The biggest problem I'm finding with it now is the really dry writing style. It may have always been dry and only masked by the interesting characters that were in the past but it's really coming through strong now. It kind of reminds me of A Champion's New Hope in it's lack of style and personality but at least a passable plot.

 

I think that that LS is trying to retcon his work in the middle of the story. He seems to have either this thread and seems to have made Harry less of a wuss. It seems kind of unatural, and I agree he seems to have made a huge shift in personality over one chapter. It seems really odd.


​

 

Considering that he has posted in this thread before, I think it's quite likely that he has read it.

 

Updated

Spoiler

A pretty good update, but I don't see why Bellatrix shared the secret of the spell with the Order.

 

Spoiler

Either as a small concession on her part to gain some sort of trust or to reinforce the belief that it's indeed a spell. At least that'd be my guess.

Decent update, the conversations between Harry and Bella were a little bit too witty and quick in their comebacks, which I actually like, but otherwise a believable interaction.

 

Spoiler

Sure, but they know how leaky the Order is, and they definitely don't want the Death Eaters to think it's a spell.

 

Not sure if this has been brought up before, but am I the only one who has a problem with the way Bellatrix speaks in this story? I mean, I get it - she's a proper pureblood lady, she speaks formally, etc. However, she speaks like a fucking robot - even to her own husband in private.

I think the biggest part is that she doesn't use contractions. It just doesn't sound natural at all.

 

The above three "spoilers" are too vague to need spoiler tags - but whatever floats your boat.

The is the fake quality to Bellatrix character throughout the fic, I guess you just start not seeing that in a while. Then again, it is annoying at some places, but not too much.

I'm kind of interested when Harry is going to return to the main scene of events, as past few chapters are really more centered on Bellatrix.

 

This. It's been sort of interesting, but let's face it, it's better when Harry is actually involved and doing things. If the next chapter continues to have Harry just chilling and hiding, I will be disappoint.

 

More of the same, Harry continues his Dumbuerilla tactics which consists of stunning as few as possible while letting the rest escape and handing over the captives to the ministry. The last time he did that the ministry let them go because blablabla, he should know by now that handing Death Eaters over to the ministry is pointless because they'll either be let go or sent to a prison Voldemort can raid whenever he feels like it, and pick up a bunch of Dementor's while he's there.

Hopefully Bellatrix will start murdering Death Eaters by the dozen while Harry is doing his pussying around in Albania, or maybe she has become infected enough with Harry's retarded sentimentality to let herself get wounded, prompting Harry to finally pick up his balls and man the fuck up.

 

Updated

More action, promise of even more next chapter. A good chapter.

 

new chapter cant wait to see Mrs.malfoy's reaction

 

Shit chapter in a shit story. Why is Harry still pretending to be dead?

 

Why is it still in the library? It was fine when it started, but after the time shift it went down ridiculously fast.

I can't get into it.

 

I can't even force myself to read anymore. Bellatrix isn't that old herself to begin with I get it, but those brats still annoy the shit out of me.

 

I liked this story while it happened in the past, after the time shift, I stopped liking it.
In my humble opinion, returning to the "present" was a mistake.

And that's about it.

 

I've been skimming most of the chapters post-timeskip, so I'm probably missing some facts. But Bella is way too mild; it's basically an OC wearing her skin. Rose annoys the hell out of me (that was probably the authors' intention), and frankly I think Bella should have at least maimed her by now. The other children are bearable, but I don't understand why she's cooperating with them.

No idea what Harry's doing. The 'ghost of Harry Ashworth' idea was cool the first time, not so much now. The fact that Bella shared the spell with Lily, and offered to teach it to Molly really bugged me.

I don't like this "Daughter of the Stars" prophecy. Hell, I never liked prophecies in general, even the one in canon.

Just some arbitrary thoughts on fic I'm not keeping up with anymore.

 

I really and truly tried to to keep at this one. It was one of the only decent B/H fics out there. Even after the time change back to the future I hoped it was only a few bad transition chapters, but it's much more than that. The original idea was good, but it's simply fail now.

This latest chapter was one boring scene after another with virtually nothing happening of any consequence until the end and even that was a mediocre action scene. It's not that I need action time and again, but it would help of the story actually progressed instead repeating the same boring scenes again and again, just in different locations.

I'm done. It's gone from 4/5 to 2/5

Someone call me when they go back in time again or the last 5 chapters are deleted and replaced with an actual plot that progresses.

 

Actually, I laughed from Draco in the newest chapter, but it wasn't that good as it could have been.

Then, I thought about it for another minute, and did a quick search on Harry and Bellatrix in the fic.

This is the result of the names appearing through the chapters and the difference between them.
http://i.imgur.com/IJh1B.png

From chapter 26 onward, the fic's problem is obvious.

 

Latest chapter has Harry agonising over whether he should kill an enemy combatant on the battlefield or not, despite all the horrible deeds he surely must have committed. No longer following this fic.