Probably a nay. For one Harry is not 'effectively immortal'. The prophecy isn't like a binding contract where one side has to kill the other. It's just that with the way both Voldemort and Harry are they would eventually lead to a battle where one dies and the other lives.

That said, the thought did cross my mind that it could have been Dumbledore, but then, it also crossed my mind that Tonks could have turned traitor...

 

One does wonder where all these people are getting bits of Dumbledore to make their polyjuice out of...

I think he was actually referring to the events of GOF, revealed in DH: that when Voldemort took on Harry's blood, he became a pseudo-horcrux for Harry. With Harry being a pseudo-horcrux for Voldemort as well, we can see where the "either must die at the hand of the other" line came from.

 

Last chapter just completely ruined it for me. Basically exactly the same as what Taure wrote.

3/5

 

New chapter was a little bit disappointing, but I'm nowhere close to giving up on this story yet. It's still very interesting and I'm hoping the author addresses the various criticisms that have been given so far.

The author sounds like a reasonable guy and is probably not like one of those authors who are arrogant and refuse to address criticism, ideas, and other little things that readers point out.

 

You know, I don't think I've ever read Death Eater!Tonks. Then again, there really is no reason for her to turn evil, is there?

 

The bad thing about DLP is that I thoroughly enjoyed the last (two) chapter(s) and then I come into the For Review section and hear everyone trashing it, and the author. Not that what you all are saying isn't true, but... Whatever. You're fucking it up for me.

I personally liked the fact that Dumbledore is being impersonated multiple times. Imagine Dumbledore's reaction when he finds out. And of course, it sets up a believeable reason for Harry to lose trust in Dumbledore--you wouldn't trust someone if every time you turned around the motherfucker was trying to kill you.

The Galloping Galleon's description was very good and I like the grizzly man, but even I have to say that everyone on board knowing about Harry Potter competing in a wandless battle is kind of a stretch. Like Nastia Liukin. If he would have dropped that part it wouldn't have been nearly as bad. Maybe the answer is in leaving out the conversation altogether. Then Harry would be even more bewildered upon reaching his destination, and he could figure out what little he could from the prisoners.

The story is still pretty cool, though. It's a 4/5 and library worthy.

EDIT: Has anyone approached the author about joining DLP? He seems like he would fit in pretty well here, based on his A/N and the story thus far.

 

I sent him a PM with a link to this thread on it, and a couple of bits of advice etc etc.

Also, my main problem wasn't with Dumbledore being impersonated multiple times as such, it was more with Harry falling for it twice.

Especially when he apparently had alarm bills blaring, I remember a phrase like this.

So, he just thought this and thought... huh, well, whatever, lets just ignore my gut feelings of what has happened before.

I'd of been up for it happening twice, to a different person, or perhaps a better impersonation, but not to Harry who thinks it is him, but just goes along with him anyway.

 

Yeah, Harry falling for an impostor twice in a row was a bit much, but I can overlook that. Ch6 wasn't bad for me, even if I skipped some parts (the descriptions of the ship).
The only real problem I have with the story is that Harry is at Hogwarts for one week and doesn't tell Dumbledore (or at least Flitwick) anything about his magic or the underground. That just feels like the author tries to unnecessarily draw out the plot and annoys me to no end.

But all in all it's a good and promising story.
4/5

 

The latest chapter is a bit... off. Hopefully it's going somewhere good.

I'm with the people who are annoyed by the repeat appearance of counterfeit!Dumbledore. I hate it when the heroes fall for the same trick twice. If it's the same trick except cleverly altered, that's one thing, or even if a long time has passed since it was last used. This shit with Harry falling for the same trick right after he was nearly killed by it, though... bleah.

Oh, and I don't buy for a minute that it was Tonks. If she was in on it, she could have disappeared with him when they left Hogwarts in the first place. After all, it's not like they won't notice he's missing after a few minutes at the Burrow, so it wouldn't be advantageous to take him there then kidnap him.

Unless you're arguing for a mind-controlled Tonks, I guess. Then maybe the bad guys only nabbed her after Harry was already at the Weasleys.

I've read stories where Tonks is a complete bitch who is fully behind the awful things that uber-manipulative!evil!Dumbledore does to Harry, but I think I've only seen Death Eater!Tonks once, outside of fics where Harry himself becomes a Death eater (which are almost universally lame).

