Well, it was one of them. It wasn't the ONLY one.

 

Amusingly, Jeconais has brought me to this thread as well. He has a new story, Blue Steel, with two rather large chapters out thus far and the rest already written. Now, it's pretty bog-standard Jeconais fare: adoption and shilling of minor characters, painless and easy House Elf liberation, all of Hogwarts student body being slammed for acting like kids even though they are kids, Harry learning things unreasonably quickly and being unreasonably good at everything, etc.

However, it contains two elements that I honestly cannot abide. The first is the nigh-universal practice of pureblood males to avoid bathing because it is supposedly a muggle custom. Harry uses a special charm to hide Ron's scent from himself and Hermione. This is the about as clear-cut as stupid character bashing gets: the complete invention of a quality that has no presence or precedence in canon specifically to make certain characters look dumb, regressive, and disgusting. It has no place in the story except as a bashing tool.

The second story element that grinds my gears is his decision to make Romilda Vane a Gypsy. Not merely a British witch with a Roma background which would be perfectly acceptable, but a full-blown, Hollywood, stereotypical, knife-twirling, curse-happy Gypsy. Whose aunt or grandma or something is, of course, an authority on Potions and can conveniently replace Snape. He cites as influences the Kalderash clan from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which was a very Hammer-horror portrayal, and the gypsies in From Russia With Love. Having done a little research on the Roma and antiziganism in modern Europe, I feel that this is in pretty bad taste.

Bonus: Harry becomes a blacksmith in this story. Specifically, he becomes a Skyrim blacksmith: he grinds his Smithing skill by making tons of daggers, eventually achieving the Elven Smithing perk. And the potions in the story use Skyrim ingredients.

 

That sounds so fucking awful. This guy just can't quit, can he?

 

Jesus Christ, I could only get 1/5th of the way through the first chapter. Romilda is apparently a potions genius and better at potions that every seventh year NEWT student. On top of that there is just something about the writing that screams complete disinterest to me.

We need a DLP blacklist for authors who write heaps but always write crap.

 

What's wrong with a young Dumbledore?

 

There's nothing wrong with a young Dumbledore. But there's plenty wrong with being a young God Emperor of Mankind.

 

Yes, it's an easy way to completely ignore canon, which I vastly prefer over 'canon, now with 20% more spelling errors'.

 

Learning unreasonably quickly and being unreasonably good at everything sounds like a young Dumbledore, not the GEoM.

 

Being 'unreasonably' anything sounds like a Gary-Stu.

 

The difference lies in the scale. The author in question is somewhat infamous for where his protagonists lie on that scale. To offer a relevant quote from Kingdom Come: "One, the zenith of human fortitude and ambition; the other, the pinnacle of otherworldly power."

 

Even if it's a bit too much, still sounds kind of epic--nice wording. That's not really what would keep me from reading a fic.

 

You'd need to read a lot of Jeconais to understand. The criticisms levelled above are perfectly valid. Fairytale!Harry and KindaRealistic!Harry are almost perfectly divorced from each other. Jeconais attempts to bring them together.

Let's just put it this way, there's a good reason fairy tales are short.

 

This actually annoys me a lot more than most of the other shit you listed.

This broke my brain, seriously, what?

On the whole, garbage. I'm amazed you made it far enough into the story to discover all those flaws.

 

What happens in the story if you commit the heinous crime of under-age sex?

 

Snape having sex with anyone is an act of great evil, no matter the circumstances.

 

For the guy, sure. For the girl? Probably not.

In fiction? Visit to the hospital wing to heal everything hurt by anatomically impossible sex acts.

 

I thought you were implying in this story that if two underage people have sex something terrible happens...

 

Studies have shown that statistically, girls are more likely to walk out unsatisfied from sex than are boys.

Note my usage of the word statistically. No, seriously, just note it.

 

There's one Fic I'm reading, a Deconstruction of Soul Bonds, that actually deals this was really effectively.

While explaining how Soul Bonds work to Harry and Ginny, Sirius mentions they are not supposed to have sex until they're 17 because Reasons. Later, they pretend they just had sex and can feel their Magic leaving them to them to prank Sirius, who admits he actually made the sex rule up. They all then agree that in retrospect, it was a pretty strange rule.

Also, as Odran said, Snape having sex with anyone is a crime against nature.

 

That sounds like something from The Thorny Rose... or am I wrong? No, wait, my bad. Amplitude, Frequency and Resistance of the Soul Bond?