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Complete Deja Vu and Dreams Series By Electrasev5n - M - Naruto

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Styx0444, Oct 20, 2015.

  1. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

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    Fun to see something from Sakura's perspective and the Aiko and Gaara bonding scenes were charming. Honestly, everything Aiko does is just entertaining from beginning to end. She's such a delightful and enjoyable character with tons of charisma, I could read about her sorting her taxreturns and I would be entertained.
     
  2. JErosion

    JErosion Fifth Year

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    Well I gave the whole thing a read, Vapors was good, but the abrupt ending and over all tone of Clarity was highly disappointing. So many of its story threads went unresolved.

    AOC has been entertaining, but the disconnect with Clarity is still a little jarring
     
  3. cooladoola

    cooladoola Second Year

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    This can be disregarded. It was a mistake on my part.
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2017
  4. Jarik

    Jarik Chief Warlock

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    cooladoola Did you start with Vapors or just skip to Aiko in Canon? Cause your review kind of reads like that, forgive me if I'm wrong. If so, you're missing about 1 million words of plot and character development to that point.
     
  5. cooladoola

    cooladoola Second Year

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    Last edited: Mar 30, 2017
  6. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, you'd be best off starting from the beginning. Check page one of this thread for the Vapors link.
     
  7. Jarik

    Jarik Chief Warlock

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    Aiko in Canon is the spin off sequel that comes third in the series. It's meant to be sort of silly and fun, but isn't really meant to taken that seriously, which is why the author didn't bother posting it on ff.net. Give Vapors a go from the start and see how you feel about that.
     
    yak
  8. cooladoola

    cooladoola Second Year

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    So, that was my error. Well, this is the last time I am reading a fiction immediately after coming home from work. Thank you for the correction. Appreciated.

    I just finished the first chapter of Vapours. Structurally, it is a lot better than 'Aiko in Canon.' However, some of the general issues with grammar and proper flow still remain. Most of the chapter was dedicated to childbirth and I can't say it pleased me. It was too ... feminine for my liking. It's a personal pet-peeve of mine, but I dislike 'male power fantasies' stories just the same.

    Paragraphs upon paragraphs were decided to how what she would call them and Minato would be relegated to 'diaper duty' and it was just blatantly excessive and sappy. It was probably intended to evoke an emotion of attachment from the reader towards a mother who was about to buy the farm, but it drew the opposite reaction from me. I simply wanted it to be over.

    And this part, "Neither of them actually cared about the gender," irked me. Are people this ignorant that they are unaware of the stark differences between 'Gender' and 'Sex'? For Pete's sake, gender is a social construct and sex is a biological construct. This sentence gave the impression like the child was being brought into this world with a 'Gender neutral, leftist, ultra liberal' mindset.

    Then, upon birth, an Uzumaki name is given to Naruto, but not many paragraphs down the line, we are told again that people shouldn't associate him with Namikaze? That was an odd sort of contradiction. Fugaku and Mikoto are absurdly out of character. Them, bending over backwards for children that have nothing to do with their own, was silly if anything. Uchiha have always been about clan and honor. Other people have never factored into their equation beyond Itachi and Shisui; Tobirama's loopy philosophy's torch bearer's descendent and the former was just a demented Jingoist.

    I have little idea as to why writers choose only two routes: Uchiha are the ultimate boogeymen who need to be vilified and bullied so that Itachi admirers can declare their homoerotic love for him or they need to be fixed and fixed to oblivion, because how they behaved in the fiction, apparently, demanded some sort of censure. And that didn't end there, I got really terrible vibes of 'Uchihas need to come through and clear their tainted names, because that is the right thing to do' and should 'cringe before the Hokage to catch another Uchiha who was also affected by the system.' It's Uchiha FF.net cliche galore. It's not like this is present in every other fiction with Uchihas. It goes past parody at this point.

    I have only read one chapter and I am already wary of this fiction. Fugaku and Mikoto were practically unrecognizable. Uchiha women do not even possess Sharingan. Sarada has it for a very good reason as she's literally an anomaly. So far, it's barely touching the 2 out of 5 mark. Overall, pretty mediocre premise and signifiers. I expected better.
     
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2017
  9. draykfyre

    draykfyre First Year DLP Supporter

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    Part 26 of AIC is up. It looks like things are picking up again.
     
  10. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

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    Part 27 just got released.

    Edit: Pretty awesome fight and I always enjoy Aiko being Aiko.
     
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2017
  11. throwaawy

    throwaawy Second Year

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    part 28 some administrative catchup and of course new plots to be plotting like the plotter she is.
     
  12. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

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    She also started posting AIC on Ao3 now under the title "misplace your cities".

    Only 9 chapters are on there as of now, so it's more of a gradual thing. Gonna take a while until it's all on there.
     
  13. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

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    So, part 29 is out on her tumblr. Her AO3 account now has all but part 29 on misplace your cities.

    The story is roughly 200k words in case anyone was wondering. I know I was and it is nice to have the concrete number.
     
  14. Six Paths of Pain

    Six Paths of Pain First Year

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  15. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

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    Aiko in Canon part 30 is out.

    I love Aiko for things like that she gets really offended when Karin called her bleak park she herself had noted as bleak and in need of some prettying up, bleak and immediately took a mental potshot at Orochimaru and Otogakure. See, it's her fucking dump of a city and it's okay if she says so but if some outsider, which she herself was a few weeks ago btw, does? Well that fucker better have diplomatic immunity.

    Such a delightful character.
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2017