Anyway, the DE!Tonks was in a story (on Ficwad, I believe) where Harry ended up in an alternate universe, so you can decide for yourself whether or not an AU!Tonks counts.

Pardon me while I ramble...

The author of that story, if I recall correctly, pulled a real douchebag move.

Evil!AU!Tonks was posing as an innocent victim and, apparently to keep the readers from guessing that the 'damsel in distress' was someone else in disguise, there were passages from that character's point of view where she was thinking exactly as she would if she really were who/what she appeared to be.

In fact, she was thinking things that she would/could not have thought if she were actually Tonks.

If the scene had been skipped entirely, odds were still very slim that readers would have assumed she was anything but legit, so adding a POV scene that basically made it impossible for her to be Tonks (when, in fact, it was Tonks) was not only absolute douchebaggery and a Bad Author Trick™, it was simply unnecessary.

That's not being more clever than the reader, that's flat out lying to the reader so they can't figure out what's going on. Not cool.

 

What a shame that this has seemingly gone from wonderfully new, to rather south in a matter of half a chapter. Fool me once and all that, truly a fail point of the story was the dooping twice in pretty much the same way.

I did like the fact that there is an underground blood sport going on...channelling Temptations of a Dark Soul, though we'll see if it can measure up soon. On that topic didn't the author state that the fluctuations in HP's magic was causing shit to spontaneously go boom when angry? what was the deal of being kept cuffed then?

 

It says something about the authors talent, when I don't get bothered by Idiot! Wimp!Harry.

If it happens again, I'll of course have to drag down my rating, but 4.5/5 for now.

 

I don't think either that Tonks had anything to do with Harry's kidnapping. (How did that idea come up, anyway?)
Mainly because I get a strong Harry/Tonks vibe from this story, which would suit me just fine.

 

Yeah that thought occured to me as well. Earlier in the story Harry is lighting his hands on fire and blowing stuff up, now, nothing, nada. Why the change, especially when he is furious and the magic should be going haywire?

 

I must say, apparently in contrast to basically everyone here, that I liked the fact that the Dumbledore-trick was repeated and worked this time around. I, at least, didn't really expect it to be another ploy, after all, 'they wouldn't try the same shit twice after it failed the first time, would they'?

Chapter Five felt slow and unimportant in comparison to the ones before and the new one.

The ship sounds to be too big. 500 rooms? Simply the walk that took longer than expected and the rooms mentioned would probably be enough to convey a sense of grandness.

The reason for him being kidnapped seems rather contrived. There should be more to it, even if it is only a 'I'm not telling'. Doing it just for the fun simply seems to be too 'out there'.

Spoiler

Also, we all know how he's going to escape, but the mention of "the scent of blood in the water" was unnecessary foreshadowing I feel.

 

Didn't he mention those beasts Hagrid was training in the last chapter? It would have been better (providing that those are Harry's opponents in the next chapter) if he left all mention of the beasts out of the chapter.

If the author does choose to do that then Harry has learned a life-saving nugget of knowledge from Hagrid, and that would be an easy transition to scenes where Harry works more with Hagrid during the semester. For example, in the future, Harry may have to fight a dragon and, after a fierce battle in a pit of doom, successfully slays the beast. Now, thanks to Hagrid, he now knows how to properly remove the heartstrings of the Norwegian Ridgeback, the correct salve to apply in order to keep them firm and useful in wands, and how best to dispose of the corpse when he is finished.

You know I'm high, but the idea has merit. So, in conclusion, a Harry/Hagrid pairing is in the future, clothing optional.

But seriously, I can sense a Tonks pairing. I always wanted to read a story where Tonks is attracted to Harry because of the way he handles situations and expects great things from him. From there, she systematically seduces him into becoming a great person and taking her along for the ride. You know, like Narcissa would do, but in the form of a twenty-something young Auror.

Again, high, but the idea has merit.

 

Can't say that I would be all over the Harry/Hagrid idea...

...but the honks sounds lovely. If this turns into Honks, I will be very very happy.

 

Not sure if a permanent arrangement would work while Harry's still at school, but flirting and going perhaps quite a lot further with no strings attached would definitely be interesting.