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WIP Dreaming of Sunshine by Silver Queen - T - Naruto

Discussion in 'Naruto' started by Moridin, Jul 1, 2012.

  1. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Just because some readers might accept an out of the blue level up doesn't mean the story should cut corners. If Shikako is going to keep up with Naruto and Sasuke, she is going to have to ninja the fuck out of her available skills, and cheat like mad with her stone of Gelel. I am enjoying the way DoS is showing her progression, even if I would also like to see some more Plot related chapters.
     
  2. katreus

    katreus First Year

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    I just meant that I didn't realize she was going to go this way with the Kisuke plot. I mean, it made sense after the next chapter came out. But before, I was somewhat puzzled. It's just great plotting by Silver Queen.

    Well, I think there's a difference between leveling up in powers and abilities, especially if it was already foreshadowed (i.e. a basic attack being upgraded in some way), and gaining new knowledge (here, potentially Edo Tensei and the Curse Seal). The second is much harder to explain if it's skipped over, and I do think it can very easily be viewed as a betrayal of the reader if the character is acting on information the reader doesn't know she has. When it gets pulled out in the relevant spot, it would feel pretty deus ex machina.

    Although, just in general, I'm liking the chapters we are getting.
     
  3. Leif Campbell

    Leif Campbell Squib

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    Usually I don't like self inserts but this one is actually rather gripping and is making me rethink my view of the genre a little.
     
  4. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Updated again, with more filler, but it was fairly entertaining. Shikako and Kankuro snarking at each other makes for a fun scene.
     
  5. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage ~ Prestige ~

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    Yeah, love the rapport and relationship she has with the whole cast, really. You can tell they are all friends and it just works to convince us that these people really wouldn't give up on each other, no matter what.

    The manga tells us that they are friends and allies, DoS builds and shows it.
     
  6. katreus

    katreus First Year

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    Also, a sneaky line during Shikako's show indicating that Shikako can now set seals with her shadow.
     
  7. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, hinting and build up to that has been on point. When it eventually gets out that she can kill anything her shadow falls on shit is going to be hilarious, especially in diplomatic settings.
     
  8. katreus

    katreus First Year

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    So, uh, Shikamaru's going to need a new arm. And hand. Jeez. I don't... can that even be fixed? I mean, even Tsunade needs ... grafts? Something to attach to? She doesn't just create mass out of nowhere, does she?

    And Shikako steals tricks from her opponents again, this time from the Sound 4. She's a one woman barrier sealing team!


    Edited by CheddarTrek...
    Added spoiler tags. Chapter had been out for <8 hours when you posted the 'big thing' at the end of the chapter. Common courtesy to add a spoiler tag when it's that new.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 3, 2016
  9. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Spoiler tags are done as follows... [ spoiler ] texttexttext [ / spoiler ] But without all the spaces.
     
  10. katreus

    katreus First Year

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    Got it. Sorry!
     
  11. Knyght

    Knyght Alchemist

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    Well, Shikamaru's ninja career just ended. At least as a field combatant.

    The only way I think that Shikamaru could possibly get his arm back with the means currently available to Konoha is if Tsunade uses the Strength of a Hundred Seal Jutsu on him the way Sakura did with Obito in canon. Assuming that would give him the same level of regeneration which is questionable. Otherwise he'll stuck with a prosthetic such as a puppet arm.

    It's not too much of a loss in the grand scheme of things since Shikamaru's intelligence is far more valuable than his combat skills (which is everything Shikako can do better anyway), he's just more limited in where he can apply it.
     
  12. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

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    I'm very interested to see the outcome of this. If nothing else there will be some emotions and whatnot to deal with that could prove interesting and drive character development. Maybe we'll see Shikako try to 'fix' it with seals somehow.

    A lot of the chapter though was just... standard. Skimpy on detail in a few places, which I don't usually think of DoS as being. The ending made this chapter for me, the rest of it felt like it needed another pass (but still good).
     
  13. katreus

    katreus First Year

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    I've also seen it suggested that the Gelel stone fragment Shikako still has could possibly help. It could (previously) heal and regenerate people.

    Shikamaru's never been a big taijutsu user and his shadow jutsu doesn't really need hands or hand seals. Shadow Possession will be harder to use, that is, to force someone to do what you want (i.e. Shikako's problems in her attempt on Kidomaru with his two extra limbs). You're right that Shikamaru's intelligence and grooming for, presumably, Chief Tactician is the most important though.

    Or sage mode. She's already musing that the petrification seems like an influx of natural chakra into a limb, used offensively.

    I took a quick look at the Naruto wiki. Sakura was able to fix petrification in the movie (how?) so... presumably, petrification can be healed by Tsunade. Well, in the case where the petrified limb wasn't actually shattered.

    I did find it interesting that for all of Shikamaru's worries about serious injuries to Shikako (and Shikako's retort that it could happen to him too - just once needed), it's Shikamaru who got seriously injured. Of course, this happened on Shikako's watch / mission...

    As for the actual fight, Konoha's team is in a bind: Shikamaru's injury is obvious, Akamaru is down, and Shikako just got nailed with a presumably poisoned kunai to her back. Unless Shikako or Sai pulls out something, not sure how they can retreat fast and/or force the other group to back off.
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2016
  14. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I'm expecting Shikako to pull out her shadow form and go to town.

    That, or we'll discover that the entire scene has been staged somehow. It didn't feel like the Konoha team was fighting at top capacity for some reason, but whether that is deliberate or a consequence of a chapter more sparse in details than other we'll have to see.
     
  15. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

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    I also felt the details were a bit sparse, and I definitely think that led to a feeling that they were fighting at lower than normal capacity.

    However, Kiba and Shikamaru aren't as good at front line fighting as Sasuke and Naruto are, so that's part of it too. Toss in the contact poison, and I think that part might have been deliberate.

    Still would have preferred a few more details. The two paragraphs of the actual right, starting with the "I darted forward, using the sand to cover my attacks" just felt... like, I had no idea how the battle 'felt' or something.

    What are the ink clones doing again? Because they don't seem to have actually created a diversion. I'd have expected a comment on them either working or not working, in terms of when the bad guys showed up, etc.
     
  16. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I think the ink clones are playing as the royals, unless they're all ink clones somehow and this is all one big trick on both the enemy ninja and the reader.
     
  17. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Okay, yeah, that makes sense. I don't think it's a big trick b/c it'd feel like cheating on the author's part, since we're always in Shikako's POV, so if it wasn't actually her... yeah.
     
  18. Heleor

    Heleor EsperJones DLP Supporter

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    Updated.

    That was brutal of Shikako. I like it.
     
  19. xerebz

    xerebz Squib

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    New chapter. Really liked how the author portrayed Shikako's helplessness, desperation, and anger. I can't help but feel Karenbana will come back to get revenge. Though I always get that feeling when an enemy is allowed to survive.
     
  20. VanRopen

    VanRopen Headmaster

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    On the one hand, that was great.

    On the other,
    why would she bother with staring at the enemy while they faltered and do the whole "run" thing? Should have thrown a kunai the moment she knew her explosion didn't kill her. I mean, she had no trouble snapping the dude's neck literally moments earlier.
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2016
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