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[Oneshot] Dark Marauder by BajaB - K+

Discussion in 'Dark Arts' started by Jearom, Oct 10, 2008.

  1. Jearom

    Jearom Sixth Year

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2007
    Messages:
    180
    Location:
    Ike's Eye
    Title: Dark Marauder
    Author: BajaB
    Rating: K+
    Genre: Drama, One-Shot
    DLP Category: Dark Arts
    Pairing: None.
    Words: 12,613
    Published: October 10, 2008
    Status: Complete, Oneshot

    Summary: James Potter is an arrogant, pureblood arsehole who enjoyed bullying people in front of a crowd and thought he could pressure women into going out with him.

    Sirius Black comes from a family as dark as they come and was only sorted into Gryffindor to spite his parents. He even tried to murder a fellow classmate that he didn't like.

    Remus Lupin is a werewolf - A man infected with a disease whose dark and violent nature made all those with the condition to be despised and feared throughout the wizarding world.

    Peter Pettigrew is a born sycophant. He was willing to sell his soul to be close to the most powerful wizard around. He braved discovery and death to be a spy in an enemy camp, and murdered at the drop of his master's hat.

    So what if the gang was actually as Dark as their nature would (at first glance) appear to be? How different would the HP universe then be?

    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4586362/1/

    An awesome one-shot. The Marauders go on a revenge-fueled killing spree following Voldemort's attack. Not Harry-centric. There are a few spelling mistakes, but other than that it is very well written.

    4/5.


    Checked by Minion, Nov. 25, 2012
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 25, 2012
  2. Dethklok

    Dethklok Order Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2008
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    839
    Location:
    The power of Christ compels him not to tell you.
    “You’re coming too. There’s a bright new world out there just waiting to be Marauded.”

    I love that line. This whole story stinks of A Clockwork Orange, and for that, I could not be more grateful.
     
  3. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    I really liked this. I think another author could've really polished it up, but as it is, BajaB did a decent job. 4/5
     
  4. DarthBill

    DarthBill Dark Lord

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    BajaB usually does good work.

    4/5
     
  5. mathiasgranger

    mathiasgranger Slug Club Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2008
    Messages:
    187
    Location:
    Michigan
    This story really touched upon some of the darkness and desperation that even the most ardent of the light side supporters should have felt after watching countless friends and camarades die.

    There is no real point to fighting for an ideal, when no one will be around at the end of the war to enforce it.

    The one issue I had with the fic was taking Dumbledore off of the playing board due to a magical discharge.

    4/5
     
  6. TwilightAmbition

    TwilightAmbition First Year

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2008
    Messages:
    35
    Awesome fic. One of the few non Harry-Centrics that I enjoyed.
    It needs a sequel with a super/psycho!Harry after the marauders are murdered! :D

    5/5
     
  7. ParseltonguePhoenix

    ParseltonguePhoenix Unspeakable

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    785
    Location:
    Alabama
    This was pretty fucking excellent. Yeah, there were grammatical, formatting, and spelling errors, but it didn't really take anything away from the fic. 5/5 for a brilliant idea.

    I'd really love to see a full length fic based on this idea, using the Marauders' revenge as a prologue or something, and then going into a Harry-centric story.
     
  8. Innomine

    Innomine Auror Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2007
    Messages:
    635
    Location:
    New Zealand
    High Score:
    4,500
    Wow, I really really enjoyed that.

    The author makes references to one "AFC" at the bottom, what does that refer too?

    Same thing as shezza does with "Thanks to DLP" etc etc.

    5/5 for the fic. One of the coolest marauder fics i've read.
     
  9. Rin

    Rin Oberstgruppenführer DLP Supporter

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    My best guess would be the "Alpha Fight Club".
     
  10. maidros

    maidros Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Messages:
    119
    This was a cool fic. The bit about Snivellus was ironically retributive after what he ended up doing to Lily Potter, whatever his intent may have been.
     
  11. Banner

    Banner Dark Lady

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Virginia, USA
    Just. Perfect. In every way. Great characterization, excellent use of phrase and pacing, it's an incredibly intense experience. I love it.
    5/5
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2008
  12. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

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    At your mothers house
    Quite different and very well thought-out and executed. A few errors here and there but nothing that seriously detracts from the story. 4.5/5
     
  13. azrael

    azrael Professor

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Texas
    This fic was fucking excellent. Definitely needs a harry-centric sequel. The revenge on both Peter and Snape was full of win. 5/5
     
  14. Jenkins

    Jenkins Forum Bike DLP Supporter

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    Brilliant. Simple, utter brilliance. There was an occasional spelling or grammatical error but that can easily be overlooked. It portrays the Marauders in a way I've never seen before, and I love it. I think what this fic could have used though, was some background. I'm not a fan of flashbacks but maybe the occasional look into their lives at school or something. This story needs a prequel, rather than a sequel.

    That said, I still think this is one of the best one shots I've seen for a while. I'd give it a 4.5 because it's certainly not perfect. Probably shoved it's way into my Top 15 fics ever though. If I kept a list...
     
  15. fuubar

    fuubar Headmaster

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    1,048
    BajaB's stuff is normally pretty interesting and this is definitely no exception. It's great to see that cruel streak that James and Sirius had out grown come back out with a vengeance, literally. Characterization and execution were both exceptional as far as I am concerned. 4.5/5
     
  16. Jamven

    Jamven Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Here, I was about to post this story to be reviewed. Awesome story

    4/5
     
  17. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Location:
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    One of my favourite authors on his absolute best.

    5/5
     
  18. Peacemaker

    Peacemaker Second Year

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2008
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    Location:
    Leicester, UK
    Never even heard of the author before, but damn - this is excellent. The whole idea of Lily's death pushing the Marauders over the edge is as believable as it is pure win. Execution is decent as well with the (few) mistakes not hindering the flow of the text in any way. 4.5/5

    I disagree with Jenkins, though. While a prequel would be interesting, I don't see that offering nearly as many possibilities as a sequel of Harry growing up with three insane, internationally wanted criminals on the run and their forced-into-submission slave.
     
  19. Goddessa39

    Goddessa39 DA Member

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    Location:
    My Mind, Earth
    Yes, it is 5/5 awesome! There hasn't been much good around but this was a great surprise. I am not one to usually read fics that aren't Harry-centric but there were so many great things said about it I had to and am glad I did.

    I liked how they crossed the line "they had walked since birth" and I am with them, though they aren't exactly evil, just warped. Man, Dumbledore is really annoying in his holier-than-though 'tude. Someone knock him off it!
     
  20. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    2,129
    Delightful little fic with pretty good execution. Some brilliant ideas and great scenes. Pretty much what I've come to expect from BajaB.

    As for a rating, it's better than what I'd normally call a 4/5 but there's something keeping me from saying this is a 5/5 fic. Not sure what it is. Maybe I'd like to see some of the angry indignation at the murders in the name of vigilante justice. Or maybe I just wanted a more action-packed battle rather than these sudden moments of gore. Something.

    This is definitely excellent, full of great bits, but something's keeping from calling it truly great.

    4.5/5
     
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