I, loved this.

It just works so well for this type of a story. My favorite part has to be how trapped everyone has become, both through their actions and the reactions of others to said actions.

Fudge is probably the main instance of this. While in the beginning his anti-muggleborn policies felt forced and he himself felt like a fool, with every new scene he has started making more and more sense. He sort of knows he is trapped and does whatever he can to return to the status quo.

Also the way Sirius's and Allan's personal prejudices have influenced the progress of the story so far and goals that Harry, Ron and Hermione have. It's far far to rare to see side characters influence on the main actors to be done with just enough restraint for it to feel present, but also not make the main's feel like tools in the hands of others.

NOt it just feels like I'm gushing, so here are some con's. Some characters, especially Allan and Amelia feel very two dimensional. Harry and Ron have been rather passive so far, Hermione is in real danger and they seem a little to content just sitting there and doing nothing. It's not something I would have expected of the canon Harry and Ron.

The change in the prophecy feels unnecessary, the way things have been going Harry doesn't need cosmic coincidence forcing him into that direction. It also feels like it's going to undercut everything Hermione has accomplished so far and that would be a shame.

Than there are the guns. I hold a silent hope that starfox will show the same restraint that he has so far and the guns will only work precisely one time. It's not like the training can't be repurposed to serve magical combat.

Than again this story has drawn me into the point where I will continue reading even if Hermione sits in a tree and snipes death eaters for the next three chapters.

 

The concept is interesting but like all her/his stories before I don't like the characterization and focus. Something just feels too OOC/AU for my taste.

 

Initial thoughts:

A Hermione-centric story based around the idea of muggleborn oppression isn't something that I would normally read. The quality pacing and interesting characterizations, however, give a unique feel that sets it apart from other fics.

Positives:

The characterization of certain characters are excellent. Characters such as Dumbledore, Sirius, and the OC Brenda are all given valid reasons for why they act as they do. They can think rationally, but their past experiences prevent them from being completely rational.

The thin line between the opposing sides in the war is very interesting. It's unquestionable that the muggleborns are in the right, ideologically wise, but their slow descent into questionable tactics is clear. It's especially interesting to see their side contrasted with Draco's, and how their rhetoric has become so similar.

Negatives:

While interesting, Hermione simply isn't compelling enough to serve as a main character, and it becomes hard to sympathize with her.

Also, I think it is out of character for Harry and Ron to be so passive in regards to the Ministry's oppression. The author tries to justify reasons for why they should at Hogwarts, but there is no way I believe that Harry and Ron would leave Hermione to fight a war on her own.

Conclusion: It is a well written fic that is uplifted by several unique characterizations. Unfortunately, it is also bogged down by several of the other characters. 4/5

 

Like Patron, the characterization of the adults and the strength of the world-building make this story better than it should be given its technical weaknesses, though Starfox's style continues to improve. I don't find the premise as compelling so it's a 4/5 for me.

While I like Hermione as a main character usually, increasingly I think the way to go for this author would be to write stories without significant teenage perspective characters. They are much better at writing life into caricatures like Fudge and Voldemort and I'd like to see where their stories could go if half of each chapter wasn't consumed by the kids.

 

I agree with what other people are saying about the fic. but Harry's characterization kind of pisses me off. When I read about Harry in this fic he comes across as unbearably naive. It's incredibly annoying.

 

Wow, a lot of Starfox fics in here lately.

I thought this one better than Patron, but not quite 4/5 yet. My current rating stands at a 3.5 because of how bland the main characters are. Maybe I'll change my mind as I keep going, although it's well past the 100k words mark already.

That seems to be a problem with Starfox. The setup is nice, the world is great, and even people like Fudge have rational reasons for stupid decisions (people generally have the problem of making characters either ridiculously smart to the point where they make zero mistakes, or so dumb that only plot armor saves them; Starfox avoids that pretty well). But the central characters swim in circles.

Starfox does have a lot of potential to improve, though. If he/she could just apply the same depth from the supporting characters to the main cast it would bump it up to a solid 4/5.

 

This is perfect for this fic and really the FF community asa whole. Regardless, this just seemed bland to me. I agree that Hermione isn't a particularly engaging character; at the same time it's interesting to see the oppression from a muggleborn POV. I can't say I'm engaged enough with this to give 4/5, but I do hope he continues to get better. Starfox has some interesting ideas.

 

It's an ok story. From what I read it started off ok, despite the fact how I didn't like Harry's characterisation. For how much he cares, he seems content to just ignire the whole crusade against muggleborns.

A generous 3/5.

 

Tend to agree with others on this thread. This is the third Starfox5 story I've read in a row, and very similar to the others. The author is obsessed with Hermione and muggleborn persecution. As with the other stories, I found Hermione particularly hard to like in this one, and the powerless Harry very frustrating.

