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WIP Days to Come by chris400ad - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Atri, Apr 7, 2016.

  1. Atri

    Atri Groundskeeper

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    Title: Days to Come
    Author: chris400ad
    Rating:T
    Genre: Romance/Drama
    Status: WIP (Updated March 21; 80k+ words right now)
    Library Category: Romance
    Pairings: Harry/Daphne; past Harry/Ginny; background Ron/Hermione
    Summary: Harry Potter, famed auror and Boy-Who-Lived, was hoping after having won the war and got the girl he would find some peace. But life had other ideas. See how his life fell apart and how one simple chance encounter could change everything. Post-War and Non-epilogue compliant.
    Link:ff.net


    This story isn't exactly new. It's started in 2014 but has updated recently. I haven't found it recommended or in the library after a quick search. I stumbled upon it quite by accident, started reading and read it all in one go.

    It won't be a story for everybody. If you're in the mood for fast-paced action, grand gestures and emotions, this will probably not be your thing. The pacing is relatively slow and it focuses on the relationships between the characters. Characters that are quite well done. There's no bashing, no bad guy, but actually recognizable canon characters who grew up after Hogwarts without losing their characteristic traits.

    Both Harry and Daphne -- who are the focus of the story -- have to deal with their own problems as they develop a relationship and how those around them see their newfound friendship. The author manages to develop that quite nicely. Their conversations are fun and easy to read.

    Apart from this obviously being a romance, the story can be characterized as a slice-of-life after Hogwarts and the war story.

    The story itself is written well. It flows nicely, though the author sometimes misses words here and there. He could do with proof reading a bit more, but that only slightly detracts from the story itself.

    I'd give it a 4/5. Not full marks because of those slight mistakes mentioned above. It's very much a hate it or love it kind of story. You have to be in the right mood to enjoy it.
     
  2. Hiraelle

    Hiraelle Third Year

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    Honestly, the first chapter doesn't give me much incentive to continue.
    I won't rate since I didn't read more. Maybe someone who read the whole thing will know that my issues with it are irrelevant in the long run.

    It is not the pacing that is the issue for me. It's a whole lot of other things. Putting it under spoiler, but as I said it's only for the first chapter, so not very spoiler-y anyway.
    1) Harry goes to a shrink, a young muggleborn shrink that brought muggle psychotherapy to the wizarding world apparently. Took "years" to get the more traditionalists of the wizards to accept this thing but it is required after a fuck-up for Harry to get his job back.
    How the fuck is a new thing that took time to get accepted "mandatory" because "Ministry guidelines say so"
    2) Apparently Ginny is a bitch who cheated on Harry in their own home. Now that may not upset some people, but you said characters are "quite well done". With what has been done of Ginny (I think canon Ginny would have had the balls to just leave Harry and not cheat on him), I don't have much hope.
    + the throwaway sentence about "the crushing realization that his supposed saviour, Dumbledore, had merely squirreled him away till he had needed him to die.[...] How even after [Harry] accepted Dumbledore's apology, inside he seethed at how the Headmaster could dare to ask forgiveness for what Harry had been put through." Now that is just plain wrong. And it may not be important in the fic because Dumbledore's dead anyway and all so it's not a big deal if he's not characterized well, but still. Doesn't bode well for characterization.
    3) Harry spills his entire fucking life to the shrink he just met. The shrink he just met because he was forced to because he beat the guy who Ginny cheated on him with and blah blah blah. And just after he admitted he doesn't trust easily. Went like "You're right I don't trust easily here's why : [life story]."
    I just don't see Harry doing that.
    Honestly I don't see Harry beating a man half to death with his fists either but well we never saw him get cheated on (and why the fuck didn't Ginny stop him herself ? She's a witch, and she knows how to use her wand, but no she just called the Aurors).
    4) I was in the mood for slice of life. But this looks like it's slice of drama (plus it's just... not very interesting. There's no hook. I started skimming around the end of the shrink stuff.)

    So as I said I'm only talking about the first chapter. It may become a masterpiece later on. That's why I won't rate. First chapter would get maybe 2/5 though.
    I don't want to read about this Harry and the drama he's going through.
     
