1. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

Defiant by genhoss - M

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Decibels, Aug 17, 2007.

  1. Decibels

    Decibels Squib

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2007
    Messages:
    6
    Title: Defiant

    Author: genhoss

    Rating: M

    Genre: Drama/Adventure

    DLP Category: alternates, SG1 crossover

    Pairing: Female Harry/Luna Lovegood

    Status: WiP

    Summary: A harry potter sg1 crossover. harry gets changed into a girl, femslash, HPLL crosses over book5 season 7

    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3350474/1/Defiant

    I almost didn't even read this story because the author absolutely demolished the grammar unique to the Harry Potter books and even some regular words. If you decide this story isn't worth reading before reading at least the second chapter DON'T. The grammar and such improves drastically in the second chapter

    I realize that there some cliches in the story such as the overly evil/traitorous Snape, the 'helpful goblins' and such but there is actual back story to it that I'm not going to say here as to spoil it for those who do read it. I also like the pairing as well as Luna's more serious side in the story and just generally the whole plot as Harry isn't some all powerful ancient descendant or some such crap.

    I would probably give this story between a 3.5 to a 4. If the first chapter were to be redone that would definitely be a 4. What else holds it back is the overly done cliches i mentioned earlier, otherwise i think that this is a good and quite realistic story. Especially the 'hairy legs' moment as well as the in character dialogue for the SG1 characters with things like Jack's witty comments.
     
  2. Sanctimonius

    Sanctimonius Guest

    Harry being turned into a girl and then hooking up with Luna? Interesting but I'll pass. I like Harry as a guy, thanks.
     
  3. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw DLP Overlord Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2005
    Messages:
    4,346
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    3/5, if that. I couldn't stand the constant butchering of HP terms, spelling, and just the English language in general. The story is rushed, the plot thin, and the ideas poorly conveyed.
     
  4. Decibels

    Decibels Squib

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2007
    Messages:
    6
    like I said in the original post, the grammar drastically improves after chapter 1. Though I do admit the plot is a bit weak as I can't really see it going anywhere yet but who knows what the author has planned?
     
  5. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2005
    Messages:
    2,921
    I'm not gonna read a story with female!Harry. That's just fangirlish...
     
  6. Decibels

    Decibels Squib

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2007
    Messages:
    6
    I didn't really care about that. I read stuff like this because it's ORIGINAL, there's possibly five stories like this on ff.net I'll bet, if that, that are halfway decent and not some inane ten year olds attempt at a coherent sentence.
     
  7. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2007
    Messages:
    3,947
    Sometimes some fics aren't worth waiting for to see what authors have planned, and this is one of them. I was really confused whether Snape saying 'Griffindorfs' was an insult or simply a mistake. If it was the former, then it was the most bizarre insult I've ever read in Harry Potter fanfiction.

    Ah, but would you read about Hagrid giving birth to a shit baby? It's original, isn't it (at least I hope so)? To me, girl!Harry - and not SilverAegis' kind either - is in the same category, especially if Harry was originally a boy.
     
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2007
  8. Richard

    Richard Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2006
    Messages:
    1,789
    Location:
    California
    Hmmm...I have to agree. And Fem!Harry isn't original either, its already been done. Numerous times I might add. I couldn't read past the first chapter.

    Richard.
     
  9. Warlocke

    Warlocke Prisoner

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2006
    Messages:
    2,970
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The armpit of Ohio
    In all fairness, though, a fem!Harry that doesn't immediately turn into a bashful wimp who blushes at male attention and flounces off to get married to some random pureblood male, hasn't been done (or is rare enough I haven't run across one).
     
  10. LogrusMage

    LogrusMage Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2007
    Messages:
    1,675
    Location:
    Huntington Sta., NY
    Fem!Harry... I'll pass. I like my protagonist to be the correct gender thank you. Can't stand cross gender stories.

    And femmslash is boring as hell. Who the hell am I suppose to picture myself as?

    Nope, no thanks.
     
  11. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw DLP Overlord Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2005
    Messages:
    4,346
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    I read all that was posted, and while it got better it still made my eyes bleed. The story is badly written, this is a given. The reason behind changing Harry to a girl is unclear and unnecessary (Voldemort: You'll be my whore, Harry). Possibly the only redeeming factors of this story is:

    1) HP/SG crossover.
    2) Harry/Luna
    3) Femmeslash (Harry/Luna)

    At least one day Harry doesn't wake up female and decide she likes guys.
     
  12. Richard

    Richard Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2006
    Messages:
    1,789
    Location:
    California
    lol! Too true, Raven.

    Richard.
     
  13. nick012000

    nick012000 First Year

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2007
    Messages:
    27
    The idea is decent, but the execution most definately is not. 3/5.