I would be more interested in reading something with a different focus, Harry-centred rather than Hermione, particularly as written by Starfox. She's just not a sympathetic enough character to be the central focus of the novel in my view. She's both too good at picking stuff up (which greatly lessens the drama by making her superpowered) and emotionally cold - very hard to sympathise with unless you have a more "human" character taking off her rough edges. Alternatively, she'd make a pretty good Dark Lady chasing knowledge and power no matter the cost, but I don't think Starfox could write her as anything but the innocent, driven and annoying loner who is forced to use whatever she can learn to fight the good fight against a world that hates her kind.

3/5 for this one, better than Patron but not as good as the Dark Lord Never Died.

 

I'm gonna give this a 3.75/5.

Overall, this is an excellent concept. Really, the thought never even occurred to me that we could go down a Chamberlain/Hitler-Fudge/Voldemort parallel. The idea is shown exceptionally, through a fair bit of worldbuilding and the diverse POVs only add to the complexity and and beauty of the fic. Not to mention that this is some of the finest characterization and development I've ever come across. In particular, Draco, Dumbledore and the Muggleborns as a group all show an exceptional descent as the story progresses. Harry is a bit off, but as he's a minor-ish character in this, I'll let that slide.

Finally, the last two big positives of this fic are the writing and the creeping descent of almost every character. The writing is spot on, beautiful and well done. Each letter is where it needs to be and the tone is believable and not at all convoluted or unrealistic. The character development, of Hermione in particular, shows how war changes everyone. And, this kind of descend into madness is really hard to pull off.

However, what's holding this fic back from joining the upper echelons of great fanfiction is the fact that Hermione is boring. So, so boring. She's just not a good main character. She has very few redeeming qualities that make her interesting to read, and while the author does try to circumvent this, her Mary Sue like intellect and ability often holds her back. In truth, if it weren't for Hermione and Harry, I'd give this a 5/5 smack on the arse.

 

First post*

I rate this story a 3/5, and that's because I love the concept and the writing is decent.
The big thing that putting me off is that Harry is taking the backseat in this story. Normally this wouldn't irk me much.
But in this story Hermoine is the main character and for all that's she's worth, she isn't that good for a main character(She's boring as hell).
This story has potential and it could even be a great one with Harry in the lead.

* First time posting so don't hang me if the format isn't right.
English is also my 2nd language, so mistakes can be made

 

An he himself is directly responsible for around 40% of those recommendations.

 

ScottPress gave the in-depth review. Here's the Cliff's Notes version.

Starfox5 seems to have a deep and abiding case of Hermione worship. Fair enough, I liked her a lot more before the way the movies and fandom treated her like the best thing since breathing started bugging the shit out of me. Still...

Hermione, a girl who had a tough time scraping together two friends, is the nearly-unquestioned leader of a group of teenage revolutionaries: A group who have taken out slews of aurors and death eaters with scarcely a single casualty. She is skilled, apparently a strategic and tactical genius, and is desired strongly enough by both Harry and Ron that they put up with taking turns dating her so she can pick one and tell the other to go pound sand. She's on par with Dumbledore, Voldemort, and the Ministry as far as influence in and on the (Wizarding) world stage is concerned, in this story.

If you think I left Harry's name off of that list, I can only respond with, "Harry who?"

I understand Hermione is the focus of the story, and at least we're not talking about power-ups at midnight on her birthday, or her boning death eaters and calling it "being a double agent," but just because there are worse things out there doesn't mean I can ignore the sunbeams bursting out of Hermione's sphincter, nor how most of the people around her are basking in them.

Ron is probably more competent than most of his representations in fan fiction, which is par for the course in Starfox5's stories. This is only a problem if you prefer your Rons to be one-dimensionally funny and/or dumb (or bashed for being a greedy, jealous, moron).

Harry- Oh, hell... Harry goes to his classes like a good boy and can't stay on his broom properly. :facepalm I'd almost call it bashing except that it's sincere.

Great swathes of the story are as dry as Death Valley toast, proving that 'technically correct,' while having a quality all its own, really isn't the best kind of correct: Starfox5 is a cut above in the grammar and spelling departments. He also gets points from me for more or less coherent plotting from A to Z, which most other fan fic writers (myself included), are hopeless at. However, with this (as in most of his stories) you're going to be chewing through a lot of fiber before you get to any kind of dessert (which may turn out to be a sugar-free hard candy).

Hopefully I didn't strangle that last metaphor too hard.
2.6 for moral fiber.
+.1 for sheer dumb luck.

If you like muggle weapons, politics, and SunShinesOutHerWhollyHolyHoleyPosterior!Hermione, you might also want to consider Hermione Granger and the Boy Who Lived by DianeCastle, on Twisting The Hellmouth.