  3. eclaircissement

    eclaircissement Squib

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    Nice post, I was just rereading this a couple days ago including the new chapter and thought about posting it.

    The pacing is very slow (see spoilers below) and the narrative is certainly not without its flaws, but if you can get past that (since those details aren't really the focus of the story anyway) it's a very satisfying read.

    Slow-paced: Over 80k words and they haven't even kissed.
    Probably not the best post-Hogwarts Wizarding World you'll ever read. Blood politics and work are clumsily used as plot points, and the structure of the DMLE and Auror Department seems odd.
    Some weird details - Daphne and Tracey having Auror fathers doesn't jibe with my headcanon. Daphne oscillates between confident and socially isolated/inept. Draco and Astoria are also a bit strange, though Harry's friends are very well done.

    Issues aside, most of the characters come across as real humans with real problems and there's minimal bashing, no harems, and no superpowers so it still laps 85% of the HP/DG field. Since slice-of-life and slow-burn romance fics are both squarely in my wheelhouse, I gave it 4/5 (though hopefully the pace does pick up a bit), though most will rate it lower.
     
  4. Catman

    Catman Fifth Year

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    I'm at the 3rd chapter mark, and while the author could do a 180 at any point, I feel comfortable giving this a 4/5. It's a character piece. Slow and plodding, but thorough. I've always liked stories like this, but I can totally see this not being the average DLPers cup of tea. To its credit, the initial point of conflict (if it deserves being called as such) in chapter 1 doesn't get angsted over too much, just enough to show Harry's feelings about it. There are some cliche's such as the hoity toity Ministry Ball, but as it seems to be a main part of the story line, I don't see any reason to think that it detracts from the story.

    Slow and character driven. The conflict of the story revolves around their relationships, not anything to do with action orientated confrontations. At least that appears to be where it is going. If that sounds like something you could be interested in, I recommend it.
     
  5. Hachi

    Hachi Death Eater

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    Passable read at best.

    The focus isn't magic. It's about Harry and how he's coping with his separation.
    It'd be fine, if it wasn't making the wizarding world and the characters barely recognizable in order to add drama.

    Frankly, at this point, I'd rather read Flaubert or Stendhal. Except not, because it's boring as fuck.

    2/5.

    I'll note that the writing in itself is decent, so if this is your cup of tea, you'll probably like it.
     
  6. mdatot

    mdatot Squib

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    I've read most of it but dropped at some point in chapter 13. Technical quality and prose is okay but the plot is almost aggressively bland. It's a character drama, but none of the characters or their interactions are interesting, not even after 60 or 70k words. If you really want to read tepid Harry and Daphne friendship slice of life, I guess it might be for you, but it's not for me.

    3/5.
     
  7. mistermisstep

    mistermisstep First Year

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    The writing is acceptable, workmanlike stuff that does what it needs to do. Typos and technical mistakes are rare. Although there's a few questionable bits of characterization, there's no real character bashing to get Ginny out of the way of the main pairing, which is nice. It's also a slow-burn, a quality I appreciate in romance fics.

    On the other hand, the story does little to distinguish itself from the pack. It's decently written, but has lethargic pacing. All the dialogue read as if it were written for the same person instead of multiple characters. Magical people have the titles "lord" and "lady" just for flavor. Not much chemistry exists between Daphne and Harry either.

    That last one killed it for me. A romance without chemistry is a chore to read. 2/5
     
  8. Miner

    Miner Groundskeeper

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    I slogged through all fourteen chapters these past couple of days. Biggest problem I saw was the fact that there's zero conflict in the story. Slice of life is all well and good, but fourteen chapters of slice of life without anything resembling a proper conflict doesn't garner interest. Harry and Daphne never fight, and secondary characters like Adam, Eliza, Matthias, Narcissa, etc. are one dimensional at best.

    Which is a shame, because I always like Harry/Daphne and the writing is technically good.

    I just wish something would happen. Also, some of the previous critiques were valid, such as Harry opening up about his life story not being exactly realistic in chapter one.

    2.5/5 rounding down.
     
