Has been updated again.

He's accepted that he can't get back to the past and has essentially created an alternate timeline, so I'm not sure what you guys are talking about.

That being said, I'm glad I read this, despite not wanting to originally. All the other H/Bella fics I've read previously have been utterly terrible (excluding A Warrior's Philosophy, but that's short and abandoned) so I hardly had any hope for it. But it turned out to be a fairly good politically-inclined story.

 

"I tell you, there's something wonky going on with Ashworth," James complained. "And I'm going to get to the bottom of that wonk!"

Who else read every instance of "wonk" as "wank" the first skim through?

Come on, I know I'm not alone.

 

New chapter that looks like it hasn't been betaed.
I was happy to see that there is a new posted chapter but after reeding it I felt quite disappointed with it.

10k words and practically nothing was said. Then there are a number of small but very annoying moments of the like of

... the author could have the wizard, at least, use his wand to produce the sound.

 

Where do you read that from what Harry thinks? I can only accept an alternative universe to explain the plot holes as the timeline is completely screwed up and because of the wand.
But from what we've read so far I get the feeling that the writer actually thinks that's the right past where all DEs are roughly the same age. But I fear the ugly surprise that Harry's in a time loop where he kills Voldemort and then secretly replaces him because of the wand issue.

 

The update was disappointing and as Psihary pointed out, it had errors in several places.

Not too much taking place, but I guess you do need to add filler and describe certain sub sections of the plot thoroughly.

Still there is plenty of hope for this fic

 

Signature. This is all.

 

I'm getting more and more disappointed with Harry in this fic. Bested by Bellatrix in a duel and Manhandled by Orion. Consults his every decistion with Bella or The gang manipulating him (Malfoy, Orion, etc), plus he's discovered and exposed relativity easily. At first I thought he would come back and just lurk about or steal someones identity, but to pretend to be someone from a proinent family when there isn't even someone your age in the family is just amateur.
This is just a personal thing, but I despise when Harry becomes friends with his enemies in the past. Bellatrix was always a crazy tch, not always unhinged but she's not a misunderstood benevolent soul. However this fic still has room to grow and develop so I can't make any definitive judgements on character development yey.

 

Canon never give us anything to contradict Bella's character during her Hogwarts years...

Also, the family is prominent in another country, so ostensibly a relatively safe choice if you need to be a pureblood. And seriously, how was he supposed to get the registry?

 

How can she have always been a crazy bitch, but not have always been unhinged? Unhinged is just a different way of saying crazy. You contradicted yourself in the same damn sentence.

 

Hmm . . . where to start with this - since I gave it a chance and read all that was there (because I saw it updated here and figured, what the hell?).

1. Muggleborn-loving pureblood Blacks & Malfoys. The Blacks are ostensibly known for being one of the darkest, if not the darkest family in Britain, which is why people were surprised at Griffindor!Sirius; and subsequently, completely unsurprised at the idea of Sirius blowing up a street full of muggles and his best friend after betraying his other best friend to Voldemort.
2. With the exception of Bellatrix, her uncle and her father, and Lucius Malfoy's dad, all the purebloods in Slytherin are mouth-breathing, hot-headed drooling retards who probably need a safety helmet lest they hurt themselves. The Lastranges, Crabbes and Goyles can't just be average, they're at the BOTTOM of their year, while Bellatrix is near the top.
3. Lucius's father has an official name: Abraxas, so the author ought to do a find-and-replace on that shit.
4. All the DEs at Hogwarts with each other and with Harry's parents. I suppose you don't have much of a story without this, but more to the point, when Bellatrix started Hogwarts, James and Lily, the Marauders, and Snape all were two-and-three-year-olds. That means that if Bellatrix is a 7th year, then Lucius would be a 4th year. Basically, this point irks me. Yeah, yeah, it's an AU, but changes like that aren't so easily chalked up to it being an AU, it just smacks of poor planning/forced plotting, and it being an AU as more of a cop-out answer.
5. Herpa-Derp, I R N AU, but getting any information out of me will remain an exercise in pulling some fucking teeth.
6. The wand thing (Harry getting the 13.5" Yew & Phoenix-feather wand) is forgiveable to me because it says to me that whatever wand Voldemort in this AU has, is probably brothers with a future, yet-to-be prophesied child of lord-knows-whom due to Harry likely fucking up any chances of Lily and James getting together.

