihary

    psihary Groundskeeper

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    Comparing the tournament tasks to the elements discussion = FAIL!
    /where do you people come up with those, really!?

    The chapter was awesome! The fight with the Dragon, the reaction of the officials, Charlie Weasley and Snape were awesome.

    Daphne , Blaise and Tracy are absolutely awesome, as the minor background coloring characters they are.

    Really looking forward to the next one. Can't wait to see the repercussions that Harry will inevitably have to deal with. I hope the author will deal with them in a way that will build up to Harry's character.
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2011
  8. Pirazy

    Pirazy Groundskeeper

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    ..Did Neville really faint when faced with the dragon? And this is the one Dumbledore hopes will confront Voldemort? Dumbledore getting the psychopathic monster known as Harry out of jail makes more and more sense the further the story progresses.

    In other news, fucking love this fic. This is what the Harry in Growing up Black should have been, only with less batshitinsane. Awesome.
     
  9. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Holy fuck, this latest chapter was insane.

    Also, tug-of-war between Daphne and Tonks. Trololol.
     
  10. Infidel

    Infidel Auror

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    I found the interaction between Harry and Daphne boring. I'm surprised that she has some control over his actions. The rest of the chapter was great. Dumbledore's character is spot on.

    Love the direction this fic is taking and the update speed.
     
  11. Tenages

    Tenages Order Member DLP Supporter

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    The scenes is Harry's "mindscape" just need to stop. I get the symbolism thats supposed to be there but it's just hamfisted and dumb. The utterly predictable and equally pointless explanation of Occlumency and the science of it / intent in magic was completely cringeworthy as well.

    The relationship with Daphne is also getting worse I think. It's clear that she's hung up on him and needs him for protection, or her plans, or whatever. But there's no reason for her ability to make him stop, and to calm him and to generally lead him around. Tonks does it, but he has a longstanding relationship with Tonks, and that makes sense. He has no such deep relationship with Daphne and we've not seen him really do anything to build one. It's shoehorned in for the sake of more conflict and to add a twist.
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2011
  12. Fatality

    Fatality Order Member

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    I have to agree with Tenages on both accounts. The various parts related to occlumency are far and away the worst bits of this fic. I've also never been a fan of Daphne "the Diva" Greengrass, and her sudden ability to influence Harry has me somewhat confused, as I don't feel there is any reason behind it.
     
  13. Lungs

    Lungs KT Loser ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Oh, I just read this recently, and it's just as good as everyone says it is :3
     
  14. Pirazy

    Pirazy Groundskeeper

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    Harry's interaction with Dumbledore is as annoying as it is awesome. Although it has started to become tiresome just how easily Dumbledore slaps Harry down when he's starting to tear at the leash, he isn't even threatening Harry with something viable. Oh noes! He won't make arrangements for Tonks to patrol at Hogwarts! Whatever is Harry to do?! Maybe sneak down to Hogsmeade and hijack a floo like he did before the tournament without anybody finding out? If he wanted to cow Harry into obedience he'd threaten him with another stay in Azkaban, or telling Tonks the truth about the possession, seeing as how he's aware of just how close the two of them are.

    It's not as if Harry's without leverage either, his promise to protect Neville is in no way binding and since Dumbledore's apparently decided not to interfere no matter what then the saviour's life is in Harry's hands. Not to mention decieving the courts and having a guilty man released from Azkaban. Then there's that whole neglect and abuse thing he ignored for no other reason than that his mind can't wrap itself around the possibility that people who are family might not like each other. Dumbledore might have the upper hand but he shouldn't be able to boss Harry around so easily and without consequence.

    Oh well, looking forward to his eventual comeuppance, it's been long overdue.
     
  15. Trig

    Trig Unspeakable

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    I get where you're coming from, but I disagree. This is a perfect threat coming from Dumbledore. He shows Harry that he still knows him, knows what's important to him and tries to enforce Harry's compliance by using his affection towards Tonks.

    Telling her the truth or imprisoning him again would pretty much ruin Harry's life, this way Dumbledore is slowly and subtly coaxing some sort of positive emotion out of him.

    This is definitely one of the best characterizations of Dumbledore I've read in the last couple of months.
     
  16. Paradosi

    Paradosi Fourth Year

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    He's a bit more of a manipulative ass than he is in canon of course, but still rather believable. The canon Dumbledore ruthlessly used Snape's love for Lily for the greater good, he even planned to raise Harry to sacrifice himself to kill Voldemort(which he himself had a hand in creating by his own inaction). Yet canon Dumbledore was also very kind and understanding. He also was a capable headmaster/teacher.

    All in all, I'm rather liking this Dumbledore. He's very very flawed, but that just makes him all the more human. Though I'd have thought he would have learned his lesson from Tom Riddle, he should have believed Harry when he said his relatives hated him. It's not like it's an impossible occurrence.

    Then again, Harry does kind of make it easy for people not to believe him.
     
  17. Zansa

    Zansa Fourth Year

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    I think Harry's relationship with Daphne is pretty believable, actually. If I recall correctly, he did potions with her all of first year. Even though they didn't really socialize, she and Tonks were the only two people Harry spent any significant time around, and of those two Tonks was the only one he socialized with.

    He already had the basis of a relationship with Daphne when he got back, and he was forced into spending time with Daphne and her friends. Now over the course of months talking to Daphne and her friends every day he's beginning to treat Daphne with a little respect. Unlike Tracey and Zabini, she doesn't push his buttons, she just tries to calm him down. She knows his secret, and hasn't told anybody. She hasn't done anything that would show she's not trustworthy, or anything less than a friend, and he still treats her little better than everyone else, but you can see that he's beginning to like her.

    He still isn't exactly "nice" to her and still enjoys watching her suffer, as demonstrated with the chair, but he's not going out of his way to be crude or offensive to her either.

    And I don't know where people are getting her ability to control him from. He knew what he was doing was wrong when he drew his wand on Tracey, he just doesn't have the relationship with her that he has with Daphne, however shallow that relationship is. If Tonks was there he probably wouldn't have even drew his wand, because he actively considers Tonks's feelings and knows she looks down on that. He didn't consider Daphne until she put herself in his way, and over such a trifling matter, why wouldn't he back down? I'm sure if this was a more serious scenario he would have brushed her to the wayside with scarcely a thought.
     
  18. Crimson13

    Crimson13 Professor

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    I gotta agree with Tenages and Fatality with the mindscapes and Daphne, the mindscape/Occlumency thing seems...out of place and the author keeps on bringing it up.

    Harry should have no problem with Daphne pushing him around or clinging to him like she matters. He has a long history with Tonks and tolerates her and with Bellatrix he finds someone who understands his need for the Dark Arts and superiority. Daphne latches on to Harry with none of those is shows up as irritating and clingy. Also, "Diva Mode" is fucking stupid.
     
  19. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    It wasn't the best update, but it wasn't horrible either. I still maintain that Daph and Co add to the story in a good way. Tonks... Im actually not so much of a fan of Tonks though. Just seems annoying.

    Looking forward to more, of course.
     
  20. Tenages

    Tenages Order Member DLP Supporter

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    I agree that Daph and Co add to the story positively. They're actually one of my preferred points. I just think he's pushing the Daph/Harry relationship too far too fast without any visible natural growth or in-story buildup.