LOL! Read the first few paragraphs, and it begins similarly to something I had started writing some years back. Like everything else, I add to it sometimes, and actually had it open earlier tonight.

Slytherin girl moves in. Stops to gawk at neighbor boy doing yard work. Realizes it's Harry Potter.

Now I have to read it just to see what happens when one publishes what they write.

 

I liked this story. It was believable, and enjoyable.
I'm giving this a 4/5 because while I definitely think it deserves a spot in the Library under "Romance" I'm saving 5/5 for the real diamonds among the jewels.
I think this is a good example of a light-hearted romance story. Light-hearted =/= bad.

Edit: If that horrible, horrible Adele Polkiss story made it to the Library, then this one sure as fuck should.

 

I haven't read this story and don't plan to. That said, you shut your whore mouth about Hocus Pocus, Adele Polkiss.

If you want to lambast a "romance" story lauded by a bunch of DLPers, try that insipid, condescending attempt at avant garde Angels Don't Live Here. Sesc and others gushed over it, but it was about as much a Harry Potter story as Newt Gingrich is a human being; that is to say, it looks like it until you actually think about it.

 

LOL.

I didn't know what to think of Angels Don't Live Here when I first read it and I still don't, but I can totally get behind Hocus Pocus, Adele Polkiss, and the alleged whorishness of Republic21's mouth.

You don't fuck with Adele! :awesome
She'll brain you with that gaudy wand of hers.

 

It started pretty bland, but it did grow on me. There are occasional spelling errors, but not enough to be really annoying (although I've seen a fair share of 1's instead of I's), characterization is okayish and it's fairly pleasant to read. Not quite 4/5 material, but above 3/5, so I'll reserve my opinion until it's finished.

 

This was passably readable fluff for the first 20 chapters and then rapidly became awesome. 4/5

 

Was a fairly interesting story for me to read. Probably the best thing he wrote, and I had some fun reading it.

The plot hook (Tracey moving near Potter) being pointed out as impossible in story didn't break the suspension of disbelief for me. But yeah, pointing your own low probability presumptions doesn't strike me as a good idea.

All in all, something of a 3.5/5 for me.

I don't think there's anything to add that wasn't said before.

 

I liked it, but I don't think I can honestly give it more than a 3/5. There's just too much objectively wrong with it for any more than that.

 

Apparently it's over. The ending was surprising but strangely satisfying. At least the author is striving to be original.

Spoiler

Harry dies.

 

Striving to be original doesn't reconcile the fact that this story, in the last chapters, completely squanders any sort of potential that it might have eked out, and completely fails to suffice as a decent ending

Seriously, the ending lacked any sort of emotion or passion, and felt more than anything like the author rushing to the end because there were no more ideas to be had. I mean, really? That's all you've got? A 'tell-not-show' disaster that somehow manages the double task of being both tepid and frustrating?

Yeah, this story deserves a 2/5. Talk about ending way too quickly, with no pacing and less dignity.

 

I'll agree that ever since Voldemort showed up things went to hell. The last chapter was horrendous.

As I said in my review, in which I somewhat-raged, I don't usually mind when that happens. It's just it completely destroyed everything the rest of the story tried to achieve.

The ending was such a disapointment. I'm not sure if it's enough reason for me to change my rating. I think that 24 out of 25 chapters did a pretty good job, so I'm gonna try and just ignore the one that didn't.

 

I could tell from the outset and mediocre writing in the first chapter that the writer lacked the quality to come up with a good ending.

 

I despaired at

I mean, the physical strength of true love? Tackling him is almost as stupid as killing him with a disarming... oh, right. I like the audacity, but it wasn't a new concept: plenty of people thought Harry might die before the final book came out. This just crammed two and a half books' worth of events into one chapter to do it.

 

So much potential in the buildup to Fudge confronting Dumbledore, still lots of potential when Harry was about to lead a rebellion against Umbridge, and still some potential when Voldemort invaded in a big twist.

And all of it wasted in chapter 25. My naive hopes that a romance fic would develop into a cool action fic were for naught. Revised to 3/5.

 

I don't mind that Harry died in the end. I dislike the ending overall. As some people mentioned earlier it felt quite rushed...
I would have liked to see how that 'rebelion' would have turned out if Voldemort arrived later on. Or how the 'upcoming' meeting with the ICW was going to be. Even a real resolution to the Dumbledore versus Fudge conflict. All that tension building for naught.

Still, it was a good read. I had already rated it 3.5 rounded up and am keeping it. I think it deserves a place in the library... Despite the ending.

 

Not sure if trolling or not, but my issue isn't that there isn't a happy ending - frankly, I have no qualms with there being an ending where the good guys don't always win everything, where relationships fail and ultimately things don't work out.

No, my issue is that the last chapters of this story are horribly paced and lack any dramatic tension whatsoever. The author tells far more than he/she shows, and the build-up to the final fight came way too fast and was completely empty of context or substance. The fact that the entire final fight was told from the perspective of Hermione's book completely encapsulates the problem: the author had no idea how to properly build to a dramatic climax and resolution, so it's rushed through and completely fucking weightless. I didn't have a problem with the admittedly tepid romance because it was at least interestingly paced and kind of entertaining to read. The most recent chapters show the author trying his/her chops at a more 'adventure/action' mold of a story, and instead of being willing to place the characters in difficult or stressful situations and bring out any vestige of emotion in the reader, it ends very poorly and lazily.

So yeah, it didn't fail because it was a 'sad' ending - it failed because the last chapters were a squiddering spray of rat feces - small, ugly, and ultimately not worthy of attention.

 

Fuck that ending. Protagonist losing gets 1/5 from me. It has no place in the library.

 

Oh lol. When I said I saw a surprise ending coming, I didn't quite mean that.

 

Spoiler

So Snape, who has about 2 minutes airtime is the one that kills Voldemort.

Where did that come from?

The end of Chapter 24 game out of nowhere but could be forgiven for bringing on the second half of the story. Chapter 25... wow.