To me Jack sparrow always seemed like to be an easy going guy. This characterization feels too cold. Sense you did mention it; what are the plans on how far to take the story after they return?

 

Can't say that I was expecting to like this story... but my expectations were clearly wrong, as I am already dying to read more.

 

Well, I finished reading what has been written so far, and... I like it. Mostly. I wont bemoan the lack of magic as others have done, because I'm sure there's a reason of sorts behind it, and right now, the use of magic would sort of...cheapen...the story.

Something about Jack's characterization seems a tiny bit 'off', but I can't really place it. I like how he's written, it just doesn't seem to really fit how I see him, if that makes any sense. I suppose that's due it being movie-based rather than book-based - getting a true feel for a character is a lot harder, and there is bound to be a greater difference of opinion on what a character 'should' be.

I'll give this a 4/5, just because while I like it, it doesn't truly blow me away, which is needed to get a 5 from me. I look forwards to how you take this from here, and the Harry/James/Jack interactions shape up.

 

Hey! Leave the poor newb alone! I never knew you were female, you seem to write like a man... with masculinity.

 

You think so?

I think you're confusing "Has a sense of humor" with "Is an easy going guy".

 

Huh, for some reason I was under the impression that this was pre-movie. Le shrug.

So, what's the guess on how many more times Tinn will listen to "NO MAGIC? MINUS FIVE OUT OF FIVE!" before she goes ballistic?

 

Moar plz.

Seriously.

 

It isn't bad. I am not fond of these HP/POTC xovers but it is better than some I have attempted to read definetly.

 

What part of the characterisation feels cold? The passages in his point of view, or the rest?

Although I know the major events occurring in this story, I don't have a chapter-by-chapter plan written for it; I'm inventing half of the story as I write it (which is part of why I love it -- I no longer have that pleasure with Song of the Trees, for instance) and I'm still not sure what the end will be, beyond "they won't be in the PotC universe anymore." That said, I doubt the story will survive long after their return to the HP world. 5, 6 chapters at the most?

I love getting those reviews. Many thanks.

Eidolonic: thanks for the review. Since you "mostly" like it, are there specific parts that you did not like?

J22: ...Thank you?

*stares sadly at the fist-shaped holes she made in the wall*

yhelo: thanks, I also hope I can update soon. Unfortunately it's revision time.

Any specific criticism?

Oh and you've got a typo in your first Nietzsche quote. My left eyelid twitches weirdly every time I see it.

EDIT: also, "ture or false"?

 

A very good story. Nothing more.

There is one thing that should have been seen alreadysome type of magic would be nice) in the this story to make it excellent. 4/5 for now.

 

The first and only PotC crossover I like.

Not only is it interesting, it isn't slash! (right, Tinn?)

I like the fact that wand magic doesn't work, they are in a different universe after all. The magic that James does seems pretty complex, but subtle. I wonder how long that took him, and if he can do anything other then tweeking the enviroment.

Also, what part, if any, will Calypso play? Does her magic have anything to do with James'?

5/5

 

I'm afraid I don't share that opinion Dark. Different can be good, if done well. (Obviously.)

 

I don't think Jack is necessarily cold in this story, he's just.. almost sane? Jack's brilliant, but it's not something you could tell from having a conversation with him or seeing him for the first time. He's random and physically active - in the sense that he was always moving his hands or eyes, pacing, or fidgeting with something.

The Jack we see in the story makes sense. He should be brilliant. He should be a cunning manipulator. He just shouldn't appear to be.

 

@ Galleon: I think Jack is a hard character to write. Some of the things that make Sparrow so memorable were both the dialogue and Depp's movements. Like he was drunk all the time or something. Writing out a character without the motions is pretty difficult.

@ Dark: Agree to disagree then. Harry is above average student, Hermione is smart. Considering the James hadn't been able to get out of that time period, perhaps another mind is in order? Magic is coming soon and I'm sure Hermione's presence will be much better place.

Of course, I could also say that I'm a H/Hr shipper, so... whatever.

 

Writing out the right physical personalities can be quite difficult, but I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't think Tinn Tam could nail it. It's just that little bit of him that makes Jack, Jack.

 

The main issue I have is that Harry is a pretty lame main character. I can't really find myself rooting for him, as he doesn't really do much of anything. There was a shade of a good, strong main character when he saved those 2 woman on that trading ship, but other than all he seems to do is get his shit stolen by Jack and pine after meeting his Dad whom he's never met.


3/5, cool little fic, but little else imo.

 

Jaba: ...You've got to be kidding me.

Dragonrider Novera: Nope, no slash. And yes, Calypso has a part to play in this story -- because THERE'S NOT ENOUGH MAGIC, am I right?

Syao, LuxDragon and Galleon: I chose to make Hermione cross as well, partly because my favourite sounding board complained that it would be a "sausage fest" if I didn't add her (I was tempted to make Harry cross alone) and partly because, while thinking about the plot, I found a lot of uses for her later. She'll be more useful than she is now -- in fact I'll make her even more so than I had originally planned, since it seems to be such an issue.

I realise I'm responding to a lot of criticism with "that'll come later on!"... That can't be good. Ah well.

If you can't root for Harry, that's my fault, I suppose -- but I took the decision to have Harry as IC as possible long ago, so if you didn't like Harry in the HP books (HBP and DH included) and if I'm doing my job half-right, you won't like him much in this.

Now what happened to Harry so far? He got stranded on a desert island, got rescued, found himself on an 18th century ship among thieves and murderers, had to avoid being killed or simply dying by falling off a yard, while discreetly searching his Horcrux and protecting Hermione to the best of his abilities; and finally he participated to a boarding.

Given the circumstances, surviving isn't bad already, in my honest opinion (imagine yourself in his situation for a couple of seconds... that's usually what I do when I'm writing about a character). There was one time where he was left to his own devices and free to act. Wait, when was that again?

Oh right. The boarding.

Jack's awesome. For now, Jack is more awesome than Harry. Which is only realistic, given how many years he lived and in which conditions he lived them. Duh.

I hate this argument so much. "He can't miss his parents, he's never seen them!" Ooooookay... Have you read the same books as I have?

Besides. "Pining after meeting his Dad"? You make it sound as if I wrote forty thousand words of angst...