Title: Dreaming
Author: esama
Rating: teen
Genre: Angst
DLP category: Azkaban fic
Pairing: None
Status: One-shot, complete
Summary: Harry Potter has been in prison for over two years and now he's being released. The usual sort of Azkaban drabble.

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4412418/1/Dreaming

This is NOT the "usual sort" of Azkaban!Harry fic. This Harry is quiet, resigned, maybe broken. All his happy, strong memories are gone, and even most of the angry ones as well. I suspect that this is what would happen to me, in Azkaban.

 

Hmm, not really my favorite type of thing. It didn't seem to be all that angsty considering what it is about, much more resigned and accepting than anything else. Well written and all that jazz, I'd be somewhat curious to see this expanded on some in either another one-shot or perhaps a short fic. 4/5

 

I didn't like it. The whole thing was him getting released from Azkaban, talking about his emotions and current state. That's it. So I'm giving it a 1/5, only because of the good grammar and the premise. It would be better if it was a full blown fanfic. Basically, everything Sree said.

 

It is super-extra short, which is something I tend to like, but in the very first paragraph it gets hung up on unnecessary minutiae. There, I said it: it’s a two thousand word fic that is too long. We’re with Harry, as he sits in a dark box and we get to feel just how dull he is.

I guess there are signs of his progressing insanity. He’s on a row boat and all he hears is

The oars? Inaudible! He’s also in danger of suffocating because

Poor Harry. If only someone would teach you how to love. I mean breathe. Very not great, esama, very very not great. 1/5

 

Some people might put forth the confounding notion that an iron box without any windows sounds suspiciously like a cell.

I thought the writing was good. I'd like the author to continue, but as a one-shot it is pointless. 2/5.

 

First two paragraphs of the story:

You'd think a story this short would at least have been consistent with the months. Not to mention catch the duplicate thes.

 

It would be interesting if it continued, but it could also continue and ride the failboat from Azkaban all the way to Hogwarts.

 

I agree with everyone, but I'd rate the story a 4. Odd, but here's why:

If I understand it correctly, the author set out to portray an emotion, a person's state, rather than a character or a plot. In that, the author was successful. I think everyone's feedback indicates that.

On the other hand, capturing an emotion, or a moment in time, or any other elements of a good scene or story does NOT make a story in itself. So in terms of writing a story, the author failed.

I'm rating the story relativwely, in terms of how well the author did against the stated goal of the fic, rather than absolutely, in terms of how it rates as a well-rounded story.

Why a "4" rating, instead of a 2 or 3? DLP really has three ratings: 5 (unbelievably good), 4 (good enough to be in the library), 3 and lower (fail). Granted, everyone likes to expound on the quality of failure, but a fail is still a fail.

 

This story was rather well written, but it needs more. The premise of Harry being broken in Azkaban, becoming nothing but a shell, is decent, but it requires expansion. The author should have made it a full story, or he should write a sequel and provide closure. As it stands now, 3/5

 

I give a 2/5 based on the idea and the writing style. Too short, and everything else discussed above.

 

This drabble was labeled a 'drabble' so I see no reason for people to be dissapointed. It was a bit angsty and all with the more-than-usual restrictions for our dear Harry but it was a formidable little piece of emotion in the 'neutral and unfeeling' path.

I say a 4 out of 5. I would mark it at full but the fact that the world was not made aware of any of his feelings or the unfairness of his cell is kinda grr-worthy.

And yes, I think it was too short. If it had been more Viginette-like with a whole bunch of italicized crap then maybe it would be different.