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WIP Crime and Commitment by serpentguy - T- Worm

Discussion in 'Worm' started by Nemrut, Jan 23, 2016.

  1. Blorcyn

    Blorcyn Auror DLP Supporter DLP Silver Supporter

    Oct 16, 2010
    So, I'll come back and edit this into a proper review soon. But, yeah, it's just won me over.

    It was almost there with the new wave siege and subsequent Cutthroat battle.

    But, I'm converted. This is definitely going to get a good review from me. That tattletale PHO interlude. The PMs. They made me pull a facial expression: something between perverse glee and 'oh, shit'.
  2. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

    Aug 9, 2009
    Department of Post-Mortem Communications
    High Score:
    So, good news, the author dropped a 20k update (2 chapters) and it was pretty awesome. Intense and gripping, every word. We got some great insight into the Wards and how they feel about this situation and how the whole kidnapped business is going.

    The bad news is, well, author also said this:

    Which is nothing short of a tragedy as this is, by far, hands down, the best Worm fic that's updating (relatively) right now and is almost certainly my favorite Worm fic.

    Author also said that the next two chapters were kinda in the works, so who knows, maybe inspiration grabs him again some time and he will return to finish this. Still, it has been a blast to read.
  3. Jarik

    Jarik Chief Warlock

    Feb 13, 2008
    I-what...no. He can't drop this! Amongst the sea of B-grade alt!power SpaceBattles fics, this is probably the only fic that can actually be considered a real story and not just a bunch of cool scenes or exploration of novel ideas since Cenotaph. And I don't think I have read a Worm fic - Cenotaph included - which has emotionally invested me as much as Crime and Commitment.

    There's so much interesting things happening and we haven't even seen the Slaughterhouse Nine yet. The Teeth, usually skipped over and boring in most fics, has become one of the most interesting Brockton Bay conflicts I've come across. This is after the author managed to make the post-Leviathan chaos which was the Lost Boys, Dilivium, Fallen and the Teeth into an amazing, high adrenaline arc.

    On this chapter, it is perhaps the best set of Wards interludes I've ever read. I'm including canon in that.

    I've never found Weld interesting to read until this chapter. And wow, there was such a tragically vivid picture of Weld being stuck at the bottom of the ocean for a MONTH, held down by bits of metal welded to him and slowly rusting out which has to be one of the most hopeless scenes I can envisage. Most fanfics talk about how sexy his abs are, and how girls flock to him - not explore how much he could possibly hate his powers over something like that.

    Shadow Stalkers point of view was interesting, as usual. And we're certainly building up to that interesting bit where Taylor is revealed as Skitter.

    Even Dean of all people managed to have a reasonably interesting POV, and he has to be the most boring Ward there. How unsure and confused he feels after what happened to Amy, how he feels about Shadow Stalker and generally how seeing people's emotions can be.

    Everything to do with Armsbutcher has been executed amazingly. The plan with Piggot. The interlude with his talks with Dragon. This concept that he's doing it all for the "greater good", while slowly descending into Butcher's madness.

    And the best thing the fic has pulled off since the Leviathan attack has been the vivid imagery of Brockton Bay. The atmosphere fills every chapter, potentially even more so than canon. How fucked up the city actually is. There isn't a single scene where it doesn't play into it - from Weld's train ride into the city, Lily describing her first visit, their patrols through crater filled and empty streets or the bar fight.
  4. Pathtoreading

    Pathtoreading Squib

    Apr 11, 2016
    High Score:
    What I liked most about this fic is the same sense that originally reading Worm gave - that every time you think that things just can't get worse - they actually do.
    While I found the large number of OC capes and powersets somewhat offputting - I did feel they certainly added to the story.

    I'm very sorry to see it abandoned, and I hope the author re-considers.

    my rating would be 4.5/5
  5. serpentguy

    serpentguy Second Year

    Dec 27, 2016
    High Score:
    Noticed this thread. I figured I might as well pop to say, sorry, but Crime and Commitment won't be continued. I was borderline 'probably won't be continued' at the most recent release, now I am most definitely 'can't be bothered to ever post another chapter'.

    Honestly, it was never really a story I even intended to write. The first arc was just me with some idea and deciding to start writing. Eventually, when I did decide to keep writing, the story just kept ramping up and up until it fell off a cliff.

    Some parts I still like, but a lot of I don't anymore. The writing was fairly poor, a lot of it stagnated, and I never kept any consistent tone, and it just became less enjoyable really. Rereading it, I shudder with all the times I repeat things, all the horrible descriptions, and long, overdrawn scenes.

    As for as plot goes, meh, I had something planned out but I realised too late how badly I ruined the pacing. I was about halfway through crunching out a twenty thousand word chapter that didn't really do anything when I realised that this it was just going to burn at this rate. I decided to drop it before it burned.

    Around about the third arc I started getting a lot of flak for the OCs and powersets, but, honestly, my view is that a lot of the complaints were distracting or symptoms of the real problems in the writing that were coming through. I had (and still have, actually) absolutely no problems with Pan's character - he was always just a Bad Guy of the Week to me, but one that was forced into a bloated role in a bloated story.

    So yeah, I'd say 2.5/5. Maybe a good time waster, but a pretty poor story overall.
  6. Anarchy

    Anarchy Totally Sirius DLP Supporter

    Dec 12, 2009
    The story is an interesting concept tester I think. With some refinement and proper plotting, it could have been pretty good. As is, everyone is pretty much just a caricature of themselves, and I'm not sure how Brockton Bay would even be able to exist as portrayed. Not to mention that it seemed like every other villain is either an edgelord, or a mustache twirling maniac. There were extreme pacing problems as well.
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