Adult Draco looking good. At first glance the actor didn't seem fitting, but as I thought about it more it sort of grew on me.

 

Part 2...
http://victorkrvm.tumblr.com/post/145680264471/in-depth-plot-summary-of-cursed-child-part-two
http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1sop96r?new_post=true

This is the worst thing that has ever existed.

 

...I want that wiped out of my mind. Alcohol, here I come.

Sad thing is, the more I try to forget, the harder it gets to.

...and Voldemort had sex. That happened. Christ, could this get any worse?

 

If Delphi was raised by goblins or other Gringotts shenanigans it might.

edit. this is a worthwhile synopsis too
http://corpidicarta.tumblr.com/post/145671624190/its-the-break-of-part-2-and-i-havent-understood

 

Only nugget of gold in this colossal shitpile.

And when I say shitpile, I really mean it.

Someone assassinate Rowling before she decides to write again something like this.

 

Uh, I feel like Harry might be an alcoholic, or on the wrong side of Alzheimer's

 

Wait, someone refresh my memory. Didn't Pottermore state that messing with time has severe consequences for the person changing the past?

 

I will happily pretend that Harry died with Voldemort and everything since that battle are his dying dreams as his coma weakens and he begins to die. A variant of the well known Pokemon "theory", of course. That or, as was said earlier, A Black Comedy is the actual ending to the story.

I prefer to refrain from cursing, but holy fucking god does this sound awful.

E: wait voldemort has a daughter are you fucking kidding me oh my god

This is one of the worst fanfiction stories I've ever heard of.

 

WTF, the Prequels look like Citizen Kane compared to this. This looks like terrible fanfiction with your misunderstood, awesome Draco, hero Snape, Voldemort having a child.

Basically a total character assasination of Harry, why the hell is a 40 year old Harry crying to Dumbledore about the Dursleys and being manipulated he was just fine with that at the end of DH when he spoke with Dumbledores portrait. And he seems to be crying all the time in this, one good thing about him in canon was that he wasn't a cry baby he didn't even cry after 4th year being tortured, seeing his parents and witnessing Cedric die.

Honestly I don't believe this is real, it basically goes back on almost anything Rowling said in interviews for e.g Snape not being a Hero and a bitter asshole, Draco not being a misunderstood poor soul and only being loved by fangirls because of Tom Felton.

Maybe people were told to leak false info so that everyone would be suprised when they actually saw it and this is a PR trick...which seems highly unlikely. Or maybe they just don't give a shit in plays about actually telling a coherent story.

If this is true we have the next George Lucas on our hands or she just led someone else write the script.

 

This is the first time I'm honestly seeing where the people who declare the Epilogue non-canon are coming from.

 

The epilogue was a poor decision with questionable romantic and familial choices.

This, however, is just...awful. There isn't a single plot point, starting from the decision to use Albus Severus Vernon Tom Lucius Potter and Scorpius Malfoy as deuteragonists, that I feel is a good idea; at least, none I can remember.

 

Remember when we thought the biggest controversy was Hermione being black?

What fools we were.

 

You guys are calling it terrible fanfiction. Well, it sure sounds like one...

But this is canon.

Holy shit my sides are gone.

 

Voldemort with a kid?

Fuck me I was writing that shitty fic back in '04.



....I'll still buy the book, I imagine.

 

I kinda don't want to give them money for this. I buy books and music to supports artists. This isn't worth my it.

 

"…when Azkaban is broken open, the Lestranges will be honoured beyond their dreams."

"...he wondered, with a feeling of great trepidation, what had happened to make Lord Voldemort the happiest he had been in fourteen years."

Bellatrix rewarded with the D is canon. Harry experiencing vicarious orgasms is also canon.

 

According to this shitty time line she gives birth late into DH. So she got preggers at end of HPB or early DH.

 

That's probably the best joke that's come out of this story.


I've heard that in theater they usually sacrifice some of the plot logic for scenes and presentation, but this reads like a bad joke.


On the other hand, this might be trolling.
Either from people who went to the show getting organized to post similar plots.
Or from Rowling - "you wanted more, take more and never come back".


On the other other hand, I now am more curious to see this than before, when I was rather indifferent.

 

I've never seen a purer form of the Draco in Leather Pants trope (from the blogger, not the play).

Currently taking the view that this has to be a troll. I'll concede that we're reading very brief notes of a five hour play, without seeing the quality of acting, staging etc, but honestly this just sounds awful.

 

Now it sounds even more like a troll, wouldn't people see that Bellatrix was pregnant and I am pretty sure that each time we saw her in DH there was nothing like that

Except there are stupid charms to conceal pregnancy which doesn't seem that far fetched with all the bullshit going on.