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Crack'd Mirror by cloneserpents - M

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Anubis, Feb 3, 2008.

  1. Anubis

    Anubis Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2007
    Messages:
    242
    Title: Crack'd Mirror
    Author: cloneserpents
    Rating: M
    Genre: Erotic Comedy
    DLP Category: Humor/Parody, Restricted Section
    Pairing: Harry/Multiple
    Status: WIP

    Summary: What happens when a botched ritual switches a Harry from an evil mirror universe with our hero? Will the world survive? Post OotP Parody/Erotic Comedy
    Link: http://www.ficwad.com/story/88710


    There's only a Prologue and the first Chapter of this story up so far, but they make it pretty clear what vein the story is going to take place in. It's in the same vein as Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor, a story that has kept me very amused throughout, but with a different premise. It's because it's in that same vein that I'm posting it up now rather than 4 or 5 more chapters in, because the author has already proven with Sword of Gryffindor that he's got talent at maintaining his standard at this sort of thing.
    Hopefully he will write more quickly. 10k is the length right now, and it kept me laughing most of the way through it.

    4/5 from me.
     
  2. Lincos

    Lincos Professor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2007
    Messages:
    402
    Location:
    Liverpool, UK
    Cloneserpents attempts humor/parody again.... and fails..... again.

    I just don't find his fics funny what so ever. I guess its just me since everyone seems to love them. Oh well.
     
  3. SmileOfTheKill

    SmileOfTheKill Magical Amber

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2007
    Messages:
    1,216
    Location:
    Florida, Sigh...
    If a humor fic doesn't make me laugh, it gets a 1/5.
    This didn't make me laugh.
    It is very a bad story.
     
  4. Link

    Link Order Member DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2006
    Messages:
    846
    Location:
    China
    He keeps stacking humor upon humor... and too much humor kills the humor.

    But well, 1/5 is what we give to utterly worthless stories, and that one may be funny if your drunk/high and don't have anything else to do with your time, so I'll give it a 2/5
     
  5. Cathal

    Cathal Sir Nils' Right Hand

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2007
    Messages:
    433
    Location:
    Canada
    Meh. Gave me a chuckle or two but nothing more. Poor spelling and grammar too. So far, I'd give it 2/5 but it's only two chapters so I wont rate it. Maybe it will get better.
     
  6. Testament

    Testament Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2007
    Messages:
    235
    I must have missed the humor since I didn't find anything that could even make me chuckle.

    The fic isn't exactly terrible, in fact, I think this one has a pretty good plot device. Just tone down the supposed humor, fix up the spelling/grammar, maybe flesh it out a bit and it could become a fic with great potential.

    Sadly, rating it under its genre I would give it a 2.5/5, not terrible but not good either.
     
  7. Lincos

    Lincos Professor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    402
    Location:
    Liverpool, UK
    If a good author use that plot then a good story could come of it.
     
  8. Link

    Link Order Member DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2006
    Messages:
    846
    Location:
    China
    Yeah, it may be an interesting idea for an independent Harry fanfiction. Kinda like "Stranger in a Unholy Land" where the Dark Prince (evil Harry) is thrown in Harry's original dimension (even though we don't see what happened meanwhile).
     
  9. gummiball

    gummiball Squib

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2008
    Messages:
    18
    Location:
    Austria
    The idea is good, the execution however rather bad.
    The authors stile is very much like telling a joke and forgetting - or poorly delivering - the punchline.

    I'd rather see this written as a non-humor fic. Could be interesting.

    For now 2/5. Just not good enough for the library...
     
  10. Neo2b

    Neo2b First Year

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2007
    Messages:
    35
    The idea has merit, but the execution was just horrible.

    The first attempt at Ron bashing is rather pathetic, the tenth time it's even worse. Let's not forget Harry's 100 inch cock or the Voldemort with his o-so funny girly voice.

    But worst of all is the general OOC'ness of the characters.

    Even a 13 years old slash/mpreg fangirl would have written this piece of garbage better and that's saying something.

    This doesn't deserve the 1/5 I'm giving it, but I'm feeling rather generous.


    P.S.

    Inky, this isn't even funny when you're drunk or high.
     
  11. The Doctor

    The Doctor Unspeakable

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2007
    Messages:
    732
    Location:
    Australia
    Cloneserpents writes the exact same story?

    I'll pass.
     
  12. Niffler Lord

    Niffler Lord Headmaster

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2006
    Messages:
    1,137
    Location:
    Sri Lanka
    It was not bad I guess... I need to see more chapters before I decide.
     
  13. rj_stone2

    rj_stone2 Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2006
    Messages:
    229
    Location:
    New York
    This really isn't that similar to his other story, except for the presence of some raunchy humor. The Ron-bashing is pretty uninspired, but I like the premise, and I like the author enough to give him the benefit of the doubt.
     
  14. PlacatedTurtle

    PlacatedTurtle Backtraced

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2007
    Messages:
    95
    Location:
    England
    I couldn't make it more than half way through the first chapter, there are parts that are clearly meant to be funny, but anyone with an actual sense humour, or, in fact, anyone over the age of 5, wouldn't find it remotely humorous.
    1/5 from me.
     
  15. hance1986

    hance1986 Card Captored and buttsecksed

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2007
    Messages:
    39
    i really don't know why everyone is slamming this. i for one, like it. light and funny in it's own way. it's no shakespeare, but then again, shakespeare was an asshole.

    go cloneserpents!
     
  16. Chime

    Chime Dark Lord

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Messages:
    1,958
    1/5? This is hardly worthy of 1/5. It's not great, but it held my attention.

    The humor is... well I did smile in a few places, but it could use some tuning up in that regard. And I mean, on the number of errors alone, you can tell no one proofread the story at all.

    It's trash bin worthy, though, so there's no real point in debating this.

    2~/5
     
  17. runghen23

    runghen23 Squib

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2008
    Messages:
    9
    It's not really that bad but the storyline should have been better handled
     
  18. Kang

    Kang Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2007
    Messages:
    1,205
    Location:
    England
    Where Sword Of Gryffindor was funny because it was the first in its genre to be somewhat good, doing it again but with a really bad attempt of parody makes me sad. 2/5 - Leave it at Sword Of Gryffindor
    Ahsun
     
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