After reading though the 'Top 11 ways for Harry to die' Thread I came to the conclusion that for the most part they all Sucked.

We at DLP have dedicated ourselves to the pursuit of Excellent Fanfiction, and As such we should be able to come up with better ways for harry to die than a Dementers 'Hump of despair' or his scar 'Being a time bomb'. Thus the Birth of this thread! It is a call for all loyal DLP members to stretch their mental muscles a bit and come up with some truly creative ways for harry to get offed! for example,

Falling from 500 feet in the air after attempting to jump from his broomstick onto the back of an enraged Norwegian Ridgeback,

or

Being impaled on the horn of a unicorn after being turned into a being of pure evil by Voldimort's Demon Minions... or Ginny's STDs...

you know, things like that. Alright DLPers, show me what you've got!

Manatheron

 

After being forced to listen to some random Emo band, his brains melts due to the shitty quality.

Finds himself sexually attracted to Tom/Snape/Ferret and gets killed while trying to off them himself.

Killed by the "bone-crushing" hug of a Weasley/Herman.

 

By Daphne Greengrass of course

 

Killing himself for God. Runs to Voldemort with a love bomb. Voldemort apparates and Harry presses the button.

 

Being the smart chap he is, Harry knows that Dumbledore's theroy about "The Power the Dark Lord Knows Not" being Love is correct. In a last desparate ploy to rid the world of Lord Voldemort, Harry sexes Voldemort up the ass. Alas for poor Harry, Voldemort was more snake like then anyone knew. Harry succeads with his daring plan, but he gets a nasty infection from having his bits all scrapped up by Voldemort's anal spurs. They smell to a tremendous size, oozeing blood and puss. Harry is strapped a hospital bed, to prevent him from become violent during his fits of pain. Ginny, from the goodness of her heart, stradles him and begins cleaning his wounds. The noxious fumes cause her to pass onto of him though. The skanks fluppy big Viginia (still filled with Ron's man milk) falls over Harry's face, causing him to choke to death on Ron Weasley's sperm.

 

Oh, come on! You can do better than that!

WARNING, THIS MAY BE RATED "SLIGHTLY ADULT" (nothing that explicit):

Spoiler

1 - On Gabrielle's 18th birthday, her orgasms cause her to accidentally breath fire out of her... "personal" area, incinerating Harry.
2 - When below Katie Bell "riding the pony", an accidental "Engorgio" causes Katie to grow ten times in size, crushing Harry instantly.
3 - An ancient sex ritual with Luna gone wrong and accidentally blows up the British Isles.
4 - An angry, furious Bellatrix captures Harry and during intercourse, literally "sucks in" the Boy-Who-Lived, simultaneously giving Bella her the only orgasm she ever had. Oops!
5 - Suffocating in his post-coital sleep in a twin Patil sandwich.
6 - The standard orgy exhaustion after Harry tries to (and succeeds) to defeat Voldemort with the "Power of Love". (Okay, I admit I stole this from nonjon)

Well, just some thoughts, anyway. It's not weird that this was so easy for me to come up with, right? Right?

-J

 

Harry, being far more emo than usual, decides to end it all by jumping into the lake to drown. Instead the Giant Squid gets a hold of him and brings him up into the air and towards the general direction of shore. Harry, being reminded of flying on his broom, realizes that he has so much to live for and that he was a fool for not appreciating what he had. Revitalized, Harry eagerly awaits getting to shore so he could seize the day and enjoy every second.

The Giant Squid rips him in half and eats him.

 

Harry being overcome by massive heart failure after spending his Seventh Year chasing after Ginny only to find she has an oversized penis on the night of the consumation of their relationship.

Yeah, serves him right for chasing her in the first place.

 

I've actually read that one before. Harry wanted a divorce but of course "wizard marriages are for life" so he did took the most obvious route to solving his problem, an AK to the head. Once Ginny was out of the way he shagged Gabrielle Delacour while his former spouse's body was still cooling.

 

Link? How can you keep this from us?

 

Lol. I need to read that one, it's pretty much guaranteed awesomeness. Link?

 

It's Jon's Random One-Shot, I believe.

...which reminds me I still have to review that!

 

I seem to have misremembered some of it but that was the one I was thinking of. The whole green light from the spell bit made me remember it as an AK but whatever, close enough.

 

Harry being raped to death by Remus when he escaped one full moon... when the naughty werewolf HAD taken his potion (never any silver around when you need it, oh well).

 

Harry, on the Hogwarts ground on the way between classes, stumbling over a small stone, breaking his neck due to a misshapen landing.

Or falling down the stairs, impaling himself on Snape's nose. Or on Lupin's pedo-stiffie.

 

He kills Voldemort without breaking a sweat, decides he wants to be a Dark Lord and topples the Ministry, kills all his old friends and the whore, kills Dumbledore, gets together with Fleur and Gabrielle Delacour at the same time and takes over the world. Then, when he's finished, completely in control of everything, is the happiest person in the world, gets laid every night by a pair of horny veela, is practically a God. He gets into a bath and drops the hair dryer in the water.