1. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice

WIP Eclipse of the Sky by Firefawn - M

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by Darius, Feb 6, 2007.

  1. Darius

    Darius 13/m/box

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Messages:
    2,582
    Location:
    The Octagon - Say that to my face and not online m
    Title: Eclipse of the Sky
    Author: Firefawn
    Rating: M
    Genre: Romance/Action Adventure
    DLP Category: General
    Pairing: H/OC
    Chapters: 39
    Words: 264,966
    Updated: July 13, 2011
    Published: May 2, 2006
    Status: WIP

    Summary: The magical world contains many species: Vampires, Werewolves, Veelas, & Metamorphs. But what if Voldemort began to harness the unique powers of each? As the Muggle & Magical worlds collide, what can Harry do to stop him? Harry & OC Remus & Tonks
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2920229/1/

    This is one of my favorite stories around. It's very original, with idea's I've never seen before. The H/OC may throw a few people off but this OC is not a Mary-Sue or even close to one. Harry is becoming stronger but it's not Super!Harry by any means.

    4.5/5


    Checked by Minion, July 27, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 15, 2018
  2. Rob

    Rob Looked into the void

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2005
    Messages:
    225
    Location:
    Regina, Saskatchewan
    This was the fic that brought me into the Harry Potter community. A classic, and quite long, but really not all that much to boast about. Unless it's changed, then it's still about this girl who is more powahful than anyone else and does things purely with her mind, &c. &c..

    Historical, but really not that challenging of a read. While the character might not be a Mary Sue, she's definately a poor plot device.

    2.5/5, for historical value.
     
  3. Ragon

    Ragon Dark Lord

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2005
    Messages:
    1,889
    Location:
    I lived in my mind but I lost my key.
    Might just be me but everytime I try it I just cant get into it. Im sure its very good if you can get into it. I just cant.
     
  4. Darius

    Darius 13/m/box

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Messages:
    2,582
    Location:
    The Octagon - Say that to my face and not online m
    Enh, I always thought that the sacrifice with the power made it not that great. The power has not been that great so far either :/

    I can definitely see how a lot of members is this community wouldn't like it though. It's Harry Centric but it focuses on other characters a fair amount as well.
     
  5. haroon_angel

    haroon_angel Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2007
    Messages:
    125
    Location:
    karachi,pakistan
    Its alright although you can't call it classic
     
  6. DemonDream

    DemonDream Professor

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2006
    Messages:
    402
    Location:
    Your closet. Please clean it, I can't move.
    I just finished reading this. I like it, quite a bit. Grammatically, there are some issues, whorl instead of whirl, one case had mealy instead of melee, but for the most part it was good. Story wise, I think it is pretty interesting, especially since this story has Voldemort being a very prominent villain, rather than someone who is just kind of...there. I will admit that the OC's powers are a bit much, but at the same time, I agree that the drawbacks far exceed the power. Overusing it has a very high possibility of killing her, which is why she is out of commision from taking out one or two people. A definite 4/5 from me, would be 5/5 if not for the rather jarring grammar mistakes.
     
  7. huntedorange

    huntedorange Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2006
    Messages:
    273
    Location:
    Highlands
    Yeah it not brilliant by any means but i suppose it did introduce alot of ideas that even now have not become cliche really. Some definite grammar problems but apart from that it flows quite well, overall a very decent and very long fic.
     
  8. Darius

    Darius 13/m/box

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Messages:
    2,582
    Location:
    The Octagon - Say that to my face and not online m
    I never really noticed any glaring issues. But I generally don't notice them when just reading.
     
  9. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Messages:
    1,166
    first couple of chapters were very good, but there's just something about it that makes you go 'eeeehhhhh I'll finish it later.'

    3/5
     
  10. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2005
    Messages:
    2,921
    Tried it but first few chapters never really caught my attention. Too many OC POV's + weak canonish Harry + Marry Sue killed it for me. I'm not gonna mark it because a nicely written story like this deserves a trip to the library.
     
  11. deathinapinkboa

    deathinapinkboa Minister of Magic

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2006
    Messages:
    1,279
    Location:
    Democratic Republic of The Congo

    My sentiment excatly.
     
  12. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2007
    Messages:
    3,948
    An old story isn't automatically become a classic.

    It's just an old story, written by someone with a serviceable writing style. Speaking of which, it tries to be poetic but the language is too dry.

    The OC is a huge problem - let me enumerate that she is a member of an uber-exotic-powerful species concocted by the author that effortlessly outclasses anything found in canon. She's apparently kept as a pet by Hagrid.

    And the intentional vagueness is a further blow. The term Reach appears first in the first chapter - and then the author leaves it unexplained.

    It reappears next in CHAPTER 13.

    In a story where the average chapter length is approximately 6666 words.

    And the term still isn't explained. What the fuck is going on here?

    That's not mystery - it's contrived, deliberate withholding information from the readers that the characters already know, done infuriatingly and without the least subtlety in the hopes that the reader will keep going out of curiosity.

    Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo how cryptic. Pity firefawn didn't linger more on the matter.

    The base premise, Voldemort seeking to combine magical powers of various creatures, has some promise, but it is executed unimaginably badly.

    1.5/5, rounded down to a generous 2 for the purposes of rating the thread.

    Don't read this if you read Harry-centric only OR other-character-centric stories.
     
  13. Rico Rodriguez

    Rico Rodriguez Banned

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2018
    Messages:
    96
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    No.13 Grimmauld Place
    It is not abandoned, and it's still updating. Now it has about 690k words, as of today.
     
  14. Innomine

    Innomine Unspeakable Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2007
    Messages:
    769
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Zealand
    High Score:
    4,500
    Holy shit, this was the first fic I ever read. I remember loving it for a while, then coming to DLP and learning what good FF was.

    Still, might have to check it out again, apparently the author has rewritten chapters 1-12.
     
  15. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    13
    Eclipse of the Sky has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 65
    Words: 710,089
    Updated: 2018-09-15 02:11:39 UTC
    Published: 2006-05-03 03:24:55 UTC
    Previously updated: 7 days ago
    New Summary:
    Blood...it flowed through us all, until Voldemort began to twist it, taint it, harnessing it for his own purpose. The power of the species of the magical world–werewolves, vampires, metamorphmagi-was his for the taking. Harry would know, he'd taken his girlfriend's, & that would be his last mistake. He was going to find him, & then kill him. Dark Harry/OC - Rating for Mature scenes

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.