All in all, I give it a 3/5 for decent and engaging writing (-2 for the points above, except #6). The above points for me make the story all the more disappointing because of the technically superior quality of the writing itself.

 

Yeah I'll grant you that is annoying. But Rowling's publicized character ages, genealogies, etc. conflict and contradict each other all the damn time. It's way more effort than it's worth to try and force them into some sort of rational framework. Unless you're writing something like Methene's OBAM.

 

Maybe its just me, but I'd rather that Silvere changed some minor age technicalities and had a cracking good story, than kept it all separate and had Harry hanging out at Hogwarts with only Bella, Lestrange and a 14 year old Lucius. It may not have an in story justification, but in this case I can overlook the change pretty easily.

Rin is right about one thing - Slytherin is now suddenly the nest of a band of gorillas that happened to wander into Hogwarts. They had better learn to put up a fight soon, or the only real combatant will be Big V himself. Harry, with his new wand, will of course be far more boss than previously seen.

 

I enjoy this.

 

Rin,
1. They do not love the muggleborn. They are at best neutral about them. Imho they think the pureblood are the best (see Christmas party scenes), but they realized that wizarding world needs muggleborn after Grindelwald's disaster. Of course, even it is a little bit OOC for the Malfoys and Blacks, but acceptable for an AU story
2. We don't know enough about the Slytherins to make reliable opinion. Of course for example the Lestranges (like Draco, who was a leader later as well) are idiots, but what about the others? Although even Lucius do not seem to be very intelligent at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he make good and cunning assassination attempt on my father.
4. see rinsimyaldee's thought. It isn't the best solution to include all important characters to the story and avoid to use OC-s, but acceptable
3. Agree
6. If I understand correctly, the prophecy for Harry still exists, there won't be an other prophecy child.
In general it is far from a perfect story, but enjoyable (4/5).

 

I would actually like to see this happening. And I mean Lucius assassinating his father, not yours.

 

Why are we still talking about this fic? It's kinda shit.

 

Oh, snap; sorry, I didn't realise that we weren't allowed to have differing opinions to yours about this fic. I guess we should all just stop reading the updates and not discuss our opinions of it on a thread dedicated to such things, on a forum which previously thrived from such obviously ridiculous notions such as 'reviewing'. How silly of us.

 

In truth, I may have phrased that wrong.

I have no objection to people talking about this story. However, what I was trying to figure out is how it happens to actually be in the Library instead of the recycling bin where it belongs.

 

In reflection I didn't mean to be so snappy; the weather has been ruining my weekend, so no harm no foul?

I think that honestly the fic started out good enough for the library, hence my original rating, but since then has begun to slide. This is the major fault we have with the review and library system; people vote on what is there be be reviewed and voted upon, and the system doesn't really take into account the fact that the standard of writing or movement of the plot could get worse.

However the bonus of those of us who still follow this fic, and comment on here when there is a new chapter, is that more people will read it and then hopefully review it at it's current level (also there is the chance that those who have already voted will read the new chapters and change their vote accordingly). As it stands, though, whilst the standard has dropped in the last two chapters I still maintain that it is library worthy; it's refreshing to see a time-travel fic where Harry is actually trying to do something pro-active rather than gush over James/Sirius/Remus/Lily.

 

The fic is what you'd call a guilty pleasure for a lot of us I;'d say. It is in no way stunning, yet it remains not terrible for those of us who like the concepts portrayed.

I'm happy with it being in the library, but then again, i'd also be happy with it being in the recycling bin. My vote is somewhere between 3 and 4. I also thought your initial response was perfectly fine DarkStallion, if anyone says something stupid like that, they deserve a snappy reply.