There are at least 68 instances of missing space - see http://rubular.com/r/hqPeHCaom7

 

That is an incredibly useful tool. Yoink!

 

Yeah, regular expressions are awesome. But it probably looks like a black magic for an average person.

 

Yeah... Seriously, dude. Spacing after each full stop. Also, why doesn't Molly know Harry? We have no bloody information about what the setting is. Apparently AU? 0.o

 

If I'm remembering right, Justin enthralled Elaine while she was off school one day. It seems the divergence is that Harry was the one who stayed home and became Justins first target, fought off his attempt at enthrallment and Elaine comes home to see the aftermath of the battle, with no idea what caused it.

Elaine takes at least some of Harrys place in canon, what with the mention of her being in the yellow pages and her relationship with the Carpenters and being Mollys idol. It would probably be a fair assumption that she works with Murphy like Harry did.

Meanwhile Harry takes Elaines place on the run, only it would seem that rather than sheltering with Summer he was recruited by the Denarians.

 

Alrighty, read it through properly. I like that we're given an AU with a new PoV. You could've been clearer explaining in the beginning, but never mind.

Lots of small errors with spelling and formatting, as mentioned above.

Why on earth do you bleep out certain words? That looks utterly retarded. Couldn't you have Molly be a little bit older? Any sexualisation of her at that age is just creepy.

You've made Molly work rather well as a protagonist and I'd like to read more.