  9. Senna

    Senna Squib

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    While it is true that Harry and Daphne do not have an aggressively antagonistic relationship in HP-Canon, I think it fairly safe to say that there are enough differences in their belief systems and backgrounds that portraying a realistic reconciliation of those differences will be challenging, never mind a convincing development of romantic feelings.

    However, the author's underlying assumptions about psychological issues and how they might realistically affect decision making and perceptions fails to persuade me that he/she can execute what is otherwise an intriguing premise. The author does not seem to have conducted basic research into fundamental psychological precepts, which is not promising in a story that is supposed to delve heavily into introspection.

    For example, I cannot suspend my disbelief that a character who's had years' worth of privacy issues can suddenly set it aside in the span of an hour, especially when you take into consideration the fact that said character has been forced to do so.

    There are also several issues in technical writing skill. There are often redundancies in word usage and in description:

    Redundancies in description are harder to push through just because it often feels like the author is unnecessarily belaboring the point. Say what you mean once, and maybe once more for emphasis. Much more than that, especially within just two paragraphs not only makes the idea lose all meaning but it also makes the text a boring read.

    The author also seems to struggle with writing dialogue, constantly falling back on noun-verb-adjective:

    The author mixes a series of introspective thoughts with the characters' physical action. For example,

    This paragraph has 9 sentences of introspection, followed abruptly by an action which makes for a jarring read.

    There is unnecessary elaboration on unimportant details. For example, the third paragraph of the first chapter is entirely about Harry's glasses, which seem to serve no purpose except to delay the introduction of a supporting character. I have no idea why the author thought this was needed, and that confusion only adds to the awkwardness of the writing.

    Finally, and perhaps most importantly - there is no hook in the first chapter. The whole point of the first chapter is that you are trying to persuade the reader why they should keep reading, and this incentive simply does not exist. Instead, the author relies on the audience approaching the story with already the right mindset, which is lazy writing in my opinion. That's a bit like someone asking you to buy a ticket to a concert, but they won't tell you who's performing. They will tell you, however, that it's in a genre that you like. Who on earth would go and why?

    If the answer to the question above is 'because those genres are difficult to find and I'm a fan,' then that's just not a good enough 'hook' for me. I'm not convinced that a rare pairing makes up for a boring read, a poorly researched background, and inadequate writing skill, no matter how interesting the premise.

    1/5 for me.
     
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2016
  10. Narf

    Narf Administrator Admin DLP Supporter

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    I kinda like the story, but that was a damn good review.
     
  11. Senna

    Senna Squib

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    I'm sorry /-\ but also thank you ^^;;
     
  12. Flurol

    Flurol Squib

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    There have been better post Hogwarts Harry/Daphne stories, and it is rather slow paced. Which is probably exacerbated by the fact that there isn't too much conflict or intrigue on, every thing seems pretty cut and dry.
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2016
  13. Miner

    Miner Groundskeeper

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    This most recent update forced me to reread the whole story and I'm reminded of why I disliked this fic so much considering how many Harry/Daphne fics I read for guilty pleasure.

    It's... in a nutshell... boring. There's nothing to hold my interest, character interactions are seem either super forced and entirely unrealistic (Harry-Tracey first meeting) or cliched and annoying. The most action in the fic is the Quidditch and the wedding so far, but the author either doesn't have the talent or doesn't have enough experience to properly write those scenes and draw the reader in.

    I didn't find the technical quality of the fic to be too much of a problem as others have, and in fact consider it the one redeeming quality of the fic, Harry/Daphne excluded. Sure, the repetition that is pointed out above can be cleaned up, but overall I didn't feel as if technically the fic did anything wrong enough to raise red flags for me.

    There's just no overarching plot to focus on, and very little in terms of points of interest for the reader. Which is a shame because there's so much someone can do with post-Hogwarts problems.

    I originally rated it 2.5/5 rounding down and I think I'll stick with that. I can see why people could enjoy this as a guilty pleasure, but personally I'm not its biggest fan.
     
  14. Narf

    Narf Administrator Admin DLP Supporter

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    I liked the previous chapters, but this chapter was boring as hell, yeah. It was so boring that I haven't even finished it yet.