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WIP Dominion by Materia-Blade - M - Worm

Discussion in 'Worm' started by Klackerz, May 23, 2015.

  1. Blorcyn

    Blorcyn High Inquisitor DLP Supporter DLP Silver Supporter

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    Jarik they put Glaistig Uaine in there, I mean it was her idea but yeah. She could have killed everyone in there at once, they don't seem to actively care what happens in there as long as it stays in there.

    Really does make me wonder why the birdcage exists, when kill orders do anyway.

    I enjoyed copacetic, but I'm enjoying this more. There's less miss and more hit. Taylor's handled really well, the interesting part will be seeing how she progresses once she's more firmly entrenched on the dark side. Is this story about the turn or is it about crazy hat lady and some subsequent development?

    4/5 for now.
     
  2. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling Prestige DLP Supporter

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    The Birdcage is for capes who they can reasonably expect to capture. Kill orders are for those that are too dangerous to apprehend.
     
  3. Ryuugi Shi

    Ryuugi Shi Jazz Hands!!!

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    This is not always true--kill orders come with a lot of problems. Here is the post by Wildbow that covers the topic:

    And here's his Word of God concerning Heartbreaker:

    Bolded the important parts. Taylor in this almost certainly wouldn't get a kill order for much the same reason as Heartbreaker--even with a bunch of professionals working together, it's very easy for shit to go wrong. If you throw in every maniac in a hundred miles, well...yeah.
     
  4. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Dominion Worm AU

    Dominion
    Materia Blade
    Dominion

    I like the this story. Basically Taylor has master administrative shard that controls humans within 50 foot of her. She beats Shadow Stalker and is faced with the 9. Update rate is consistent, but Materia Blade has this habit of starting fics to keep himself writing.


    I thought the dialogue was good. His Jack Slash is on point. It is early-ish to give it a five star rating. I will however give a four because it's engaging and as far s9 Taylor goes this if the best one so far. You do have to suspend , but I want to see more of her power set.
     
  5. Chime

    Chime Dark Lord

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    It's a neato story, for sure, but something about it doesn't sit quite right with me? Maybe it's how all so neatly the Protectorate act to justify Taylor's actions to herself. Or maybe it's how crazy hat lady pretty much... Well, with her at the helm I feel like nothing can do wrong, or at least, that Taylor isn't so much the protagonist as the vehicle for a certain plot d-I mean other character's choices.

    This would get a 5 from me if Taylor stood up and got some agency of her own. Contessa is like kiddie wheels for a plot, you could literally justify anything with her orchestrating events. "My, do you need an elephant to crashland from a passing-over cargo plane to crush Sophia with it? Sure, sounds easy enough." She's almost as bad as Coil steering the plot along.
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2015
  6. Jarik

    Jarik Chief Warlock

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  7. yak

    yak Moderator Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Merged into the existing Library thread.
     
  8. Vira

    Vira Order Member

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  9. Dreamweaver Mirar

    Dreamweaver Mirar Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

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    Just being over a week ago :p
     
  10. Halt

    Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros.

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  11. Rayndeon

    Rayndeon Professor

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    Looks like Taylor is going to be paying Emma a visit at some point. Bye bye Brockton Bay?

    I have to say though I find Contessa's presence in this story somewhat off-putting. A lot of people complain that she's just a plot device in canon and that's precisely the entirety of the role she's playing thus far in this story as well, simply to ensure that Taylor is on the path to becoming a member of the S9.

    It rubs me the wrong way because the implication is that Taylor isn't able to, on her own merits, become convinced to be a part of the S9. It strips her of a certain degree of narrative agency and it uses Contessa in precisely the ways that many people disliked about her presence in canon.

    Compare to something like Unbreakable, where we can see how Jack Slash would be able to corrupt Taylor and where Taylor being Taylor could fall on her own merits. No Contessa involved.

    Taylor was also fairly passive in this chapter, but I guess it's a little more understandable here. This Taylor hasn't quite attained her own strength as a member of the Undersiders and all that.
     
  12. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

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    I have to say, the story had peaked with the Emma/Sophia chapter and every chapter after this has been, while okay, unable to have the same kind of pull.

    It's still build up, but this is, what, the third or fourth chapter where Jack is trying to manipulate Taylor, and with her being afraid and uncertain? I get why, but still, getting a bit repetitive.
     
  13. Avery

    Avery Second Year DLP Supporter

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    I'm of two minds about this story. On one hand, it's great in concept--everything from Taylor's power to other people's perceptions of her are aptly written. I love the angst potential it has, with only the protagonist left to wage war against the slippery slope of letting go and giving in to an easier existence filled with horrifying decisions and consequences for her unwilling victims around her.

    But then the story seemed to shift, in some way, after Taylor's decision to hunt down Nilbog and the conversation with Emma. It feels more rushed now, particularly with Jack, though the writing itself has not necessarily taken a negative dive. Perhaps it was my own expectation that Taylor would try to attempt to achieve more things--such as taking control of Nilbog--on her own before further encounters with the S9 that's driving this train of thought.

    I have no idea how this is going to go, and will hope for the best.

    Even so, for the lovely accentuation of the fact that the real trials in life are not just man versus man, but also (wo)man versus self, I give this:

    4/5.
     
  14. Jarik

    Jarik Chief Warlock

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    Nice chapter.

    This line:

    The path had a reason. It always did. That didn’t stop the lump in her throat though.

    “Path: Remove emotional attachment for Dominion.”

    There were more steps than the last three times. She wasn’t surprised.